


Venom

by bxrn_vvitch



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Choking, Collars, Comfort, Conditioning, Crying, Crying Loki (Marvel), Dancing, Dark, Dom/sub, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Established Relationship, Fisting, Forced Relationship, Handcuffs, Humiliation, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Loki is kinda outta character but it fits with the story so its okay, M/M, Manipulation, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Odin is a dick, Protective Tony Stark, Public Blow Jobs, Public Nudity, Punishment, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Secret Relationship, Self Harm, Sibling Incest, Slave Loki (Marvel), Suicide Attempt, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Violence, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 87,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26088115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bxrn_vvitch/pseuds/bxrn_vvitch
Summary: Loki really wants to go home. Or die. Whichever comes first.
Relationships: En Dwi Gast | Grandmaster/Loki, Loki/Thor (Marvel), Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 116
Kudos: 323





	1. The [Former] God of Mischief

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this story is a little weird. it doesn't follow the timeline of the movies. It has some of the same events, but they happen out of order sorta. and some of the characters are a little out of character.

Loki gazed into the mirror, looking himself up and down. He stared at the lacy panties, and how they hugged his hips, making his already feminine form look somehow more effeminate. He ran his finger over the black lace, one of the only two items of clothing he was allowed to wear. He moved his hand along his stomach and chest, letting out a shaky breath when he reached the bruises. On his ribcage and across his stomach, on his throat and wrists, his thighs and hips, were angry, purple bruises. They were the result of his last punishment. A bad day, a meeting gone wrong, something along those lines. He was never really sure why he was being punished. His fingers reached the thin metal collar that was around his neck. It was made of solid gold, covered in runes. He used to hate wearing it, but he's long since gotten used to it and has unwillingly accepted what it means. Not only is it a symbol of his involuntary submission, but it was the thing that kept him from escaping. Whatever the markings on the collar were, it kept him from using any type of magic. He was weakened, almost mortal. He toyed with the lock on the collar for a moment, before meeting his own eyes. For the first time in a long time, he took in his appearance. He'd never seen himself this bad. He almost looked like a completely different person. He looked tired, worn out. The dark circles under his eyes had never been so visible-- well, the left one was a bruise. There was dried blood smeared across his face, but he wasn't sure if it had come from his nose or mouth. His hip bones and ribs were more prominent than they'd ever been, and he was so pale that it was probably unhealthy. His hair was matted with blood and full of knots. As much as he didn't want to cut it off, he feared he'd have to with the state it was in-- if his master permitted it, that is.

Loki looked to the clock and sighed. It was almost time. He grabbed his robe off the bed and pulled it on. He felt better with it on because that way, he didn't have to see the bruises. He didn't have to see the marks that marred his skin, and he didn't have to be reminded of the things he was forced to do.

He made his way across the bedroom and down the stairs, limping slightly as he moved. His body ached.

He reached the front door and dropped to his knees. He spread his legs apart and crossed his arms behind his back. He kept his head down and his eyes on the floor.

It was nearly time for his master to come back, and if Loki wasn't waiting by the door like this, he'd get hurt again.

"I'm sorry, brother." Loki whispered into the empty house. "Truly."

Often when he was alone, he would find himself talking to his brother— well, more like talking at him because he never did answer. It made him feel better. It made him feel close to home. And he was hoping that one day Thor would hear him and help him.

The big doors swung open, and he walked inside. Loki went to look up but he stopped himself, keeping his eyes trained on his master's shoes as he got closer. Loki didn't open his mouth. He was forbidden to talk unless he was spoken to first. Should he speak out of turn, he'd be beaten.

Loki wasn't really sure who he was or what he did. All he knew was that he was a rather eccentric man who enjoyed watching people fight and humiliating Loki. He threw a lot of parties and knew a lot of people. He had orgies a lot and drank quite a bit. He was almost like the ruler of this land and everyone treated him as such. They call him the Grandmaster.

As he approached Loki, he grabbed him by the hair. He pulled Loki to his feet. Loki could feel his master's breath on his neck, and he felt sick. "I'm having another party tonight, and you, my little slave, are the guest of honor. I promised a lot of people a show from the _prince_."

Loki didn't respond.

"If you don't behave tonight, I will make you feel pain like you've never felt before. Do you understand me, boy?"

"Yes, Master. I understand." Loki spoke through clenched teeth.

As usual, he was going to be shown off like he was some type of prized possession. He was treated like he was property and nothing but.

"I thought I told you to clean your blood off the floor."

"I did, Master."

"Did you? Because I'm looking at a spot right now."

Loki looked over and saw that there was in fact, a small smear of blood that he'd missed.

"Lick it." He ordered.

Loki looked up at him.

"Did I stutter?"

"No, Master..."

He crawled to the spot on the floor and leaned down. He swallowed what little pride he had left and stuck his tongue out. He lapped at the bloodstain until it was no longer on the floor. He hated this. He hated every single second of it.

"Good." He spoke. He messed with a piece of Loki's hair. "Go fix your hair. It's disgusting."

"I don't believe it's fixable, Master."

"So cut it off. I don't care. Just do something about it. You have one hour."

Loki nodded. "Yes, Master."

He headed upstairs, to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He wasn't sure how he could fix this. He didn't want to cut his hair. He liked his hair long. He turned the shower and quickly washed his hair, not worrying about anything else.

If he had use of his magic, he'd be able to fix his hair easily. He sat there with a brush for a while, managing to get almost all of the knots and mattes out. His hair would take some more work to get back to normal, but at least he wouldn't have to cut it off now.

He fixed his robe. walking back into the bedroom. He grabbed the pair of knee-high boots that sat on the floor and pulled them on. He glanced at himself in the mirror, frowning. He can't believe he let himself be treated like this. He can't believe he sunk so low as to let this man make him a slave. Loki was god, a prince...He deserved to rule, not be ruled. Now he stood there, dressed like a cheap whore so that a disgusting man wouldn't beat him half to death.

He was sure he'd have to perform in some way in front of a crowd tonight and he wasn't looking forward to it. His master constantly felt the need to humiliate Loki in some way, whether it be dancing or licking the floor or licking his boots or stripping. He said it kept him humble or something. Being humiliated like that kept him from getting too full of himself and trying to escape is what he was told.

"Loki..." He heard his master sing as he dramatically entered the room. He moved behind where Loki stood, playing with his hair. "Ah, you fixed it. Sort of."

He pushed Loki's robe aside and ran his fingertips over the bruises. He stared into the mirror for a moment. He tapped Loki's side and pulled away. Loki watched as the bruises on his skin faded away. He could still feel them, so he knew it was just an alteration to his appearance. Of course, he had to look a specific way. He couldn't show how cruel he truly was.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, nipping at Loki's neck.

Loki hesitated. He couldn't tell his master how much he hated every part of this or he'd be punished. "No, master."

"Really? You seem a bit tense..."

"I'm just nervous, Master." He said quickly.

"Why are you nervous?"

"I-it's not important."

"Sure it is. You shouldn't be nervous." He spoke, toying with Loki's collar. "Do I make you nervous?"

Loki met his eyes in the mirror.

"N-no, Master."

He placed his hand on Loki's throat, not applying pressure, just holding it there. "That's unfortunate. I'll have to work on that."

He pulled away.

"Get downstairs. The party is starting." He spoke. "Oh, I heard your brother would be attending. I guess he wants to watch you put on a show."

Loki's eyes widened and he spun around. "What?"

He smirked. "Oh yes. I'll be sure to keep him far away from you though. Wouldn't want him trying to take you away, would we?"

Loki let out a shaky breath.

"Remember what happens if you don't behave tonight, Loki..."

He nodded. "I-I know, Master."

"We still have some time...I think maybe you need a little reminder." He spoke quietly. "I can hear it in your voice...you're getting worked up."

"Please master...I-I understand. I'll behave."

He moved in front of Loki. He backed Loki into the corner, grabbing him roughly and spinning him around. He pushed him up against the wall. Loki tensed when his robe was pushed aside and his underwear was pushed down. He suppressed a shudder when he groped his ass.

He pressed his fingers between Loki's cheeks, slowly pulling the plug out of him. Loki whimpered, closing his eyes tightly.

"Here. Hold this." He ordered, grabbing Loki's jaw.

He was caught by surprise when the plug was suddenly shoved into his mouth. He gagged, the metal object pressing down on his tongue.

Loki made a pained noise as he felt fingers push their way inside of him. It hurts. Why did this have to happen? Why is this fair?

His master's hands left him and he heard his master pull his pants down. Loki closed his eyes tightly, bracing himself for the pain that was soon to come. A few seconds passed and it finally came. Loki sobbed in pain as he felt his master push inside. He struggled to hold back his tears. He hated this. He hated all of it, but this part was the worst. This part hurt the most. It was a different kind of pain. It wasn't just physical pain, it was psychological pain as well. It hurt his body and his mind. This was probably the most humiliating thing he's ever done. And he does it every day. No one usually sees it, but this was by far the most humiliating part. Loki, a god, and a prince forced to sink this low. This man raped him every day, sometimes more than once a day. Every time it happened, it broke Loki just a little bit more. And Loki knew that one day, he would break completely. He knew that one day, he wouldn't get back up.

His mind wandered to the first time it happened. Three long years ago. Loki remembered how he screamed and cried and begged. It was excruciatingly painful. His arms had been tied behind his back. His master had torn Loki's clothes off and forced himself into his mouth. He broke three of Loki's ribs for biting him. He took Loki right after that, screaming, and when he was done, he left him lying in a puddle of his own blood. Loki laid in the same spot for six days. He wouldn't move, wouldn't talk, wouldn't do anything.

He was ripped from his thoughts as he felt his master release inside of him. The plug was torn from his mouth and shoved back inside. He left Loki there to fix his clothing.

"Let's go. We're late."

Loki wiped his eyes quickly, before following his master down the stairs, not even giving himself a chance to recover from the sudden assault. They made their way down the stairs, through the halls, and to the large room where people were beginning to gather. Loki kept his head down, but he looked around, trying desperately to find Thor. He hadn't seen his brother in three years. Loki honestly wasn't even sure how he ended up here. All he remembered was being in the cell in Asgard, and the next thing he knew, he woke up in a pile of trash.

He truly hoped that Thor was coming. He realized that Thor probably thought he had just taken off though. He probably assumed that Loki had escaped and ran away. He probably didn't realize that Loki was here against his will, and were it his choice, he would've gone home long ago.

He pulled Loki up to a stage like area. He grabbed Loki by his hair and pulled him close. "Ladies, gentlemen..." He looked over at some strange alien-looking being, waving his hand. "Whatever you are..."

He pushed Loki in front of him. Loki tripped and stumbled to the floor. He landed on his hands and knees, looking up at the crowd of people through his hair.

"I present to you: Loki Odinson, Prince of Asgard, and God of Mischief."

He stepped back, sitting down and watching Loki.

"Dance, boy."

Loki got to his feet, jumping when a pole suddenly materialized in front of him. He looked back at his master. "Please...don't make me do this, Master. I'll do anything."

He stood back up. He walked over to Loki. He grabbed him by his throat. He pulled the robe from Loki's body and threw it on the floor. "If you don't start dancing right now, I'll fuck you right here, in front of everyone...in front of your brother..."

Loki made a small sound. "Fine. Fine. Just please don't do that."

He released Loki and sat down again. He watched Loki expectantly. Loki grabbed the pole, scanning the room for his brother. He didn't see him anywhere. Loki began to dance for the crowd. He kept his eyes closed. He feared that if he could see everyone, he wouldn't be able to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. And he knew that if he saw Thor, he'd probably break right then and there. As much as he wanted to see him, he hoped that he wouldn't arrive until after his performance was over.

He reluctantly moved his body. He felt sick to his stomach, knowing that all of these people wanted to see this. He hated dancing.

He heard a few whistles throughout the room, and somewhere in the distance, he heard thunder. He opened his eyes, looking around. That's when he saw it. It was hard to see, but he saw it. He saw movement in the crowd. A flash of blonde hair. He wanted to stop then and there and run to his brother. But he had to be sure first that it was actually him.

He wasn't sure how long he continued dancing for, but it was long enough for him to almost fall twice. He was hanging off the pole when it suddenly disappeared. He fell to the floor, hearing people laugh.

"Get over here." His master ordered.

Loki was too tired to stand, so he just crawled to where his master sat. He grabbed Loki's chin, forcing him to look up.

"I think you know what I want you to do now..."

Loki gave him a pleading look. "Please, you can do what you wish after the party. Please don't make me do this in front of everyone."

He scoffed. "I'll do what I want with you when I want. I own you. So if I want to make you ride me right now, I can. If I tell you to walk around naked, you'll do it. Because I own you."

Loki didn't respond.

"You're getting mouthy. I don't like that." He spoke. "I've been letting you slide. You're constantly talking back and speaking out of turn. You seem to think that you have some say in all of this. You seem to think you have some control. Well, you don't. Get it through your thick skull, boy. You are property and nothing but property. And you're in for a world of pain later."

Loki let out a shaky breath. He knew he screwed up.

"Now, I suggest you suck my cock before things get worse for you."

Loki nodded.

He reached over and pulled his master's pants down just enough. He pulled him out and stroked him to hardness before taking him into his mouth.

Loki wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. He rushed, almost choking himself multiple times. He just wanted this to end. The sooner this was over, the sooner he could go be alone.

He bobbed his head up and down, gagging as he went.

The crowd had split up and there were only a few people still watching. Loki didn't see Thor anywhere though.

He pulled away, licking around the base. He looked up, meeting his master's eyes. He tangled his fingers in Loki's hair, holding his head a few inches away. He stroked himself with his other hand, releasing onto Loki's face.

Loki gasped and tensed, not expecting that.

He pointed to a table in the corner of the room. "Go sit there. I'll deal with you later."

Loki wiped his face, nodding. He got to his feet and headed over to the table. He sat down, his back to the party.

He picked at a piece of bread that was on the table. He was cold. He wasn't sure where his robe was and he didn't want to go look for it.

"Loki." He heard.

He turned around quickly when he heard the voice, immediately knowing who it was. His eyes widened when he saw him.

Loki jumped up and hugged him. "Brother..."

"Wh- Are you okay?" Thor asked. "You're hugging me."

Loki pulled away and looked up at him. He just stared, not knowing what to say.

"Is this where you've been this entire time?" He asked. "You ran off here? To fulfill some man's sexual needs?"

Loki shook his head.

"I expected you to be ruling something when I finally found you. I've looked for you for the last three years. I was about to just give up. I figured you didn't want to be found. And then I heard of a party on a planet I didn't know existed. Supposedly the ruler of the land was promising a performance from Loki of Asgard..."

"No. I-I don't- I didn't come here on my own. I didn't run off. I don't want to be here. I hoped you'd find me." Loki explained. "H-he keeps me here. I want to go home. Take me home."

"What do you mean he keeps you here?" Thor asked. "And if you didn't run off, how'd you get here?"

Loki's hands subconsciously went to the collar on his neck. "I can't leave. Everything I did tonight was with the threat of another beating. I can't use my magic. I'm weak. I've done none of this willingly. I've no idea how I got here. I was in my cell, and then I woke up here."

"Loki~" His master called, walking over. He looked Thor up and down. "Who are you?"

"I'm Thor, God of Thunder."

"Hm- Come, Loki." He said, grabbing Loki's arm.

Loki didn't speak. He glanced at Thor.

Loki knew what would happen to him if he was taken away now. His master was taking him away to punish him.

" _Help_." Loki mouthed.

"I wish to speak with my brother."

He stopped and turned back to Thor. "Okay...?"

"I'm taking him home."

He just nodded. Loki watched, his eyes widening when he saw his master pull a small disk out of his pocket.

"Thor!" Loki called, trying to warn him.

He looked over but the object was on his neck before he could move. And then he was on the ground, electricity coursing through his body.

"Get rid of him." He called to the guards. "I want him in the arena."

He grabbed Loki by his arm again, digging his fingers in. He looked more angry than usual.

"That little stunt you just pulled is going to cost you." He spoke. "It's going to be even worse now."

Loki swallowed hard. He just fucked himself.


	2. Torn Apart

Loki was dragged into the bedroom and shoved up against the wall. He held him by his throat, leaning in close to his ear.

"Do you remember what I told you the first night you were here?" He asked.

Loki nodded.

"What did I say?"

"Y-you said that I belonged to you. You didn't care who I was or where I came from." Loki breathed. "You told me that I was yours to do with as you wished and that if I chose to disobey you, you'd make my life a living hell."

He nodded. "And what do you do more than anything?"

"Disobey."

"See, I'm trying to figure it out. I give you everything you could possibly need, and I ask for just one thing in return. One small, little thing. And you just can't seem to give it to me." He explained. "I ask for obedience. Yet you never obey. At first, I thought that maybe you were a masochist, that you enjoyed the punishments, but you cry and beg me to stop every time you're punished. So clearly that's not it. Then I figured you were maybe doing it for attention, so I started giving you more attention, but you just got worse. I even tried giving you the attention of others, but every time I do that, you beg me not to. I thought that maybe you wanted space, but as soon as I gave you a little freedom, you got more disobedient than before. So tell me, Loki, what is it you expect me to do?"

Loki just stared at him. He didn't know whether or not he should answer the question.

He let go of Loki's throat, tangling his fingers in his hair. Loki yelped as his head was roughly pulled back. He held him still while he forcibly removed the thin underwear that Loki had on.

"Please don't!" Loki cried.

"Shut up."

Loki had his eyes shut tight, trying to block out everything that was happening. He let out a shaky breath, fighting back tears.

Loki tried to pull away but his master's grip on him was too tight. He dragged Loki over to the bed and threw him onto it. He put his hand over Loki's mouth, holding him down. Loki squirmed in his grasp, trying to get away. He let out a muffled cry and tried to pull his master's hand away from his face.

His master pulled a gag out of the drawer and took his hand off of Loki's mouth so that he could grab his jaw. He dug his fingers in until Loki opened his mouth. Loki shook his head. He hated being gagged. It made him feel helpless.

He shoved the ball inside of Loki's mouth and held his mouth closed so he couldn't spit it out as he clasped it behind his head.

He flipped Loki over and grabbed his hands. He screamed past the gag and kicked. He couldn't get away.

He punched Loki in the side of the head. He whined, the punch dazing him just long enough for his master to tie his hands behind his back. "Stop fighting me."

Tears streamed down Loki's cheeks. He just wanted to go home. He wanted this to stop. He wished there was some way he could make him stop.

He pushed Loki off the bed and onto the floor. Loki stared up at him with wide, fearful eyes. He couldn't move. He couldn't fight. He couldn't beg. He was scared. His body was completely open. He couldn't block anything.

He groaned when suddenly he was kicked in the side. He squatted down and grabbed Loki by his hair again. He whimpered as he was pulled up off the floor, just far enough so that his face was close to Loki's.

"I wonder how much this little body can take..." He mused. "I don't think I've ever truly tested your limits."

Loki shook his head.

He smirked and walked away from Loki. He walked across the room, out of Loki's line of sight. Loki tried his hardest to move around to see but his vision was blocked by the bed.

Loki was scared. He didn't honestly know what he meant by that. How did he plan to test Loki's limits? What was he going to do?

When he finally came back, he held a strip of black cloth. Loki knew what that was for. He was going to blindfold him.

Loki didn't even fight it. He just let him cover his eyes. He wanted to avoid getting hurt anymore than he already was going to.

He was quiet. He couldn't see what was going on so he tried to listen. He heard him moving around the room, but he didn't know what he was doing. He heard him moving stuff around.

He gasped when he was flipped over. He grabbed Loki's hips and pulled his ass up. His cheek scraped against the floor. He had no way of supporting himself with his hands bound as they were.

Loki trembled with fear but didn't try to fight. He yelped when his master slapped his ass. Loki whimpered when he pulled the plug out. He heard it hit the ground. Not even a second later, he pushed a finger into Loki.

"I wonder how much I can fit in here..."

Loki tried to say "no" but it just sounded like a muffled grunt. He didn't like the way that sounded. He didn't want to know how much could fit inside of him. That sounded horrible.

"Your hole is just begging to be filled."

Loki shook his head.

"Oh yes."

His master added a second and third finger in quick succession, roughly moving them in and out of Loki. He tried to move forward, away from him, but he was pulled back. He shoved a fourth finger into Loki. It stung, starting to become painful. His master was never kind enough to use any type of lubricant.

Loki screamed when he suddenly pushed his entire fist inside. He's never done this before. Loki was crying now, the blindfold quickly becoming saturated by his tears. Oh god did it hurt. Loki had never been stretched like this. It felt like he was being torn apart.

He moved his hand in and out as fast as he could. Loki moaned in pain. He wanted so badly for him to stop. He'd do anything if it meant his master would stop this brutal assault on his body. He'd give anything for it to end.

"How does it feel, boy?" He asked, slapping Loki's ass with his free hand.

He tried to beg him to stop but all that came out were pained moans.

"You like it that much, huh? Maybe I should give you more."

Loki screamed again, shaking his head hard.

This wasn't fair. What did he do to deserve this hell? Was this the universe's way of making him pay for his crimes? Because it's awfully cruel.

Loki wished he could die. Anything to put an end to this pain. He wanted to go home. He wanted his brother. He wanted it to stop, and he wanted more than anything to murder this man.

He felt himself be stretched even further by his master's other hand. He tried to pull away. He started fighting. He couldn't let this go on any further. He'd never experienced pain like this. He tried to flip himself over, only managing to fall on his side. He cried out, kicked at his master with all the strength he could muster. He finally felt his master's hands leave his body. He let out a sigh of relief, but it was short lived. His master tangled his fingers in Loki's hair, picking his head up and slamming it into the floor. Loki screamed, trying to roll away from him.

Loki felt a kick to his side and he swore he felt his bones break. The hit had knocked the wind out of him and he found himself unable to move.

Loki tried to put his mind elsewhere, to think about something, anything else, as he was hit over and over again. He thought of his brother and his home and his family. He let his mind wander to the nights he shared with Thor that seemed like they were lifetimes ago. He imagined what it would feel like when he finally was free when he finally got a chance to kill this man for what he'd done to him. He tried to remember what is felt like to feel his brother's warm and safe embrace, what his touch felt like. He tried to trick his mind into thinking that it was anyone else's hands on his body. He willed himself to remember what it felt like when his magic coursed through his veins. He thought of how happy he was when he was free. He missed his life.

Loki had just given up on fighting. He couldn't do it. Why risk more pain when he could just lay there and take his punishment. His throat hurt from screaming. His body ached and his nose was filled with the all too familiar metallic scent of blood. Not only could he smell it, but he tasted it as well.

He could feel his consciousness slowly drifting away from him. His head was spinning and he felt like he was floating. Was this it? Is this what it felt like to die? Part of him hoped that it was because then, he'd never have to suffer again. He was scared, but he was too far gone to acknowledge it.

He no longer felt or heard anything that was going on around him. There was nothing but darkness, emptiness. He fought to stay awake for as long as he could, but eventually, he just let go. He let himself fall into the darkness that he hoped was the end of his life.

* * *

_"How long has it been, brother?"_

_"Far too long." Loki breathed. "I feel as if you've been gone forever. I've missed you."_

_"And I, you."_

_Thor looked around the room before grabbing Loki's hand. "Come."_

_Loki allowed himself to be pulled along, following Thor to his bedroom. Once they were inside, he closed and locked the door, pushing Loki up against it. He smashed their lips together, his hands wandering down Loki's sides. He reached his brother's ass, gripping him tight. He tapped Loki's hip, signaling him to jump, not breaking the kiss. Loki wrapped his legs around Thor, groaning softly._

_He carried Loki to the bed and dropped him down. They finally separated, both of them panting softly. Thor messed with Loki's clothing before letting out a frustrated grunt. "You wear too much."_

_Loki smiled and there was a glimmer of gold light, his clothes disappearing. "Problem solved."_

_Thor smirked, attaching his lips to Loki's neck. He sucked a deep purple mark into his brother's pale skin. Loki groaned, tilting his head back to give Thor better access to him._

_Thor pulled away from Loki and stood up. He stared at Loki, not breaking eye contact as he shed his clothing._

_He grabbed a thing of oil from the bedside drawer before he climbed back on the bed, leaning over Loki, and kissing down his chest. He reached down, grasping Loki's erection. He stroked him slowly, small, breathy moans leaving Loki's lips._

_"Please..." Loki begged, tangling his fingers in his brother's hair._

_Thor looked up at him. "Please what? Tell me what you want..."_

_"I want you." He breathed._

_"I'm here." He responded, rubbing his thumb over Loki's tip._

_"Please, brother. I need you."_

_"Roll over." Thor told him._

_Loki shook his head. "Wanna see you..."_

_He just nodded and coated his fingers with the oil._

_"I-I don't need that. I just want you.'_

_Thor raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"_

_Loki moaned and nodded. He grasped Loki's thighs and spread his legs. Loki's eyes were closed as he reveled in the feeling of his brother's hands on his skin._

_"Oh, you little slut..."_

_Loki opened his eyes, breathing heavily. "Y-you left me alone for so long...I needed something..."_

_Thor pressed on the plug that was inside of Loki's body. Loki let out a loud cry, throw his head back. He pulled it out just a little and pushed it back in, fucking Loki with it. Loki whined and whimpered, arching his back as the toy brushed against his prostate. Thor had his hand on his own cock as he played with Loki, every single little sound making him more and more aroused._

_"Please, Thor!" He begged._

_"What?"_

_"I-I need you inside me."_

_Thor finally gave in to Loki's begging, knowing that he wouldn't last much longer at this rate. He pulled the plug out of him and Loki whined at the empty feeling. He didn't have to wait long before Thor was pushing into him._

_"A-Ah~ I-I missed this." He spoke. "Please, never leave me again."_

_Thor grunted as he moved in and out of him. "I won't."_

_He leaned over Loki, pressing their foreheads together as he fucked him. Loki hooked his arms around the back of Thor's neck, pulling him in for a kiss._

_Loki gasped into Thor's mouth as he started to stroke him again._

_"Tell me who you belong to." Thor grunted, his thrusts getting harder._

_"I- Oh...I-I belong to you, brother."_

_Loki thrust into his brother's hand, biting his lip. He arched his back, trying to get closer to Thor in every way possible._

_"I'm gonna cum." He panted._

_"Not until I do." Thor told him._

_Loki whined. Thor slowed down, deepening his thrusts. The sound of their skin hitting together filled the room. Loki raked his nails down Thor's back, definitely drawing blood. Thor hissed in pain, but didn't stop his movements. He tangled his fingers in Loki's hair, pressing their lips together again._

_Thor's thrusts became sloppy as he got closer and closer to his release. Loki pulled away from Thor, gasping for air._

_"Cum inside me."_

_"I plan on it."_

_He stopped moving, burying himself deep inside of Loki as he came. Loki moaned at the sensation, finally allowing himself to do the same. He came acorss his brother's stomach, breathing heavily._

_"Thank you." He whispered._

_Thor just kissed him again. He grabbed the plug from where he'd left it and pushed it back into Loki. "Keep that in there until I tell you otherwise."_

_Loki nodded, his head falling to the side. Thor laid down beside him, staring up at the ceiling. Loki moved onto his hands and knees, leaning over Thor. He lowered his head to Thor's stomach, sticking his tongue out. He cleaned his seed from Thor's body, staring up at him once he finished. Thor reached up and pushed Loki's hair out of his face._

_"You're beautiful."_

_Loki smiled and kissed his brother softly. "I thought you'd forgotten me."_

_Thor shook his head. "No. Never."_

_"I was scared. You were on Earth so long..."_

_"No, Loki. I'd never forget you. You've nothing to fear." He whispered. "No human could ever do for me what you do. She'll never mean as much as you. I love you."_

* * *

Loki forced his eyes open. His head was pounding. He didn't move as he glanced around the room through a veil of his hair.

He was on his side, his cheek pressed against the floor. He attempted to sit up but only managed to get a few inches off the ground before a flash of pain shot up his side. He dropped back down, groaning softly.

He was alone. There was no one in the room with him. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there or how he got there.

He could see dried blood staining the floor around him. He tried again to sit up, this time ignoring the pain that radiated through his body. He leaned against the wall, lifting his hand to shield his eyes from the sun that came through the windows. He rubbed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He debated looking down at his body but decided against it after seeing just how much blood was around him. He didn't want to know.

The events of the previous night came flooding back to him. He remembered the party and seeing his brother and then his master dragging him away to punish him. He remembered the punishment, and how badly it hurt. And then he remembered how he thought he was dying. He remembered the dream about his brother- it was a memory, really. It made his heart hurt. He longed for his brother.

He briefly wondered why Thor had acted so strangely when he saw Loki last night, but he pushed the thought away. He couldn't worry about that now. It would just upset him.

He could tell by the position of the sun that it was late in the afternoon. He wasn't sure where his master was, but he honestly wasn't too concerned. He didn't want to be near him. Loki managed to get to his feet. He limped into the bathroom, avoiding the mirror. He started the shower and stepped in, not caring if his master got mad at him for doing it without permission. The stream of cold water made the pain temporarily go away. The water turned red as it fell off of his body and went down the drain.

He finally looked down at himself. He let out a long breath. The majority of his body was now covered in bruises. He could see cuts along his hips and thighs where he'd been grabbed. There was a long, deep gash going down his forearm. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, letting the water go over his face. It stung in certain places, so he assumed he had cuts there as well.

He quickly finished in the shower, grabbing a towel as he got out. He dried himself off and walked out of the bathroom. He found the underwear that had been taken off of him the night before. He pulled them on, catching sight of himself in the mirror.

There was a dark purple bruise around his eye and traces of blood around his nose. His lip was split open and there were finger-shaped bruises on his jaw. The gold collar on his neck contrasted against the purple, standing out against his skin. His stomach and sides were coated in purple and yellow bruises, some new and some old. His thighs and hips had scratches all along them. There was rope burn on his wrists and he could see bruising around the cut on his arm. He was happy he couldn't see his back because it was probably even worse.

He suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He got back to the bathroom as quickly as he could and leaned over the toilet. He threw up but it was mostly just bile. He hadn't eaten in a few days. He doesn't eat much anymore.

He wiped his mouth with his hand, just sitting there for a few, trying to take a few deep breaths.

All of a sudden there was a hand in his hair and he was pulled to his feet. He was spun around and slapped across the face so hard that he fell back to the floor.

Loki looked up with wide eyes, holding his cheek. His master stood above him, obviously angry about something.

He kicked Loki in the stomach. He groaned and doubled over in pain.

"W-Why?" Loki choked, his voice hoarse and strained.

"Shut up." He ordered, tangling his fingers in Loki's hair.

He slammed Loki's head into the corner of the sink. He yelped, seeing blood drip onto the floor as he was pulled back. Loki moved his hands up to block the next hit that came. His master grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. Loki gasped and stopped moving. If his master twisted his arm any further, he knew it would break. He stayed still, waiting for whatever his master would do next.

"You're stupid fucking brother won." He growled into Loki's ear.

Loki's eyes went wide. He made Thor fight? Already? And he'd won?

"O-Oh..." Loki didn't know what to say. He didn't understand how it was his fault. He didn't help Thor win.

Loki felt happy though, despite the pain he was currently in. That meant there was still a chance that Thor could get him out of there. It meant that Thor was still alive.

He let go of Loki, pushing him towards the wall. "Did I say you could shower?"

Loki shook his head.

"So why did you?"

"I-I was covered in blood." He responded quietly.

He just snorted. He seemed to think for a moment.

"Let's go. We're going to go give your brother a little, uh, _parting gift."_


	3. Everytime I Close My Eyes

He forcibly stripped Loki before dragging him through the halls. Loki felt everyone's eyes on him as he followed his master. He'd used magic to cover Loki's bruises again, so he knew no one was staring at that. He wanted to curl up and die. He didn't like having everyone see his body like that.

Loki was scared. He didn't want to see Thor like this. He didn't want Thor to see how he looked. He knew that Thor would be angry.

His master brought him downstairs to the cells where Thor was. He held Loki up against the wall as he unlocked the door.

"Why am I still here?" He heard from inside the cell. "You told me that if I won, I'd gain my freedom! I won!"

The magic faded away from Loki as he pushed the door to the cell open. He stood in the doorway, staring at Thor. He didn't bring Loki into sight just yet though.

"Oh, yes. You'll have your freedom, but I just wanted to uh, show you something first."

He shoved Loki into the room, causing him to trip and fall onto the floor. As soon as Thor saw Loki, his eyes went wide. Loki kept his head down, not moving from where he fell. He didn't want to face his brother. Thor stared at Loki for a few moments before he let out a low growl and lunged forward. He was stopped about a foot away from Loki by chains on both of his wrists.

"What did you do?" Thor growled, pulling harshly at the chains.

Loki just laid on the floor, shaking as he quietly cried.

"Loki?" He called, his voice wavering.

Loki just shook his head. He didn't look up at his brother.

He stepped towards Loki and used his foot to push him onto his side. "Come on, sweetheart. Say hello to your brother."

Thor got a better look at the front of Loki's body. Loki still didn't look at his brother.

"You son of a bitch!" He hissed. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why not?" He asked, kicking Loki.

Loki let out a small cry.

His master leaned down and grabbed him by his hair. He pulled his head up, forcing him to look at Thor. Loki had tears rolling down his cheeks, he couldn't meet his brother's eyes.

He tightened his grip on Loki's hair. "Look at him, Loki."

Loki finally looked up, staring into his brother's eyes. Loki could see the anger in Thor's eyes. He wrapped his hand around Loki's throat.

"Get your damn hands off of him!"

Loki closed his eyes. He wanted this to stop. He was scared.

"Loki...look at me." Thor spoke softly.

Loki reluctantly opened his eyes. Thor gave him a soft smile.

"It's going to be alright."

Loki shook his head. "Nothing is alright..."

Loki glanced back at his master. He was just watching the exchange, his hand still in Loki's hair.

Loki grunted when he was dropped to the floor. Thor tried to move towards him, but still couldn't get loose. He let out a long exhale. "I demand you let Loki and I go."

"Yeah, sure, you won your freedom. But..." He leaned down by Loki and played with his collar. "I, uh, I think I'll keep this one."

"What do I have to do? How do I win his freedom?"

He just shrugged, seeming to think for a few. After a moment, he smirked. "Fuck him."

"What?"

"You heard me." He said. "Fuck him and I'll let you go."

Loki was quiet through this. He just listened to their conversation. If he was understanding right, all he had to do to go home was something he had done hundreds of times before.

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"I'm a man of my word. Loki can tell you. I always keep my word, don't I?"

Loki nodded, not moving from his position.

"Fine."

He pushed Loki onto his side.

Thor looked down at Loki. "Come here, Loki."

Loki crawled over, looking back at his master as he moved.

"I can't do this with chains." He spoke, holding his hands up.

"Try anything, and I'll kill him." He snapped his fingers and the chains fell away.

He immediately wrapped his arms around Loki. He held him and whispered into his ear in a language known only to Asgardians. " _It'll be okay. I'm here now. I know you're in pain but I need you to do this for me. I have to get you home. Just do what you would normally do with me and forget he's even here."_

Loki nodded. " _I-I'll try but I don't know..._ "

" _Just try for me, Loki._ "

Thor moved so that he could connect his and Loki's lips. Loki leaned into the kiss, filled with a sense of safety in his brother's arms.

Thor was careful as he laid Loki on the floor. He glanced up, before returning his attention back to Loki. He kissed Loki's neck, moving down his chest. He kept his hands on Loki's sides but was gentle so he didn't hurt him. He was careful not to put too much of his body weight on Loki because he was already injured.

Thor glanced up at Loki, seeing him staring at his master. "Keep your eyes on me, Loki."

He needed Loki to like this. They had to put on a good enough show. He know that if Loki was worried about that man, he wouldn't be able to enjoy it. He kissed down Loki's stomach, slipping his hands between Loki's legs. Loki gasped, instinctively jerking away.

"Stop. I'm not going to hurt you." He spoke softly.

Loki looked at his master. He was watching them, leaned up against the wall with his hand down his pants.

Thor moved back up by Loki's ear. " _Just look at me. Focus on me. I'm the only one here. I'm the one touching you. He's not here. I won't let him hurt you anymore...I need you to enjoy this. He wants a show."_

 _"How?"_ Loki whispered.

" _Just focus on me and me only._ "

Loki nodded. He tried his hardest to focus on Thor. He closed his eyes and payed attention to every touch of his brother's fingers. He thought back to the last time he had been with Thor, before he'd arrived here. He forced himself into that moment. He remembered that Thor had been angry with him. It had been just after the incident in New York, before they'd gone back to Asgard. Thor had taken him at Stark Tower. He'd told them that he was going to clean himself up and get Loki ready to go back to Asgard, when in reality, he'd taken Loki up there, muzzled and cuffed, and reminded him of his place.Loki had loved it. He remembered everything that Thor had done to him. He thought back to the way Thor had fingered him open and ate him out, and then he'd fucked him while he told Loki over and over again who he belonged to.

Loki had his eyes shut tight as Thor touched him. He put himself in that moment. It was the last time he had had sex that he enjoyed. He could feel himself begin to get aroused by his brother touching him, his master long forgotten.

"Thor~" he gasped, bucking his hips into Thor's hand.

He didn't open his eyes when he felt Thor's lips on his skin.

"That's it, baby." Thor breathed. "It feels good doesn't it?"

Loki nodded, whimpering softly.

He carefully moved his hands to Loki's thighs, spreading them apart. He moved between Loki's legs, gasping when he saw the state of Loki's ass. There was a large plug inside of him, and there was dried blood smeared across his skin. His ass cheeks were bruised and cut open. Thor gently eased the plug out of Loki, causing him to let out a small pained whine. He ran his thumb over Loki's abused and gaping hole, frowning. He could see dried cum along with even more blood. He felt bad for Loki. He doesn't deserve any of this.

Thor wished he had lube or oil. He didn't want to hurt Loki. He spit into his hand and stroked his cock. Loki hadn't opened his eyes once. He was scared.

"Sit up for me." Thor told him. " _I want you in my lap."_

" _Okay....Please don't hurt me..._ "

"I'd never hurt you."

Loki sat up, allowing Thor to pull him into his lap.

"You can open your eyes."

Loki nodded and slowly opened his eyes, meeting Thor's bright blue ones.

Loki kissed Thor softly, nuzzling his cheek. Thor put his hands on Loki's hips, and guided him down on his cock. Loki whimpered, wrapping his arms around his brother's neck. He hid his face in Thor's hair as he slowly rode him. He moved up and down, letting out small moans. Thor wrapped his fingers around Loki, stroking him as he bounced.

Thor had gone so long without release, he knew he wouldn't last. In the last three years, he hadn't touched anyone else. He had been waiting for Loki.

Loki was moving as fast as he could. He just wanted this to end. He wanted Thor to cum. He was happy to be with Thor, but he didn't want to do this. He wasn't enjoying this. He didn't enjoy sex anymore. He couldn't. He'd been tortured sexually for so long that he just couldn't enjoy it. He didn't want anyone to touch him. Touch meant pain. The only reason he was letting it happen now was because there was a chance that he could go home.

It wasn't long before Thor's thrusts sped up. He was close and Loki was happy. It was almost over. He didn't last long and Loki was thankful. It wasn't long before Thor filled him. He stroked Loki, causing him to release across Thor's stomach. He let out a low groan and fell against Thor. He pulled out of Loki and sat him down on his lap. He ran his fingers through Loki's hair, holding him close as he looked up. As much as he didn't want to be touched, he allowed it because it was Thor and Thor was safe. Thor was the only one who wouldn't hurt him.

"Let us leave. We did as you asked."

"Oh, yes. You're free to go." He spoke. He grabbed Loki and pulled him to his feet. "Go. Now. Before I change my mind."

"What?" Thor said. "We did as you asked. You said if I fucked him, you'd let us go."

He laughed. "No, I said that if you fucked him, I'd let you go."

Loki stood there with wide eyes. How had he been so stupid? How had he not realized? His master's tongue was sharper than his own. He'd said one thing—knowing how Thor and Loki would understand it—yet meant another thing entirely. He remembered his master's words. ' _You heard me. Fuck him and I'll let you go.'_ You. He was talking to Thor. He didn't say Loki.

"You lying bastard!"

"H-He didn't lie, Thor. His words were- ...h-he said you. He didn't say me."

Thor let out a low growl, then spoke so only Loki could understand. " _Be ready tonight. I'm taking you home."_

" _Tonight? That's not a good idea. They'll expect it."_

 _"I don't care."_ He growled. " _I'll come within a week."_

"What language is that? What is he saying?"

Thor didn't know if Loki would lie to him about his words.

Loki sighed. "It's Asgardian, Master. He said he wishes to kill you. Slowly and painfully. He wants to see you bleed...He wants to know what you'd look like if your insides were on the outside. He wishes to cut your tongue out and shove it down your throat. He wants to watch you choke on your own blood until you beg. He wants to beat you bloody as you've done to me. He wants to break you as you've broken me. He wants to know how you'd look on your knees, begging for mercy, screaming in pain, crying for help-"

Loki cut himself off. He'd said too much. He'd let his anger get the best of him.

He dragged Loki from the cell, stopping to tell one of the guards to release Thor.

He brought Loki upstairs, not bothering to hide Loki's bruises this time. He could feel eyes on him again. Not only was he naked, but this time, he was covered in bruises and tears. As soon as they were inside the bedroom, he shoved Loki up against the door as he locked it.

"That was an extraordinary sight, boy...watching you ride your brother's cock like the whore you are..."

Loki didn't speak.

"I couldn't wait to get you back up here so I could fuck you myself." He spoke. "But I must know: that wasn't the first time you were taken by your brother, was it?"

Loki shook his head. "N-no, master. It wasn't."

He laughed. "I knew you were a slut...wow...the prince of Asgard gets fucked by his own brother. That's fucking hot. A lot of people would pay to see that."

Loki frowned.

"Is that really what he said?"

"Huh?"

"Is that really what your brother said, Loki? In your language?"

Loki nodded. "Yes."

"Are you sure?"

Loki nodded again.

He leaned into Loki's ear. "Let me let you in on a little secret, my love...."

He licked the shell of Loki's ear.

 _"...I understood everything he said._ " He breathed in Asgardian.

Loki tensed, his eyes wide. "W-What?"

"Oh yes. It's rather cute how he thinks he'll just be able to waltz in here and take you away." He spoke, pausing for a moment as he walked across the room and sat on the bed. "I didn't know you felt so strongly...Why don't you tell me it again, Loki? Tell me how badly you wish to see me dead."

Loki swallowed hard. He was surely going to get beat again, whether he repeated his words or not. He stared at his master for a moment before making a decision. He knew he'd be punished no matter what he did, so he opted to say it again. He wanted his master to know how much he despised him. Loki took a deep breath and stood up straight.

"More than anything in this universe, I'd like to see you dead. You deserve a slow, painful, torturous death. And I'm going to be the one to give it to you. I want to hear you scream and beg and cry as I have. I want you to scream as I cut your cock off and shove it up your ass. I want you to cry as I cut your tongue out. I want to watch you beg me for mercy, on your knees, as you choke on your own blood. I want you to be terrified as I cut your heart out and watch you die. I want you to feel all of the pain you've forced me to feel all these years. I want you to be broken as I am. So before I do all of that, I'll torture you. You will feel every single thing I have. You deserve death and pain and suffering. And when I'm free, and I'm strong again, I will come back to destroy you."

"Those are bold words from a whore who can't block a single hit." He was by Loki in an instant, holding him up against the door by his throat.

Loki thrashed and tried to break free of his grasp.

"I thought I'd broken that skilled tongue of yours..." He whispered, prying Loki's mouth open. He pinched Loki's tongue between his fingers. "Evidently, I didn't do it well enough...maybe I'll just cut it out. That'll teach you not to open your mouth again."

Loki cried and shook his head.

He released Loki's tongue and grabbed his chin. "Maybe some time with these pretty little lips sewn shut will do you some good. Maybe it'll help you remember your place; silent and beneath me."

"No!" Loki yelled, wrenching away from his grasp, he ran across the room but there was no where to him to go.

His master grabbed him again and threw him down in the bed.

"If you move, I will cut out your tongue."

Loki stayed still, tears rolling down his pale cheeks. Why won't this end?

Loki's eyes went wide as he pulled out a roll of twine and a sewing needle from the bedside table. Loki briefly wondered where all this stuff comes from and how it all appears in the drawer.

He grabbed Loki by his jaw and held his head in place as he brought the needle to Loki's lips. He cried and he tried to fight back. "No! Stop!"

"Stop fighting me, boy."

Loki let out a tortured scream as the needle pierced his soft skin. "Stop! Master, please! I'm sorry!"

"It's too late for that. You brought this upon yourself...."


	4. It’s Like A Dark Paradise

Loki waited and waited. It'd been nearly five weeks, and Thor had not returned. Loki had given up hope that he would come. He'd told Loki that he'd come within the week, but that week had came and went. He'd left Loki behind.

As Loki was led down the halls by a leash, he realized that his master had succeeded in breaking him. The events of the last few weeks had just completely destroyed him. Now that he knew how Loki felt, he was even more brutal. Somehow.

Loki didn't fight anymore. He'd given up. What was the sense in fighting? It just gets him hurt more.

"Crawl." He heard.

Loki make a small noise and dropped to his hands and knees. He followed after his master, keeping his head down. They were heading to another party. Loki hoped he wouldn't have to dance at this one. He knew he wouldn't have to blow his master again, because he literally couldn't. His mouth was sewn shut to keep him from talking. It was a constant pain at first, but he's gotten used to it. He used to try to open his mouth when he screamed or cried, he used to try to talk, which would pull at the thread and make him bleed. He learned how to function without the use of his mouth so the pain wasn't too bad. He didn't eat, his master used magic to keep him just barely sustained, though he'd occasionally give him some water. Sometimes, if he wanted to hurt Loki, he'd force him to drink alcohol which would burn the wounds around his mouth.

They entered the room where people were beginning to gather. He led Loki through the crowd and up to where his master would sit.

Loki looked around, seeing a lot of faces he recognized from the last time and some that he'd never seen before.

He sat on the floor beside his master. He ran his fingers through Loki's messy hair, tugging when he got caught on a knot.

"You've been well behaved lately." He spoke, running his fingers over Loki's lips. "I think this has been good for you. You're learning your place well. I should have done this in the beginning."

Loki hummed in response, not meeting his masters eyes. He had tears in his eyes but he blinked them away. Someone came over to talk and Loki turned away. He wasn't allowed to listen to his master's conversations.

He stared at his hands. There were cuffs on his wrists. They were enchanted. There was no way to take them off. Only his master could. If he wanted Loki's hands behind his back, his hands would go there and he couldn't do anything. If he wants Loki's hands in front of him, they were in front of him and he couldn't move them. He said it made punishing Loki easier because he didn't have to fight Loki just to tie him up.

His master tapped his head and he turned back around fast.

"They're requesting another performance from you, my little prince..."

Loki just grunted. He looked at his master and shook his head. He's almost mastered conveying his emotions though facial expression by now.

"Get up."

Loki reluctantly got up.

Loki gave his master a fearful expression and whimpered.

"I don't advise disobeying. I will punish you and I will not be nice."

Loki let out a long exhale and walked over to the pole. He grabbed it and moved around it, dancing to the best of the song that had begun to play. He was scared. He hated having so much attention on him. He hated the way it felt. He wanted it to stop. He closed his eyes tightly as he moved, hoping it would make him feel like there was no one there.

Since his eyes were closed, he didn't notice his master's approach. He was suddenly pushed onto the floor. He gasped as he fell in front of everyone. He instinctively tried to opened his mouth when he gasped, which pulled at the threads, causing him more pain. He looked up at his master, tears in his eyes. He was laughing.

Loki got to his hands and knees, staring at the floor.

"You're getting better at that, boy."

Loki didn't show it, but he was filled with a sense of joy at the praise. Lately, he's found himself enjoying his masters praises as opposed to his insults and cruel words. He's found himself trying to get his master to say these things.

He pulled Loki up beside him and stripped him of the thin panties he was wearing. He closed his eyes again. He could feel all the eyes on him.

"You're going to walk around the party until I come get you. Anyone can touch you, grab you, hit you, I don't even care if they fuck you. You do as you're told and if you don't, you'll regret it. " He ordered. "If you're good, you might just get a reward."

Loki gave a small nod, forcing his eyes open. He wiped away his tears and stepped towards the crowd. He jumped when someone slapped his ass. He just kept walking. He could feel hands all over his body as he passed. People grabbed his ass and his arms and his throat, he felt hands on his thighs and in his hair. He could hear them talking. He could hear the things they were saying about him.

"He's a cute one.”

"You can just see how much a slut he is."

"He's so thin. How does he not break?"

"Oh, that's just cruel. The poor thing can't even talk."

"Whore."

"I wonder how much he costs."

Loki was suddenly grabbed and pulled into a man's chest. He gasped and tried to pull away but he was held in place.

"Shhh..." he was told. Loki stood still.

The man groped him, pulling at Loki's hair. He ran his hands down Loki's sides, causing him to let out a small whimper. He pulled Loki over to the corner of the room and pushed him up against the wall. He heard the man unzip his pants. He closed his eyes tight and pressed his forehead to the wall.

Why was his master letting them do this?

He felt the man's hands on his ass, spreading his open. He pulled the plug out and immediately pushed inside of Loki. He grunted and kept his eyes closed. Loki fought back tears. He wanted this to end. This wasn't fair.

* * *

By the end of the night, Loki was in tears. He was crouched in the corner, covering his head. He'd been fucked six times, forced to give two handjobs, and had been grabbed and groped more time than he could count. He knew he'd be punished for this, but he couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to be a plaything for all of these people. It hurt. 

He hugged his knees to his chest, hiding his face. He was under a table, trying to stay out of everyone's line of sight. He cried quietly. He wanted to go home. He felt sick and he was scared. His body ached. The tears rolling down his cheeks made the puncture marks on his lips burn. He didn't care. It was a feeling that he'd grown used to. He wished it would end. He hated this place. He hated his master, but more than anything, he hated himself, for allowing this to happen to him.

Loki made a startled sound when he was suddenly pulled out from under the table. The person gripped his hair and dragged him to his feet.

"What the fuck are you doing down there?"

Loki didn't look at his master. He noticed now that the room was completely empty. Everyone had left.

"How long were you under there?"

Loki shrugged. He honestly didn't know.

"How many people fucked you?"

Loki looked at the floor and held up six fingers.

"Hm. Good enough." He laughed and grabbed Loki's ass. "How's it feel, boy? You're nice and full, aren't you?"

Loki just nodded.

"Go clean yourself out and then wait in the bed for me." He ordered.

He nodded again. He couldn't tell if his master was mad at him for hiding or not. He hadn't said anything. He'd find out in a little while though.

He hated cleaning himself out. It made him feel sick. It was a reminder that he was just a toy, an object for pleasure, and that was it. That's probably why his master makes him do it. He knows how humiliating it is for Loki. He likes humiliating Loki.

He walked up to the bedroom, not even caring anymore that he was naked. He wanted to throw up. He couldn't throw up. He'd just choke on it. It'd happened once before, in the beginning. His master had to cut the threads and then restitch them so he didn't choke to death. Then he beat him for getting sick and told him he'd let him die next time.

He entered the bathroom and went towards the shower but stopped by the counter. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something shiny. He looked over. A pair of scissors sat there, next to the sink.

He walked over to them. He didn't know where they came from or how they got there. His master doesn't let him near sharp objects because a few weeks after he first got here, he had found a dagger and tried to kill himself. He never leaves them out. He's always careful. He wondered if his master had left them there intentionally, to see if he'd try to cut the threads or something. Loki had a different idea though.

He opened the blades and ran his finger over the edge. He gasped softly when it cut his finger open. He smiled. He looked at himself in the mirror, taking the open scissors up to his throat.

This was right.

His brother had forgotten about him. He was a slave to a cruel man. He had his voice taken from his for saying how he felt. He was alone. He was scared. He's been broken. Everyday, he is violated, in ways and more times than he can count. He's wished for death for so long. And maybe he can finally have it.

This is the only way out. He can't escape. He can only die. And he's more than willing to do it.

He pressed the blade into the soft skin, watching as it drew blood. He stared at the drop as it rolled down his skin. He shouldn't be so shocked by the sight of his own blood. He sees it so often.

He pulled the blade away from his neck. That spot wouldn't kill him. Not fast enough. He held up his wrist and closed the scissors. He held them in his fist and drove them into his wrist, just above the cuffs he was forced to wear. He made a small sound, but other than that, he stayed quiet.

Blood dripped onto the floor. A lot of blood. He quickly did the same to his other wrist before dropping the scissors. He fell against the wall.

He knew his master wouldn't be up for some time. He should bleed out before he comes in.

He stared at himself in the mirror. He hadn't realized it but he'd smeared blood across his face at some point. It's fine though. That's how his master likes him. Beaten and covered in blood.

He sunk down to the floor and reached for the scissors once more. He made another cut to ensure he wouldn't survive.

Loki wasn't sure how he was even still conscious. The floor, as well as his body, was covered blood. How much blood is in the body that he's still alive?

He suddenly had an idea. He used the blood on his fingers to write on the wall. He'd almost forgotten how to write, its been so long.

When he was done, and barely conscious, the wall read, 'You will never own me.' It was messy because his hands shook terribly and his vision went in and out of focus, but it was legible.

He had to quickly figure out a way to make sure he would not survive. He didn't know though. He didn't have the strength to pick up the scissors again. He felt weak, dizzy. He just leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. He hoped his heart would stop. He hoped he wouldn't wake up this time.

* * *

"He is your son!"

"He's lucky to be alive, you insolent brat!"

Thor growled, getting to his feet before his father. "Mother would agree with me! Loki needs to come home!"

"Your mother is dead! Loki stays where he is!" He yelled. "I sent him there-"

He stopped talking and Thor just stared at him. There was a long silence.

"...you sent him there?"

"You should not have gone looking for him. I forbade it and as usual, you did not listen. He needs to pay for his crimes."

"Loki has more than paid for his crimes. You did not see him as I did. He was beaten bloody. He'd been raped. He cried and begged. He was broken, a shell of his former self. He is my brother and I'm bringing him home." He growled.

"Oh well. He will be fine. Your brother is resilient." He spoke. "Forget about him, Thor. You have important things to focus on."

"Like what?"

"You will be king one day and you must prepare."

"I don't care."

"And what do you care about, Thor?" He asked. "Shagging your brother? — Don't think I don't know about that."

It hit Thor like a brick wall. "If you know about that...that's why you sent him there to be a slave. Not for his crimes..."

"I didn't know he'd become a slave like that. But yes, that's part of the reason. The main reason I did it was to protect the people of Asgard from him."

Thor just stared at his father, rage in his eyes. "I'm bringing him home. Do whatever you wish to me. I will not allow Loki to suffer any longer."

"If you go there, you will not be allowed back here."

"So be it."

Thor stormed out of the room. He was going to help his brother. But first he had to gather his friends. He couldn't do it alone.


	5. Turn and Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s a long one since the last one was short

"He's in there."

Sif raised an eyebrow. "In that large building?"

"Yes."

"Why does it have faces on it?" Fandral asked.

"I...don't know. He's a strange man."

"I can tell."

"It looks heavily guarded." Sif told him.

"It is."

"Well, lets get going." Volstagg spoke. "These people aren't going to kill themselves."

As they walked towards the building they got a ridiculous amount of looks from the planets residents. They must look a little out of place here, dressed in full battle gear.

"Do you even have a plan?" She asked Thor.

"Fight.

"Wonderful."

They were quiet for a few before Thor stopped them. "I have a favor to ask of you guys."

They stared at him expectantly.

"After we free him, I need you to bring Loki home and look after him. Make sure he's okay."

"Why can't you?"

"My father told me that if I go here, I'm not allowed to come back to Asgard. My father sent Loki here and he's angry that I found him."

After a moment, they all nodded. "We'll keep him safe."

"If your father put him here, is he really safe in Asgard?" Fandral asked.

Thor sighed. "Probably not. But he's going to need medical attention and he won't be able to get the right kind anywhere else."

They eventually found a side door on the building, deciding it wasn't really a good idea to go right through the front door.

They snuck inside, looking out for the guards.

"Do we know where exactly he is?"

Thor shook his head. "When I was here, I was in a cell. I didn't see where he kept Loki. But I mean, he can't be too hard to find."

They hid behind a pillar as two guards walked past.

There was no one else around so Thor jumped into and grabbed them. He pulled them back behind the pillar and held them up against the wall.

"Where is Loki?"

"What?" The one said.

"Who's that?"

"Loki! Tell me where he is!"

Sif stepped over. She held a large blade. The two guards stared at it with wide eyes. "Your Grandmaster's slave. Where is he kept?"

"I-In the Grandmaster's bedroom."

"And how do we get there?"

"It's up the stairs over there, on the top floor. Last door at the end of the corridor." The second one spoke, not taking his eyes off the blade.

"Good."

Thor knocked them out and they continued through the building, staying out of people's sight. They found the stairs and made their way up.

They ducked into random rooms to avoid guards as they headed up to the Grandmaster's room. There were a lot of stairs and a lot of floors, but eventually they reached the top.

They were quiet as they all walked down the long hallway towards the door at the end. They looked quickly to make sure no one was around before rushing towards the doorway.

The big double doors were open when they got there.They could hear movement from inside. They looked in, seeing no one in the actual room. They stepped in and closed the doors quietly. They didn't want to be noticed right away. They weren't sure who was in here.

There was noise coming from the bathroom. Thor looked into the bathroom, and in the reflection of the mirror, he could see the back of the Grandmaster. He couldn't tell if Loki was in there though.

Fandral hit his arm and pointed at the floor. There was blood all over. Thor's eyes went wide.

"Stupid fucking whore." They heard from within.

Sif stood beside the door, waiting for him to come out.

Thor saw a bloody pair of scissors hit the floor before he stepped into the doorway.

"Oh?" He said, looking between the three men. He hadn't noticed Sif yet.

"Where is Loki?"

"Well, uh— I-" He didn't get a chance to finish before Sif knocked him out from behind.

"I needed him to tell me."

"I looked. Loki's in there. But uh, Thor-"

He cut her off, pushing past her into the bathroom.

He looked down and immediately froze. Loki was laying on the floor, covered in blood. His wrists were cut open and bloody.

"Loki?" He called after a moment, dropping to the ground.

He ran a thumb across Loki's cheek, and then over his lips. His skin was cold to the touch. But it always has been. His blood was still warm though. It was still fresh. He had to be okay.

He just stared at his brother. Loki looked worse than he did when Thor saw him last. There were more bruises than last time. The dark circles under his eyes were worse. He was somehow thinner. And his mouth was sewn shut. He grabbed Loki and hugged him. He was trying to listen for a heart beat, for breathing, any sign that Loki was alive. He didn't hear anything.

"I don't think he's breathing..." Thor whispered, shocked by the sight of his brother. "We have to get him home."

He did this to himself. Thor read the words on the wall, written in blood. 'You will never own me.' He wanted to die. He didn't see any other way out. He tried to kill himself.

Thor felt horrible. He wished he could have come to Loki sooner, like he'd originally promised, but his father didn't let him. He waited years to see Loki again. He was scared. Loki wasn't breathing. His heart wasn't beating. There was so much blood. Loki had to be okay. He had to survive. He couldn't die.

"We'll bring him home. We'll look after him. But Thor..."

"Mm?" He hugged Loki close, running his fingers through his hair.

"You know there's a chance he won't survive, right?"

Thor shook his head. "He has to...I don't care. I'm coming home. I've changed my mind. Let him be angry with me....When he sees Loki, he'll know I was right."

"Bring us back!" Fandral called.

There was a sudden flash of light and they were back home. The moment they got there, Thor was rushing back to the palace. He didn't wait for anyone. He just went. He held Loki close and didn't stop until he reached the gates.

He got inside and rushed up the stairs to the medical area. He avoided everyone who tried to speak with him. Loki needed help. He could not die.

He placed Loki down on the table. "He needs immediate attention!"

A few people rushed over, their eyes immediately going wide.

"Is that...?"

"Yes. Loki. He needs help or he is going to die." Thor growled.

He stepped back and watched as they began to look over Loki's body. They grabbed supplies, quickly working to close the wounds on his wrists.

"Thor-"

"Not now, Father! I know. I will leave as soon as I ensure Loki's survival." He spoke, not turning his attention away from Loki.

"That's what I wanted to speak with you about. I had time to think. You're right. I should've allowed you to bring Loki home. He did not deserve this." He spoke. "Your mother would not have wanted this."

Thor looked at his father in disbelief. He'd never once admitted he was wrong.

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

“About your mother."

Thor shook his head. "I did not have a chance to tell him."

"Don't. Keep it from him for as long as you can. It'll break him even further."

"Do you really think it wise to keep something else from him?"

"Not really, but just for now, he can't know."

Thor nodded.

"Don't remove that collar!" Odin called to the doctors.

They nodded.

"Why not?" Thor asked.

"It's what's keeping him alive right now." He explained. "Loki's magic is dormant due to the collar, but the dormant magic is preserving his life. His body is weak right now, his life force fragile. Taking the collar off now would flood his body with so much power, it would kill him."

Thor just nodded.

"His mouth...you said you spoke with him?"

"Last time, yes, but that was two years ago. That's new." Thor told him. "I didn't speak to him today. When I got to him, he was bleeding out on a bathroom floor. He tried to kill himself."

Odin sighed. "I never expected this to be the outcome of sending him away. I was just trying to protect people."

Thor just shook his head. He watched as they carefully cut the threads on Loki's lips. "Did mother know?"

"No."

Thor looked back at him. "She died thinking he ran away. Good job."

He sighed. "Your brother will survive."

He walked away, leaving Thor there to watch then help Loki. They removed the cuffs from Loki and tossed them aside.

They bandaged the cuts and put healing ointment on the wounds around his mouth.

One of the doctors walked over to Thor. "We seem to have gotten him somewhat stable. He is breathing, his pulse is steady."

Thor nodded.

"But he isn't out of the woods yet. He lost a lot of blood and is currently unable to heal himself. He may not wake up for a while. He also could wake up soon. We don't know." She spoke. "There is a lot of internal damage. He was...raped. Often. It also appears that he was beat, burned, whipped, tortured...He's been though a lot. He may have a concussion as well. Though the wounds on his wrists were self inflicted."

She glanced over at him for a moment.

"He is severely malnourished. But chances are, his stomach won't be able to handle much food so we're going to hook him up to an IV." She explained. "That's only the damage you can see. I can only imagine the state of his head. There is no doubt in my mind that he is traumatized. His body is broken and I can guarantee you that his mind is worse. This type of torture, this type of abuse, leaves behind more mental scars than physical ones. He's going to need help. You have to be there for him."

Thor just stared at her. He nodded, unable to form a sentence. He didn't realize it was that bad. He knew there was a lot wrong, but he didn't know exactly what had happened to Loki.

He hated himself for not having disobeyed his father sooner. Loki might die and it's his fault. If only he'd gotten Loki out of there that day. It was already bad, but in the past few years, it seemed to have gotten worse.

When he saw Loki, all he had on his back were bruises. Now, there are lashes and burns. Loki could speak freely last he saw, and now his lips were sewn shut. He wondered what Loki had done to warrant that. He remembered the way Loki looked at him, the fear and pain in his eyes. He was terrified when that bastard dragged him away.

"Put him in his room." Thor spoke.

He hoped that seeing a familiar area when he woke would make Loki feel better. He didn't know his Loki would be when he woke up. He didn't know how Loki would react. He knew Loki was scared. It seemed that the two years after Thor had been there, had been worse than ever for Loki.

* * *

When Loki opened his eyes, he immediately shut them again. If he was awake, that meant he had failed again. Of course he had failed. This is now the third time he's failed to kill himself. He didn't understand why he couldn't just die. He couldn't do anything right. He couldn't even die right.

He shifted slightly and then froze. He was on a bed. Why was he on the bed? He wasn't allowed on the bed unless he was being fucked. Had his master put him there because he planned to punish him when he woke? He attempted to move his arm, confused when he found them unbound. And he no longer felt the cuffs. His arms felt lighter.

He was suddenly aware of the sound of breathing coming from beside him. It sounded too heavy to be coming from his master. And this bed was softer than his masters.

He opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. It was gold. His master's ceiling was red and white, not gold. He let out a shaky breath and turned his head to the side. He gasped when he saw his brother lying beside him. It wasn't his master, it was Thor. And this wasn't Sakaar, it was Asgard.

He sat up, ignoring the ache in his body. He looked around the room. This was his bedroom, in Asgard. How had he gotten here?

This couldn't be real. He had to be dreaming. Or maybe he actually was dead. Maybe this was his afterlife. He was home, Thor sleeping beside him. This wasn't real. This had to be a trick. His master must be doing this to hurt him. He must be putting this picture in his head so he'll feel safe, and then he's going to rip it away.

Loki looked down at himself. His body was covered in bandages. Blood had soaked through the white wraps on his wrists. The cuffs were gone. Loki lifted his fingers to his lips. He could not feel the stitches that should be there. He slowly opened his mouth and closed it again. He did it a few times, trying to get used to the feeling again. 

His master had never bandaged his wounds. He wouldn't remove the twine. He wouldn't remove the cuffs. His master would never allow him to just lie on the bed. This felt wrong. This all felt wrong. This wasn't real.

"Loki?"

Loki's head snapped to the side, his eyes wide. Thor sat up and Loki jumped back. He gasped when pain shot up his side.

Thor held out his hand. "Loki, it's okay..."

Loki moved back further, falling off the bed in the process. He whimpered and got to his hands and knees. He crawled over to the corner of the room, staring at Thor. He stood up and watched Loki.

"You're safe." He whispered. "You're home."

Loki just shook his head and grunted.

"You can talk, you know."

He was right. Loki could speak. He didn't want to though. This wasn't real. This was his master trying to make him disobey so he could punish him. There's no way he's actually home.

Loki was trembling, hugging his knees to his chest. Thor came closer and Loki tried to back himself farther into the corner.

"Loki, please. You're safe. There's nothing to be afraid of. Come here."

It did look like Thor. He seemed real. But Thor had left him behind. Thor never came like he promised. He left Loki to be tortured even worse than he had been before.

"Y-you're not real." He finally managed. His voice came out rough and scratchy, probably due to the fact that he hadn't spoke in a while.

"What? Loki, I'm real. I promise. I brought you home. You're safe now."

"How do I know? How do I-I know you're not just tricking me so I feel safe? How do I know this isn't another cruel punishment?"

"It's not a trick. It's not a punishment. I brought you home."

"Th-then tell me something only Thor would know." Loki breathed after a moment.

Thor seemed to think for a few. "When we were little, Loki, you'd have these awful nightmares. Father would get angry with you whenever you woke him and mother up when you had them, so you slept by me every night. You've always slept in my bed, well into your adult years. You still do— or did, at least."

Loki stared at him. That was true. And there's no way his master would know that. Loki never told him.

This was real.

He was home.

Thor moved closer to Loki, but Loki didn't move away this time. He allowed Thor to sit in front of him. He flinched when Thor lifted his hand.

"It's okay." He spoke softly, pushing Loki's hair out of his face.

Loki wanted to hug Thor but he was hesitant. He didn't know if that was okay. He didn't know if Thor would let him.

"Am I allowed to touch you? Or would you rather I didn't?"

Loki heard the question, but didn't answer. It didn't matter what he wanted. It never did. If Thor wanted to touch Loki, he could. Loki couldn't stop him whether he wanted it or not. He didn't hate Thor's touch as much as he hated everyone else, or his master's, but Loki couldn't stop him from touching him. It was his purpose. It's what he was made for. To be touched. If Thor were to grab him and force Loki to take his cock right now, Loki would have no other choice than to allow it. So it didn't matter whether Loki allowed it or not. It didn't matter if he liked it or not. He wasn't allowed to say no.

"Loki? I asked you something." He said, his voice a little louder than before. "Did you hear me?"

Loki gasped. He was angry now. Loki ignored his question. He was going to be punished. Loki closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "I-I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me, master. I-It doesn't matter what I want. Please."

Loki had started crying now. He jumped when his master grabbed his arm.

"Loki, calm down. It's me. I'm not your master and I'm not going to hurt you. And it absolutely matters what you want."

It was Thor's hand. It was not his master. That's right. He's home now. He still wasn't sure how he got here, but he was home.

Loki reopened his eyes. He looked at Thor but refused to meet his eyes.

"Do you want to put some clothes on?" Thor asked softly. "I think you'd be more comfortable."

"I'm not allowed."

"Yes, you are. Would you like clothes?"

Loki didn't know which answer was right. He didn't know if he should say yes or no. He didn't know which answer would get him hurt. He just wanted to be left alone. He didn't like these questions. They scared him. He didn't want to answer wrong.

Thor sighed. "Are you hungry? Would you like food?"

Loki didn't know how to respond again. He hugged his knees to his chest and buried his face in them. His body shook as he started to cry.

"Come sit on the bed."

Loki lifted his head and wiped his eyes. He nodded, following the order. He crawled over to the bed and climbed onto it. He sat on the edge of the bed, and watched as Thor came over. He stood in front of Loki, reaching over to run his fingers through his hair. He flinched, almost pulling away. He stopped himself though, fearing punishment.

"I'll be right back, okay? Just stay here."

Loki nodded. "Yes, m- Yes."

He'd gotten upset when Loki had called him master earlier. He didn't want to get hurt for saying it again.

He left the room and closed the door behind him. Loki stayed on the bed, as he was told, playing with the soft black blanket. He pulled it up and wrapped it around himself. He was cold. He hoped he wouldn't get yelled at. He didn't want to be punished again. He was just cold.

He looked around the room. He hadn't been here in a long time. He remembered here. It was his bedroom. He knew he was home but this still didn't feel right.

He lifted a hand to his neck, wrapping his fingers around the cool metal. If he was home, why was the collar still there? They removed everything else, why not the collar? He wasn't home, was he? He was right. This is a trick. A new form of punishment. His master wanted to hurt him. He was going to make Loki think he was safe in Asgard and then rip it all away.

Well now that Loki knew, it wouldn't hurt so much. He'd figured it out and he was ready. He expected it so it wouldn't be as awful when it happened.

The door opened again and Loki looked up. Thor—the fake Thor— had come back with a woman he'd never seen before.

They stood in the doorway. They were speaking quietly but Loki could still hear them.

"How he's acting is unsurprising. Would you like me to check on him now or wait until he's calm?"

He looked over at Loki. "I'd wait."

She nodded. "Try telling him to do things instead of asking. I know it sounds cruel because he might not want to do it, but it seems that he fears making decisions. It's best to keep him calm and comfortable until he gets used to being home again."

Thor thanked her and entered the room. Loki didn't see it before but Thor held a plate of food. He dropped the blanket and moved it away as he came over, not wanting to be punished for taking it without permission.

"I brought you food." He said. "Are you- I want you to eat it."

Loki gave a small nod. "Yes, master."

Loki immediately realized what he said.

"I'm sorry, ma- I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me." He begged, backing away as Thor came closer.

"Loki, you know I won't hurt you. Relax." He spoke, sitting beside him. "I'm not mad at you. I just want you to eat."

Loki eyed him warily as he placed the plate down. Why wasn't he angry? Loki had disobeyed. He'd said something he wasn't supposed to.

Loki looked down at the plate. Thor leaned back and watched as Loki picked up a grape. He took a small bite, glancing at Thor as he did so. Loki finished the grape a took another before turning to Thor who was lying there with his eyes closed. He gently tapped his brother's leg, waiting for Thor to acknowledge him.

"Yes?" He asked, sitting up.

Loki held up the edge of the blanket. "C-can I- uh, I...never mind."

"What is it, Loki? You want the blanket?"

Loki swallowed hard. "A-Am I allowed to h-have blankets?"

"Yes. You can have anything you want." Thor took the blanket and draped it over Loki's shoulders. "Are you cold?"

He didn't know if he should answer. He was scared. But he didn't think Thor would hurt him. Thor was being nice.

"Y-yes?" He responded, flinching as he spoke.

"Come. I want you to put some clothes on. Then you can finish eating."

Loki nodded and got on the floor, on his hands and knees.

Thor stared at him. Did he force Loki to crawl around like a dog? Thor hadn’t seen him walk at all. He just crawls. Thor wanted to kill the bastard for what he did to Loki.

He flinched when Thor reached down to him. "You can walk."

Loki slowly stood up. He followed Thor over to the closet. He opened it grabbed a dark green tunic and a pair of loose fitting pants and handed them to Loki.

He pulled them on before following Thor back to the bed. They sat down and Thor wrapped the blanket around Loki again.

Loki picked up an almond off the plate and ate that as well. He wasn't really feeling well, but his master- no, Thor, told him to eat. He nibbled on a piece of cheese, listening to Thor’s breathing. He wasn’t asleep, he was just watching Loki.

“Loki, I’m gonna ask you a few questions. I want you to answer however you wish. There are no wrong answers. You will not get hurt. Okay?”

Loki nodded hesitantly.

“Do you know who I am?”

Loki nodded again.

“Who?”

Loki finished his cheese. “You’re my brother.”

Thor smiled. “Do you know where you are?”

“Asgard?”

“Good. Are you afraid of me?”

Loki nodded. “A-A little.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. I won’t hurt you, I promise.”

Loki nodded.

Thor had no further questions. Loki continued to eat small pieces of the food Thor had brought.

After a few minutes, he tapped Thor again. He looked over at Loki. “My stomach hurts.”

“Okay. That’s fine. You don’t have to eat anymore. I just wanted you to eat as much as you could.”

He took the plate and set it aside. Thor patted the bed beside him.

“Come lay by me.” Thor spoke.

Loki did as he was told, moving so that he was lying beside his brother. He was a little reluctant to allow Thor to hold him, but once he felt the warm, familiar embrace, he relaxed somewhat. His nose was flooded with Thor’s earthy scent. He felt safe and calm, and that’s when he knew for sure that this was real.

He started crying softly, hugging Thor and burying his face in his chest.

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

Loki sniffled and looked up at his brother. “Th-this is real. Y-You’re real.”

Thor just nodded and smiled. He kissed the top of Loki’s head, running his fingers through Loki’s tangled hair. “Is this okay? Can I play with your hair?”

Loki nodded. “Please just don’t pull it.”

“I won’t.”

They laid there in silence for what felt like hours. Loki was calm. He felt safe. He was home. It’d been so long. He thought he’d never see his home again.

“I’m sorry I didn’t bring you home sooner. I feel so bad. Father needed my help and there was a war and the next thing I knew, two years had passed and I never came to you-“

“Two years?” Loki cut him off. “It’d been five weeks. You were with me five weeks ago there.”

“No, Loki...That was two years ago.”

Loki stared at him. “No...It couldn’t have been.”

“Look at my hair. Remember, he cut it off. It’s not going to grow this much in five weeks.”

Thor was right. His hair was too long for it to have been five weeks ago. Why had he thought it was five weeks? How did he not remember the last two years?


	6. Amnæsia

"There's multiple things that could be causing his loss of memory. What most likely happened, was that the last two years were so...traumatizing for Loki, that he simply pushed the memories out so he didn't have to live through them again. But the one that held him could have easily blocked his memories, or altered his perception of time. It is also a possibility that time simply works differently there than it does anywhere else." She explained. "I'd have to get him to talk about it, and judging by how he talks about it, I'll know what caused it. But I have a feeling he won't talk to me."

"I'll talk to him, you can listen. He seems really upset by it. He thought I'd only left him there five weeks ago." Thor said. "You should probably check him now though. He woke up a little while ago, a little disoriented but calm enough."

They headed towards Loki's room. When they got there, he was sitting on the bed, clawing at his arm. He was in tears, mumbling incoherently. He'd ripped the stitches open and blood was flowing down his arm.

"Loki!" Thor called, rushing over. He was startled by the sound of Thor's voice. He jumped back, catching himself before he fell off the bed. He finally reached Loki and gently grabbed his hands. "Hey, what happened? Calm down. It's okay. What happened?"

Loki stared at him with tears eyes. "W-Why can't I remember? Why is he doing this to me?"

Thor pushed some hair out of Loki's face and wiped his tears away. "I don't know, Loki. But we're going to figure it out. I promise."

They didn't realize the woman left the room until she came back with a few things in her hand. She set them down and stepped into Loki's line of sight.

"Loki?" She spoke.

Loki ignored her.

"You tore your stitches open. I have to fix them."

Loki didn't hear her words. He was too focused on the needle and thread in her hand. She stepped closer, putting her hand on the bed.

He nearly screamed, moving back. "No! Not again! Please! I'm sorry! I'll be quiet! I'll be good! Please don't do it again!"

She stepped back. "I'm not going to hurt you. You're bleeding."

Loki hid his face in Thor's chest. She couldn't sew his mouth shut if she couldn't even get to his mouth.

"Loki, no one is going to hurt you. She's trying to help you."

"No."

She placed a hand on Loki's.

He immediately jerked away. "Don't touch me!"

He hugged Thor, digging his fingers into Thor's arm.

"Loki, you have to let her help you. She's trying to fix your arm. You ripped the stitches out."

Loki shook his head. "No."

"How 'bout I hold you while she fixes your wrist?" He asked.

Loki shook his head again.

"All you have to do is hold your arm out. You're bleeding. I won't let her near your face."

Loki hesitated before responding. His arm did hurt. And he didn't want to bleed. "You promise?"

"I promise."

Loki held on to Thor tightly, slowly raising his arm. Thor reached over and closed his hand around Loki's wrist to hold him still. He jumped when she gently touched his arm and he gasped when the needle pushed in.

"I'm sorry. I know it hurts. It'll be over soon." She spoke.

"As soon as this is over, we can get you some food. And then I want to talk to you about something." Thor told him, glancing at her.

Loki tensed. "A-am I going to get punished?"

"No. You did nothing wrong. I promise."

Within a few minutes, she had finished redoing the stitches and had wrapped a bandage around them.

Loki pulled away from Thor and rubbed his eyes. He examined the bandages on his wrists before dropping his hand.

Thor kissed the top of his head. "Would you like to come get food with me or do you want to stay here? There are no wrong answers."

"C-can I come? I don't want t-to be alone."

He nodded, helping Loki to his feet. The doctor was gathering her things, leaving the room just before Loki and Thor.

Loki hugged Thor's arm as they walked, staying as close to him as possible. He flinched when they passed a few guards, holding onto Thor tighter.

They made their way to the kitchen, getting a few looks from people as they passed. Most of them were confused by Loki. They didn't know what had happened or why he was acting so strangely.

Thor had Loki sit down on a chair as he put some food on a plate. He didn't put a lot, knowing Loki most likely wouldn't finish it. It was just some bread, nuts, and berries.

"Thor."

Loki jumped at the sound of the voice as it echoed through the room. Thor turned to look at his father. Loki kept his eyes on his brother.

"Father." He greeted.

"How is your brother?" He asked. "Oh- Loki. I didn't see you there."

He came closer and Loki could feel his eyes on him. He wanted to run over to Thor but Thor had told him to sit here.

Thor could see the fear in Loki's eyes. He stopped what he was going and went over to Loki. "It's alright."

Loki didn't think it was alright. He didn't like being around their father. He scared him.

"Don't touch him." Thor said coldly.

Thor carried the plate over to Loki, taking his hand.

"Are you healing well?" He asked Loki.

Loki didn't look at him, he just gave a small nod. He didn't really want to talk. He held onto Thor's arm. He could feel Odin's eyes on him as they walked away.

Thor led Loki back to his room and closed the door. He locked it, taking Loki over to the bed. They sat down. Thor leaned against the headboard, allowing Loki to sit between his legs and lean against his chest. He wrapped the blanket around Loki's shoulders as he started to eat.

"Can I ask you about something?" Thor questioned, brushing his fingers through Loki's hair. "Or do you want to wait until you're done eating?"

Loki nodded.

"Now?"

He nodded again.

"Okay. I know you might not want to talk about this, but I need you to tell me what you can. I need you to tell me everything that's happened from the moment he took you away from me. I need to know everything you remember."

Loki looked back at him. "O-okay."

He chewed on the edge of a strawberry, taking a deep breathe.

"W-well, right after we left the cell, he took me up to his bedroom, a-and he'd asked me if what I'd said was really what you said and I said yes, and he started speaking in Asgardian and he told me that he understood it all so he knew I was lying and he knew that what I said was how I really felt and h-he got mad at me and so he sewed my lips shut and he-he punished me. And then...." Loki paused. He didn't remember what happened after that. It was just blank. He remembered that night, and then the past five weeks. He didn't remember anything in between that time. He didn't think anything of it at first, but now he knows that there should be something there. He passed out that night and then there was like a giant chunk of time just missing before the last few weeks. "And then...I-I don't remember. I don't know what happened. I only remember the past five weeks. But I feel like something is missing. There's a-a huge blank space in my head. I know something should be there, but it's not there."

Loki racked his brain, trying to remember anything. Nothing came to mind. He felt lost in his own head. How could he forget so much?

Thor looked angry when Loki glanced back at him. "I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, Loki. I'm mad at him for what he did to you." He spoke, hugging Loki.

Loki picked at a piece of bread.

"We're going to fix this. We're going to figure out what's wrong and fix it."

Loki didn't answer. He just went back to eating.

After some time, Thor had fallen asleep. Loki looked back at him. He picked the plate up and carefully put it on the nightstand. He turned onto his side and rested his head on Thor's chest. He curled into ball and pulled the blanket tight.

Loki absentmindedly toyed with the collar on his neck. He wanted it to come off. He didn't like it. If he was free, why was he still wearing it?

He tapped Thor's leg until he woke up. "Mmm?"

"Why do I have to wear the collar still?" Loki asked. 

Thor yawned and stretched his arms above his head. He reached over and touched the lock on the collar.

"Father said not to take it off until you've healed because your body is too weak and the surge of power would kill you."

"Oh."

That was untrue. Loki didn't say anything though. His magic wouldn't kill him. It would actually heal him. He thought about it for a moment and realized that his magic was probably the reason he failed all of his suicide attempts. Even though he couldn't use it, it was still in his body and would keep him alive.

"I'll be right back. I have to go talk to the woman from earlier."

"What about?" Loki asked.

He played with Loki's hair. "Your head."

"Why?" He questioned, looking up at his brother. "Is it because I'm stupid?"

"Loki..." He sighed. "You're not stupid. Don't say that."

"Yes I am. I'm stupid and weak and pathetic and all I'm good for is being a sex toy and a punching bag."

"You are none of those. You are amazing and smart and beautiful and powerful. Yes, Loki, you were used as a sex toy and a punching bag by a cruel man, but now you're safe and free, and I will not let anyone hurt you ever again." Thor told him, kissing the top of his head.

Loki looked down at the bed. Thor was wrong but he didn't say it.

"Alright, I'll be right back."

"Can't it wait?"

"It could. Why? What's wrong?"

"I want to sleep." He mumbled. "I don't want to sleep alone."

"Alright. I'll stay here."

He leaned back, holding his arms open. Loki moved over and laid next to Thor. Thor held him close, resting his chin on Loki's head.

"You'll be here when I wake up?"

He nodded. "Yes, I promise."

Loki smiled softly and closed his eyes.

"I love you." Loki heard just before sleep took him.

* * *

_"If you make one more fucking sound, you'll feel pain like you've never felt before." He growled, holding Loki up by his hair._

_Loki struggled not to cry out. He didn't want anymore pain. It already hurt so badly. He couldn't see, couldn't talk, couldn't move. He was angry withLoki for what he said. Loki should have known better then to open his mouth. The wounds around his lips stung and his blindfold was soaked—whether it was with tears or blood or both, he was unsure._

_He wrapped a hand around Loki's throat and held him against the wall. It wasn't long before he was inside of Loki, thrusting at a brutal pace. Loki fought to stay quiet through the assault._

_Everything ached. Every thrust of his master's hips sent pain shooting up his back. He wanted so badly for it to end. His master held onto his throat just tight enough to choke him without causing him to pass out. He wanted Loki to feel this, to suffer. He wanted Loki awake for this punishment._

_Loki's arms were bound behind his back, the only thing holding him up was the hand around his neck. He could feel his master's breath on his skin and it made him want to vomit._

_All of a sudden he was dropped to the floor, his head striking the wall as he fell. His vision flashed white and he didn't move. He felt dizzy, white spots dancing across his eyes. At this point, he wasn't even sure if his eyes were open or not. All he saw was black. He tasted blood, but he wasn't sure if it was from the fact that his lips had just been sewn shut or from the fact that he knew he'd bit his tongue when he fell. He wasn't even sure where the pain was coming from anymore. He felt it through his entire body._

_Loki let out an involuntary cry as he was kicked in the side of the head._

_"Didn't I tell you to stay quiet, whore?"_

_This time the kick was to his stomach._

_"I don't care what I have to do. I'm going to break you." His master growled. "I'm going to destroy you, tear you apart, just to build you back up again. I'm going to turn you into the perfect little slave."_

_He slapped Loki._

_"I can't remember the last time I had a challenge like this...but I guess I should’ve expected it, with you being a_ god _and all...”_

_Loki fell limp. He couldn't move, couldn't fight, he couldn't even scream. The pain was paralyzing. The slightest movements brought the worst pain._

_Then the pain worsened. He was hit across the stomach, chest, and thighs, and then flipped over. This time is was his back and his ass. He wasn't even sure what he was being hit with. All he knew was that every hit felt like fire. He could hardly hear over the sound of his head pounding, but he could faintly hear a crack with every hit._

_Then he felt his master push inside of him. He slapped Loki again. "If you pass out, it'll be worse when you wake up."_

_Loki didn't even know what was going on. Everything hurt so badly. He didn't understand why his master wanted to hurt him so badly. He didn't understand what he did to deserve this. He wanted Thor. Thor could save him. Thor was safe._

_Loki didn't know why his master wanted him conscious. It never mattered before. Loki would pass out halfway through a punishment, and he'd still continue. Either way, he fought to stay awake. This was bad enough. He didn't want to make it worse_

_He was so fucking stupid. Why did he open his mouth? Why did he say it? He knew better. He knew that saying that would just cause him a lot of pain._

_"I wish you could see yourself. So fucking pathetic."_

_The voice sounded miles away, echoing through his head._

_"You take my cock so well. You really are a fucking whore, aren't you?"_

_Loki didn't know if he should attempt to answer the question. He knew the answer his master wanted, but he wouldn't give the right one. He refused to submit like that. He wasn't a whore. He was just being used as one._

* * *

"-ki? Loki? Wake up!"

Loki sat up fast, panting hard. He looked around the room, jumping when he saw Thor beside him.

He didn't say anything. He looked down, trying to steady his breathing.

"Are you okay? You were crying in your sleep."

Loki glanced up at him and nodded. "I-I...just a dream."

Loki looked around the room again.

"Home." He whispered to himself. "Not real. Just a...dream."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Loki nodded again.

"Do you want to talk about your dream?"

"D-do you want me to talk about it?"

Thor ran his fingers through Loki's hair. "It's up to you. I want to know if _you_ want to talk about it."

"It doesn't matter." Loki spoke. "If you want me to talk about it, I will."

Thor sighed. Loki seems to have reverted back to not answering questions. "Tell me about your dream."

Loki looked up at him warily. "Alright..."

"If you don't want to, you don't have to."

"Do you want me to?"

Thor raised his eyebrows. "Loki, talk about it if you want. I don't want to make you talk about it if you don't want to."

Loki didn't really want to talk about it but it sounded as if Thor did want him to. He didn't like answering questions. He thought Thor had figured that out. Thor had told him before to tell him so he assumed that Thor did want to hear it.

Loki sat there for a few, playing with the hem of his shirt. He needed Thor to tell him what he wanted. Loki didn't know what he wanted or how to answer. He didn't really want to talk about it, but if Thor asked, then he would. And Thor had already told him to tell him.

Thor figured that whatever had gone on in Loki's dream is why he's acting this way. He'd been doing better earlier. He'd been answering some questions, but now he wouldn't.

"Tell me about your dream." Thor spoke.

"Well, it was...it was of that night after you'd been there." He said softly. "When he brought me back up the his room, he- I told you what he did at first, and then he blindfolded me and he...he choked me and he fucked me and then he told me how he was going to break me, and he kept hitting me and it hurt so bad and I-I...there was so much blood on me. I couldn't see it but I felt it and I smelled it. And he wouldn't let me pass out. He usually would knock me out like halfway through and just continue, but that time he told me that if I passed out, he'd make it worse when I woke up. And then he was yelling at me and hitting me more and it just hurt so bad. It hurt everywhere. I-I thought I was gonna die and I...."

Loki trailed off, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Thor hugged Loki, pulling him onto his lap. "I'm gonna kill him."

He gently grasped Loki's chin and tilted his head back. He wiped Loki's tears away with his thumbs.

"I promise you, Loki, he'll pay for what he did to you." Thor told him.

"Why?" Loki asked. "Why are you helping me? Why do you still care?"

"I love you, Loki. You're my brother. You're more than that actually. Why wouldn't I care?"

"Because I've been broken. Before, I-I...You were the only one I'd ever been with. I was yours alone, and now I've been used. I've been taken by I don't know how many people. I'm not the same as I was. I-I'm..."

"Loki...whether you've been with one person or one hundred, I will still love you. I love you for who you are, not what you can do for me in bed. You are amazing, Loki. I don't want you to think any other way." Thor told him, pressing his lips to Loki's forehead.

Loki shook his head. "That's the only thing I'm good for. I can't do anything else. It's the only thing I can do right."

"That's not true."

Loki didn't answer. He was wrong. It was very much true.

He put his head on Thor's chest, hugging him. He looked out the window. It was dark out now. It'd been day time when he'd fallen asleep. He wasn't tired anymore. He just wanted to lay here with his brother.

He felt safe like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love when y’all leave comments lmfao


	7. Volatile

Loki groaned and rolled onto his side. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He looked over at Thor. They both must've fallen asleep again.

Thor was still asleep. Loki rested his head on his chest and shifted closer to him. Thor moved slightly and Loki tensed. Thor was hard. He could feel it against his thigh.

He looked up at Thor. He was out cold. Loki wondered if he should help Thor. He didn't necessarily want to do it, but he assumed Thor would like it. That's what he was supposed to do. Thor helped him, so it was only right that he help Thor. And that's all he really knew how to do.

He moved so that he was on his hands and knees. He sat between Thor's legs, glancing up at him. He knew that if he was awake, he'd try and stop Loki, but Loki had to do this. He was supposed to do this.

He reached up and carefully grabbed the hem of Thor's pants. He pulled them down just enough to free his cock. He wrapped his hand around the base, glancing up. He groaned in his sleep, but didn't do anything else. Loki took the tip into his mouth, sucking softly. He stroked the rest as he worked his tongue around the head, dipping into the slit.

He slowly took more and more, struggling not to gag as he began to bob his head. Thor groaned softly, bucking his hips. Loki nearly choked. He looked up at Thor's face. He was still asleep. Loki closed his eyes and focused on what he as doing. He took Thor all the way, swallowing around him. He pulled off and ran his tongue along the shaft. He stroked Thor as he swirled his tongue around the head. He took him all the way back down, into his throat. There was spit running down his chin and his eyes were watery. He was sure he looked a mess.

There was suddenly a hand on his head, pulling him up. "Shit, Loki, stop. What are you- what are you doing?"

Loki licked his lips, looking up at Thor. "...helping?"

"No, you don't have to do that anymore. You're home, remember?"

"I know. But I have to."

"No, you don't." He said.

"I want to." He lied. "You helped me so I want to help you."

Loki honestly did not want to do it, but he felt obligated. He wanted Thor to be happy with him.

Thor pulled Loki up by him and wiped the drool off of his chin. "No."

"But-"

"Loki. No. You're not allowed to do that." He interrupted, unintentionally raising his voice.

Loki frowned and looked down at the bed. Now Thor was mad at him. He didn't mean to make him mad. Now he was in trouble. He was going to get punished, he was sure of it. "I-I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me..."

"I'm not going to hurt you. You know that."

Loki was silent for a few moments. "You don't want me to touch you because I've been used, because I'm- because I'm...dirty."

"That's not true. I told you, I don't care how many people have touched you. I love you either way. I don't want you doing it because I know you no longer associate sex with pleasure. It's torture for you." He explained. "I know you're only doing it because you think you have to, not because you want to."

"But I do want to!"

"Loki, this conversation is over. You are not allowed to do anything sexual." Thor said. He felt bad for saying it like he did, but he knew Loki wouldn't listen unless he made it sound like an order.

Loki pulled away from Thor. He crawled to the farthest corner of the bed and hugged his knees to his chest. He didn't look at Thor.

Thor sat up and moved closer to Loki. Loki got off the bed and made his way to the corner of the room.

Thor watched him. He could see the tears in Loki's eyes.

Thor fixed his pants and stood up. Loki could see that he was still hard. He didn't know why Thor wouldn't just let him help.

"Can't I help just this once?" Loki asked quietly. He wanted Thor to be happy with him."You're still hard..."

Thor sighed, looking over at Loki. "I...I suppose. Just this once."

Loki climbed back on the bed and crawled over to Thor. Thor watched as Loki pulled his pants down again. Loki stroked him slowly, looking up at him.

He tilted his head back, his eyes closed. He groaned when Loki took him into his mouth. He put his hand on the back of Loki's head as he bobbed his head up and down. Thor thrust his hips up. Loki gagged as Thor's cock hit the back of his throat.

"Shit, sorry." Thor groaned.

Loki recovered quickly, not stopping. He took Thor all the way down, swallowing around him. Loki met his brother's eyes as he choked on his cock.

"I'm close."

Loki hollowed his cheeks, sucking harder. He wanted Thor to cum.

It only took a few more minutes before Thor released into Loki's mouth. Loki swallowed it, pulled off. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, looking up at Thor.

Thor sat up, brushing his fingers through Loki's hair. He ran his thumb over Loki's lips. "Thank you."

Loki smiled softly and hugged his brother.

"I have to go talk to the doctor." Thor told him.

"The woman?"

Thor nodded. "Yes, the woman. Why don't you take a bath while I'm gone? It'll make you feel better."

"Okay."

Loki rolled off the bed and stood up. Thor followed after, leading Loki to the bathroom. He reached over and started the water, waiting for it to fill up.

"Do you love me?" Loki asked, sitting on the edge of the tub.

"Of course I do." He responded, kissing Loki's forehead.

He helped Loki out of his clothes and into the water.

"Just relax until I come back, okay?"

Loki nodded, enjoying the way the warm water felt on his skin. The aches in his body faded away.

Thor left the room, heading down to where he'd find her.

She was sitting at a table, mixing some herbs.

"Ah, Thor." She greeted when she saw him approach.

He smiled and waved.

"How is Loki?"

"He's doing okay, I think. He's been pretty calm."

She nodded. "Did you talk to him?"

"Yes. That's why I'm here."

She stopped what she was doing and turned to Thor. "What did he say?"

"He said that there's like a blank spot in his head. He said he feels like there should be something there, but there's a giant gap and he doesn't know why."

She seemed to think for a moment. "I was afraid of that."

"What is it?"

"It's old magic. The one who held him put...how do I put it...like a box, almost, in his head and put those memories into it, and sealed it. There's something he didn't want Loki remembering."

"Is there anyway to get rid of it?"

"Yes..."

"But?"

"It would be excruciatingly painful for Loki. And if this is in his head, he's already felt the pain once." She explained. "Once placed, it's not meant to be taken out. It was originally used to help those with ptsd, or who'd gone through things like Loki has. It's usually a remedy, but in Loki's case, it was used as a form of torture."

"Of course it was. This man found every fucking possible way torture him. He took things that Loki used to like, things that shouldn't be painful, and used them to hurt him."

"I know. It's cruel. What he did to Loki is horrible. But all you can do now is protect him and help him get through it." She said. "You can't reverse the damage, you can only help him work past it."

Thor let out a long exhale and nodded. "I know."

Thor walked out of the room. He stopped in the kitchen to grab a plate of food for Loki. He doubted Loki would eat it, because he rarely eats more than a few bites of bread or a few berries, but he wanted to bring it just in case.

He carried the plate down the hall, stopping for a moment as he passed his fathers room. He could hear talking from within.

"-him back in a few weeks." His father said.

"Why a few weeks? I want him now." He heard. "He's mine."

The voice was familiar but Thor couldn't place it.

"As soon as I can get Loki alone, you can have him back. I can't do anything if Thor won't leave his side." Odin spoke. "He remains powerless. He can't go anywhere. You'll have him back."

"So tell him to go do something. I want the bitch back."

It was the Grandmaster.

His father intended to send Loki back.

"You'll have him back. I assure you, I don't want him here."

Thor had heard enough. He rushed up to Loki's room. He had to get Loki somewhere safe. He wasn't safe here. He put the plate down on the nightstand and entered the bathroom. Loki jumped when Thor suddenly pushed the door open.

"We have to leave."

Loki looked up at him, confused. "Huh?"

"Come on. We have to go." He said again, helping Loki get to his feet. He wrapped a towel around Loki and pulled him into the bedroom.

He grabbed some clothes and handed them to Loki. He stopped in front of him and grabbed the collar on his neck. Loki jumped, grabbing Thor's hand.

"Hold still."

Thor snapped the lock on the collar and pulled it off of Loki. He tossed it across the room.

Loki was frozen in place. He felt this rush of power, and he dropped to his knees. His breath caught in his throat. He hadn't felt this in so long. It felt amazing. He felt his magic coursing through his veins for the first time in five years. It felt euphoric.

"Oh my god." Loki choked.

He finally remembered how to breathe.

He gasped for air, looking up at Thor. "Thank you."

He nodded. "I had a feeling that what father said about your magic was a lie."

"It was. I just didn't say anything."

Loki got to his feet. He looked at the clothes that he'd dropped on the floor. He picked them up and put them on.

"Where are we going?"

"Uh...Midgard."

"What for?"

"I need to get you somewhere safe."

Loki stood in front of Thor, looking up at him. "I thought I was safe here."

“So did I."

"What happened?" Loki asked.

"I'll tell you when we get where we're going."

"Thor, no. I'm scared. What's going on?" He asked. "Why am I not safe here? What happened?"

He sighed. "Fine. I'll tell you. But it's something that's going to upset you, so I just want you to listen right now and hold off on freaking out until we're elsewhere. Okay?"

"Okay..."

"I overheard father talking with the Grandmaster about sending you back to him. Father is the one that sent you there in the first place. I only found that out right before I brought you home. And I didn't tell you because I though father had had a change of heart. It appears I was wrong. You are not safe. I need to get you safe."

Loki just stared at him.

"I need you to tell me how to get to your secret passages out of Asgard."

Loki shook his head. "I-I can teleport. I have enough power. W-where are we going?"

"No. I don't want you doing that. You need your power to heal yourself."

"I don't know that I can remember where one is right now. Just use the Bifrost. Father won't know where we're going."

"Alright. I just didn't really want him knowing right away." Thor spoke. He looked over at Loki. He was staring at the floor, tears falling down his cheeks. Thor could tell by the way he was shaking that he was scared.

Thor walked over and took Loki's hand. Loki looked up at him.

"Can I see mother before we leave?"

"Oh...Loki, mother is...she's feeling a bit under the weather right now. She needs her rest. We'll come back when all this is over and you can see her."

Loki just nodded.

"Come here." Loki stood up and stepped towards Thor. He wrapped his arms around Loki, resting his chin on his head. "It's going to be alright.”

* * *

"Just wait here. Let me go in and talk for a moment." Thor told him.

Loki frowned and nodded. He stood near the door but stayed out of sight.

Loki looked at the city around him. It was actually a pretty nice city when he's not trying to destroy it.

He waited there for a few before he heard Thor's voice. "Loki? Come here."

He stepped into the doorway. Thor sat on the couch, Tony Stark beside him.

Thor motioned for him to come. "It's alright. Come here."

Loki moved over to where Thor sat. Tony watched him warily, seeming ready to draw a weapon at any moment.

Loki was visibly shaking as he approached them. Thor could tell that he was afraid.

"It's alright, Loki. Calm down."

Loki didn't speak. He just looked back and forth between the two, watching Tony out of the corner of

his eye.

"What exactly am I supposed to be seeing here?" Tony asked.

"He's not a threat."

"He's not staying here, Thor. I don't trust him."

"I told you. He's not how he used to be. I promise you." Thor spoke.

"Can you prove that?"

Thor sighed, looking up at Loki. "Loki, I want you to tell Tony what happened."

"W-what part?" Loki whispered.

"As much as you can."

"I don't want to."

Thor stood up and carefully grabbed Loki's arm. He jumped and jerked away. "Don't hurt me! I'll do it!"

"I'm not going to hurt you. You know that. You're safe."

Loki was quiet for a moment. "I know you won't hurt me, but he will."

Thor looked over at Tony who had his eyebrows raised, watching the two. "I'm not going to hurt you unless you try to hurt me."

"Just tell him what happened."

Loki looked over at Tony and then back to Thor. "Can't you tell him?"

"I suppose." Thor said. "But I don't know all the details so you're going to have to fill in the blanks."

He sat back down and Loki sat on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest as he watched them. "After the New York incident, I took Loki back to Asgard. Fa- Odin told him that he was to spend the rest of his life in a cell. A few weeks later, he went missing from his cell without a trace. We all assumed he had managed to escape. But what really happened, I only found out a few days ago, is that my father sold Loki to the ruler of a land none of us had ever of, called Sakaar. This was five years ago. Loki, this is where I need you. What happened when you got there?"

"I-I woke up, chained to a bed. There was this man, The Grandmaster, he calls himself, walking around the room, telling me about how he owned me now and that I was his property. I was confused. I tried to attack him, but before I could, he put a collar around my neck that would cut off my magic. He pinned me down and tore my clothes of. He...He raped me that night. And every night after that..." Loki trailed off.

Thor looked over at Tony. His eyes were wide.

"Two years ago, I found Loki. I had heard The Grandmaster was throwing a party and he promised a show from Loki of Asgard. I watched him force Loki to dance...amongst other things. I tried to help Loki, but the Grandmaster attacked me. He put me in an arena and told me that if I won, I'd go free. I won. Before he let me leave, he brought Loki to me. He showed me everything he did to him. I went home, intending to go back to bring him home within the week, but Odin wouldn't let me, and then there was war, and I wasn't able to get to him for two more years."

Loki was staring at the floor. He didn't like going over this stuff. It made him sad. "H-he-"

"I've heard enough." Tony interrupted. "He can stay."

"Thank you, Tony."

Loki didn't look up at Tony. He kept his eyes on the floor.

"There's a spare bedroom down the hall, to the left."

Thor helped Loki to his feet and walked him into the bedroom.

"Sit here. I'll be right back." He told Loki.

He nodded. Thor left the room and headed into the kitchen where Tony was.

"Thank you."

"Yeah. You're not staying you said?"

Thor shook his head. "I have to go back to Asgard. Loki isn't going to take it well though. He thinks I'm staying with him."

Tony nodded. "I think he'll be okay."

"I hope so. Do you have any food I can give him?"

"Look in the fridge. There's probably something."

Tony filled a glass with bourbon and leaned against the counter.

Thor found an apple in the fridge and rinsed it off.

"Anything I need to know before you leave me with him for god knows how long?"

Thor glanced over. "Uh, don't leave him alone for too long—he'll think too much and have a panic attack—don't touch him unless he lets you or he'll freak out, and don't ask him a lot of questions where he has to make a decision, it scares him. If you want him to do something, just tell him to do it. And try not to raise your voice."

Tony just nodded.

Thor headed back to where Loki was. He still sat on the bed in the same place that Thor had left him. He held the apple out to Loki. He stared at it for a moment before taking it. He just held it, looking down at the floor.

“I have to talk to you about something.”

Loki didn’t move. “Mm?”

“I have to go back to Asgard.”

“What?” He asked, finally looking up at Thor.

“I’m sorry but I have to go figure this out. Father has definitely realized we’re gone by now.”

“So you’re just going to leave me behind again?”

“No. I’m not leaving you behind. I’ll be back soon.” Thor said. “I promise. You’ll be safe here with Tony.”

“You said that last time and it took you two years to come back! And I don’t really think he likes me, Thor! I threw him out a window! And destroyed his city!” Loki cried.

“I’ll come back. I’m sorry it took me so long. It won’t take that long this time. You’ll be fine here. Tony doesn’t trust you, but he will not hurt you.”

Loki turned his back to Thor. He stared out the window.

“Loki, don’t be like that. Look at me.”

“Your leaving me again.” Loki stated, not turning around.

“Loki! Look at me.” He ordered.

He could see Loki tense before reluctantly turning back around. He stepped over to Loki and wiped his tears away.

“Just give me two weeks. If I’m not back by then, you can yell at me all you want. I’m not going to leave you behind again.”

“Whatever.” Loki mumbled. “I’m going to sleep.”

Loki put the apple down on the nightstand and laid on the bed. Thor covered him with the blanket and left the kissed his head.

“I love you, Loki.” He said as he left the room.


	8. Heaven Ain’t Close in a Place Like This

"Hey. Wake up." He spoke, shaking him softly. "C'mon."

Loki rolled over, his eyes opening slowly. He reached up and rubbed his eyes, groaning softly as he pulling himself into a sitting position. He froze when he caught sight of Tony.

"It's okay. 'm not gonna hurt you. Do you remember where you are?"

Loki nodded slowly before looking around the room.

"Where's Thor?" He asked quietly.

"He left."

Loki looked down at the bed, frowning. "Of course he did."

His voice cracked as he spoke. Tony felt bad for him. He never in a million years thought he'd feel bad for Loki, but after finding out what had happened to him, he did. "He'll be back."

Loki just shrugged. Tony sat down on the edge of the bed and grabbed the apple off of the nightstand.

He held the fruit out to Loki. "Would you like this?"

Loki looked at it and shook his head.

"Do you want this?" Tony asked as he held up the glass of whiskey in his other hand.

Loki shook his head again.

"Do you- Tell me what's bothering you." Tony said, remembering what Thor said about asking him questions.

"No one wants me anymore. Not after what happened to me." He spoke after a moment.

"That's not true. Your brother still wants you."

"If he wanted me, why did he leave me here?"

"To protect you."

Loki just sighed. He looked at Tony and crawled over to him. Tony raised an eyebrow when Loki rested his head on his thigh. He didn't lay down or anything. He just sat there on his hands and knees, with his forehead pressed against Tony's leg.

"You good?"

Loki nodded but didn't move.

Tony put his hand on Loki's head. "What are you doing?"

"Will you hold me?"

Loki's voice sounded so small and fragile. He was nothing like the man who'd attacked this city five years ago. "Sure."

Loki sat up and let Tony pull him into his lap. He rested his chin on Tony's shoulder.

"You're supposed to hate me. I hurt you. I hurt your friends. I killed people. I destroyed your city. Why don't you hate me, Stark?"

Tony seemed to think for a moment. "Because I can see that you're not the same as you were...And because I know what it feels like to be to tortured, what it does to you..."

Loki pulled back and looked at him with wide eyes. "You do?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Tony sighed. "They wanted something and I refused to give it to them."

"Oh."

Loki leaned against him again.

"I'm sorry." Loki spoke.

"For what?"

"I-I didn't mean to attack your city or your friends. It wasn't my choice. I was being controlled. I'm sorry."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Oh. Uh, that's okay."

They sat like that for a little longer, before Tony's leg started to cramp.

"Do you wanna watch a movie?"

"A what?"

"A movie. It's like, people acting. You guys don't have movies in Asgard?"

"So it's like a play?"

"Uh, yeah, sorta. Just better."

Loki nodded. "Okay."

He helped Loki get to his feet. He grabbed his glass off the nightstand and sipped it as he walked with Loki out to the living room.

He told Loki to sit on the couch as he walked into the kitchen. He made popcorn and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and an extra glass before sitting down on the couch beside Loki. He filled the glass and handed it to Loki.

“What's this?"

"Alcohol."

Loki took it and sipped it slowly.

"Jarvis, lights." Tony said.

The lights went out and Loki looked around the room. Who had Tony been talking to? There's no one here.

He leaned back, putting his arm around Loki. Something started to play on the tv. Loki actually wasn't too interested in watching anything. He just didn't want to be alone.

Tony held out a handful of popcorn to Loki. Loki looked at it for a moment before taking a piece. "What is it?"

"Popcorn."

Loki still didn't know what it was, but he took it and ate it. It didn't taste too bad. It was just salty. Loki leaned against Tony's shoulder, not really paying attention to the movie.

He felt comfortable like this. He felt like he could trust Tony. Tony hadn't hurt him and was letting him stay here. He hasn't tried to touch him or make him do anything he didn't want to do.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while. Loki had watched bits and pieces of the movie, but most of the time he was spacing out and thinking.

At some point throughout the movie, they'd shifted and Tony was lying down on the couch. Loki sat by his feet, glancing over at him. He was asleep. Loki carefully laid down next to him, putting his head on Tony's chest. He didn't know if Tony would get mad at him for this, but he felt safe like this. He didn't know why Tony made him feel safe, but he did.

He shifted slightly in his sleep, pulling Loki closer to him. Loki used his magic to create a blanket over them. There was some gold light and they were covered. Loki closed his eyes, but a moment later, there was a sharp pain in his chest.

He gasped, his hand flying up to his chest. The pain wouldn't go away. It was just getting worse.

He grabbed Tony's arm and shook him. "S-Stark!"

He had an idea what was happening but he hoped he wasn't right.

Tony woke up, staring at Loki who was clawing at his chest. He cried out in pain, digging his nails into Tony's arm.

"Loki, what's wrong? What's happening?"

His magic was rejecting his body. He hadn't felt anything before because he hadn't tried to use it. Now that he used it, it was attacking him.

"Loki? You have to try and tell me what's happening so I can help you."

"M-My- My magic. It's- oh god." Loki screamed in pain. "It's r-rejecting me!"

He'd never felt pain like this. He felt like he was being burned from the inside out. His veins felt like they were on fire. His heart felt even worse.

"How do I fix it?"

"T-thor." He managed. "Collar."

"Thor!" Tony called. "I don't know if you hear me, but I need you to get here now. There's something wrong with Loki! He said something about a collar."

Loki needed the collar back. That's the only thing that could fix it. If he cut off the magic, it couldn't attack him.

If Thor didn't show up, he could create the collar but it would be painful since the magic was already attacking him. He didn't want to have to do it.

Tony had moved him onto the floor so he didn't fall. Tony tried to keep him still but it wasn't working. Loki was writhing in pain, constantly groaning and crying out.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Loki stared up at Tony with tears in his eyes. "H-he's not coming. I-I have to-"

Loki was cut off by a flash of pain. He could barely move. It was like he was paralyzed. Tony sat there, wishing there was something he could do.

Loki summoned all of the power he could and conjured a copy of the collar that his master had made him wear. He screamed in pain. He knew that he shouldn't try to use the magic. He had to though. Thor wasn't coming and if he didn't fix this fast, his magic would kill him.

He held the collar up to Tony. "Put it- I-I need you to put it on me."

Tony took the collar from his hand and closed it around his neck, locking it in place.

The pain slowly began to fade away. He just laid there on the floor, panting.

"You okay?" Tony asked.

Loki nodded.

He allowed Tony to help him back onto the couch. Loki held onto him tightly.

"You wanna tell me what just happened?"

"I-I used my magic. It's been so long since I used it that it rejected me." Loki explained, sounding out of breath. "The collar is the one that my master used to keep me from using magic. It was the only way to fix it."

"Didn't you use your magic to create the collar though?"

Loki nodded. "I shouldn't have done that. It could have killed me. But Thor wasn't coming. And I would have died."

Tony played with the collar and sighed. "Jesus christ."

"I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to wake you up. I shouldn't have." Loki whispered all of a sudden.

"It's alright." Tony told him. "Don't worry about it."

"No. I'm sorry. It's not alright. I shouldn't have woken you up."

"It's not a problem. I'm happy you woke me up so I could help you."

Loki didn't respond.

"How does that collar work exactly?" Tony asked.

"The runes on it block my magic."

"So if I were to copy all those marks exactly on to something else, it would have the same effect?"

Loki shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, I would imagine."

Tony nodded.

"Why?" Loki asked.

"I can't imagine you enjoy wearing a collar."

Loki shook his head. "Not really but I have to."

"Not necessarily. If I can copy the marks onto something else, you wouldn't have to wear the collar." Tony said. "Come on. Let's see what we can do."

Loki followed Tony down to his workshop, looking around. He was confused. He stared at all of Tony's suits, moving back over by Tony. He sat down at his desk and told Loki to sit on the desk. He examined the markings on the collar and created an oversized floating see though model of it, which confused Loki even more.

He just looked at it as Tony moved it with his hands.

"How did you do that?" He asked. "I've never seen this type of magic before."

"It's science."

Loki gave him a weird look. Tony grabbed a glass and a bottle of something— Loki wasn't sure what— and started working.

Loki sat there while Tony worked, playing with the collar. He wondered if he'd ever have to go back to his master. He hoped he wouldn't have to. He was scared of having to go back. He didn't wanna go through it again. He couldn't handle the way his master treated him. He didn't want to be a slave anymore. He didn't want to be used for sex anymore. He didn't wanna be tortured or put on display anymore. He just wanted to be happy and safe, and he was scared that he'd never get that. He remembered the way everything felt, how badly it hurt. He was treated like an animal. He didn't know what he'd do if for some reason he ended up back there.

He could almost feel his master's hands on him, running along his skin, digging his nails in, striking him. He could hear his master's voice.

" _Such a good little slut for me."_

_"Stupid fucking bitch."_

_"That's it...scream for me. It hurts doesn't it."_

_"Spread your fucking legs."_

_"Oh, yeah. This little body was just made for me."_

_"Beg for it, whore. Beg me to fill you up."_

He could feel it like it was happening now. His master dug his nails into Loki's hips as he forced himself inside. He could feel his master hit him. He could hear his master yelling at him, and he could feel himself crying in pain.

"Loki! Hey!"

His eyes snapped open and he nearly screamed when he felt a hand on him. He jerked away and fell onto the to floor, crawling as far away from his master as he could get. He hid under a table, his eyes shut tight. He didn't want to get punished again.

"Loki? It's okay. You're okay. You can open your eyes." He heard. "I think you were having a panic attack."

Loki didn't open his eyes. He completely ignored Tony's words. "Please don't punish me again, master. I'm sorry. I'll do anything. Please just don't hurt me again."

"Look at me."

It took a few moments, but Loki finally forced his eyes open.

"I'm not going to hurt you. You're not going to be punished. I'm not your master. Do you remember who I am?"

Loki nodded.

"Who?"

Loki stared at him with wide eyes. "S-Stark."

"Yes, but you can just call me Tony."

Loki watched him as he came closer, ready to run if he needed to.

Tony stopped a few feet away from him and squatted down. He held his hand out to Loki.

"Come here. You're okay. Just breathe."

Loki shook his head.

"What happened?"

"I-I don't want to be punished." Loki managed.

"You won't be punished. You did nothing wrong."

Loki shook his head again. "You're lying. You're- You're going to hurt me like everyone else. You want to use me like they did."

"I'm not lying to you." Tony told him, sitting down in front of him. "I'm not going to hurt you. I don't want to use you. Just come here."

Loki watched him silently for a few minutes before eventually crawling over to him.

He carefully reached over and ran his hands through Loki's hair. "You're safe, okay?"

Loki nodded.

He let Tony pull him into his lap, hugging him.

"Are you okay?"

Loki nodded again.

"What happened?"

"I-I was thinking. I'm sorry." Loki whispered.

"You don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong."

Loki hugged Tony. Tony felt bad for him.

"Come on, why don't you get some sleep?"

"I already slept."

"Alright, so come sit with me while I work on this."

Loki nodded and followed Tony back to where he he'd been working. He sat down on the desk where he'd been before.

"What are you making?" Loki asked.

He reached up and touched the collar on Loki's neck. "A better version of this. Remember?"

Loki nodded and watched him messing with pieces of metal.

Loki got off the desk and dropped down on his knees. He moved so that he was in front of Tony. Tony put down the objects he'd been holding and pushed his chair back a couple of inches. He looked down at Loki and raised an eyebrow. "What're you doin'?

Loki looked up at him innocently. "Thank you?"

"Is that a question?"

Loki nodded.

"What are you asking me?"

"Can I?"

"Can you what?"

Tony had a vague idea of what Loki was asking but he wanted Loki to say it.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Loki sighed and put his hands on Tony's thighs. "I-I wanna- I wanna do it."

"Do what?"

Loki whined and put his head on Tony's leg.

"Oh fine. Do whatever it is you want to do."

Loki picked his head back up. He reached over and unbuttoned Tony's jeans.

He was stopped by a hand on his head. "Do you actually want to do that or are you saying you want to do it because you think I want you to do it?"

"I want to?"

"You don't sound too sure about that."

"I want to." He said again.

"Why?" Tony asked, messing with his hair.

"Because you helped me. So I want to say thank you. And this is how I know how. Because people like this."

Tony was silent for a few minutes, just staring at Loki's eyes. "Fine. I'm too drunk to keep going back and forth. Just don't tell your brother."

Loki gave him a small smile and finished undoing his jeans. Loki reached inside Tony's pants and pulled his cock out. Loki began to stroke him slowly and Tony let out a low groan.

He licked a long line up the underside of it, listening to the hitch of Tony's breath. He took the head into his mouth, sucking slowly, before he began to take more in.

Tony moaned softly and buried his fingers in Loki's hair. Tony rocked his hips slightly to get his cock further into Loki's mouth.

"Oh shit." He breathed. "You're good at this."

Tony groaned, his fingers still loosely curled in Loki's hair. Loki took him in further, ignoring the urge to gag. He bobbed his head up and down, looking up at Tony as he moved. Tony was staring down at him, his eyes half closed. He was breathing heavily, watching Loki's every movement.

He let out a loud groan when Loki swallowed around him. He lightly tugged at Loki's hair. He jerked his hips up, trying to get Loki to take him all the way. Loki obliged, taking Tony's cock as deep as he could. He moved his head up and down for a few moments before pulling off completely. He grasped the base and stroked him slowly, swirling his tongue around the head. He sucked it slowly, making eye contact with Tony.

"Shit, baby. I'm gonna cum."

Loki pulled off for a moment. "In my mouth."

He went back down, taking Tony all the way down. He could feel the hairs at the base against his nose. Loki hummed around him, bobbing his head up and down. Tony's grip on Loki's hair tightened as he came.

Loki pulled away and swallowed it, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked up at Tony. He was panting softly as he leaned down to cup Loki's chin.

"You really are very good at that." He whispered. He patted his leg. "Come here."

Loki got up and sat on Tony's lap. He placed his hand on Loki's thigh.

"Can I touch you?"

"Why?"

"Because if I got to feel good, so should you."

Loki was a little unsure, but he just nodded. "Okay."

"I want you to say it, Loki. I won't touch you unless you are one hundred percent okay with it."

Loki looked at him for a moment before putting his hand on top of Tony's.

"Y-yes. You can touch me."

Tony wanted to touch him and Loki would let him. He was supposed to let people touch him.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "I don't want to do anything that might scare you. I just want to make you feel good, but if you'd prefer me not to touch you, I won't."

Loki nodded. "You can."

"Tell me if you want me to stop. I promise, it'll feel good."

Loki nodded again. He bit his lip as Tony pushed his pants down just enough to push his hand inside.

Loki gasped when Tony wrapped his hand around him.

"It's okay." Tony told him. "Look at me."

Loki looked up at Tony and met his eyes. He moved his hand up and down, slowly stroking Loki.

"You're doing good. Just relax."

Loki whimpered softly, hiding his face in Tony's neck. It did feel good. He liked the way Tony's hand felt on him. It didn't hurt like it usually did. Tony wasn't going to hurt him.

"Do you like it?" He asked, resting his cheek against Loki's head.

Loki nodded. "Y-yes."

Loki moaned, lifting his hips slightly.

Loki realized that the only reason Tony was probably doing this is because he'd been drinking. If he was sober, he probably wouldn't want to touch Loki.

"You okay?" He asked, slowing his hand a little.

Loki whimpered and nodded. He hadn't felt pleasure like this in— well he didn't actually know how long. It felt nice. It didn't hurt. Tony wouldn't hurt him.

"S-stark. I-I..."

"Tony." He corrected. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No. I-I...I'm gonna..."

Tony moved his hand faster, bringing Loki closer and closer to release.

Loki tensed and cried out as he came, panting softly. Tony wrapped arms around Loki's trembling body as he came down from his orgasm. He could tell just by the way Loki was acting, that it was the one in a very long time.

"Th-thank you...Tony."

Tony smiled. "Of course. I had a feeling you needed that."

They sat in silence for a little while. Loki sat on Tony's lap, keeping his face in Tony's neck as he worked. Loki was suddenly really tired and kept dozing off. Tony didn't seem to mind though.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed. It's late. I'll finish this in the morning."

Loki nodded, half asleep.

Tony lifted him up and Loki picked his head up. He carried him up the stairs.

"I'll walk. You don't have to carry me. I'm heavy." Loki mumbled.

"You weigh, like, nothing. It's fine."

"That's not true. I'm fat. You can't carry me."

"You're not fat, Loki. Why do you think that?" Tony asked, pushing open the door to Loki's room.

"Because I am. I'll walk." He whined, squirming around in Tony's arms.

"Well it's too late. We're already here." He said, sitting down beside Loki. "Why do you think you're fat?"

Loki frowned and grabbed the blanket on the bed. He wrapped it around himself before looking back at Tony. He shrugged. "Master says I'm fat."

"Well he's wrong. If anything, you're too skinny." He told him. "Lay down."

Loki did as he was told, laying down on the bed. Tony put the blanket over him and for up.

Loki wanted to ask him to stay but he assumed he wouldn't want to. "Goodnight."

Loki didn't answer. He just closed his eyes.

Tony left the room and went down the hall to his own room.

"Jarvis, keep an eye on Loki."

_"Of course, sir."_

Tony kicked his jeans off and got into his bed. He hoped he'd be able to sleep tonight. This was the first time he'd been in his room in four days. He barely sleeps anymore.

Earlier when he fell asleep on the couch, was the longest he'd slept in the last few days.

He just hoped that tonight would be peaceful.


	9. You are the Antidote That Gets Me By

Tony woke up with a gasp, sitting up fast. He was breathing heavily, he felt his chest tightening.

He tried to breathe, he knew it was a anxiety attack. He had to breathe. He tore the blankets away from his body. He rolled out of the bed and landed on the floor.

His breathing started to regulate itself. He got onto his hand and knees, using the bed to pull himself to his feet.

"Jarvis, how long did I sleep?"

" _Two hours, sir."_

"Shit." He breathed. "That'll have to do....What's Loki doing?"

" _He is asleep."_

"Good."

Tony pulled some clothes on and went down to his workshop.

He decided that he'd finish the thing for Loki, since he apparently wasn't getting anymore sleep.

He sat down at his desk and grabbed the pieces of metal he'd been working with. He'd created the general shape, now he just had to refine the shape, engrave it, and paint it. It was meant to be a simple cuff bracelet that would be a lot less noticeable than the collar.

He got the shape fixed up pretty easily and started on the engraving. He studied the writing on the collar and copied them exactly onto the bracelet. It was a little hard because there was a lot less space on the bracelet than there was on the collar, but he made it work. He painted the metal black and then the writing gold. The writing honestly looked more ornamental than anything, so it made the bracelet look like an ordinary piece of jewelry.

By the time he'd finished, it was morning. He decided now was probably a good time to go wake Loki up. He headed up the stairs, stopped when he got to the living room. Thor stood in the middle of the room, staring at Tony.

"You called me?"

“Uh, yeah. Nice of you to finally show up."

"I apologize. I was dealing with something. Where is Loki? You said something was wrong." He spoke, approaching Tony.

"Yeah. It's fine now. He's asleep. I was just going to wake him up."

"What happened?"

"I'm not really sure. He said his magic was rejecting him. He said something about a collar."

"Yes, I heard. I brought the collar." He said, holding up the exact same collar Loki was currently wearing.

"Well, he took care of it. He used the magic that was attacking him to create a copy of that collar." Tony held up the bracelet in his hand. "I was going to give him this. He didn't seem too happy about having to wear the collar, so I copied the writing onto this."

Thor nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I know he's probably upset with me."

Tony shrugged. "Well, come with me to wake him up.”

Thor followed Tony to the room where Loki was. He pushed the door open and stepped inside. He walked over to Loki and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"He was alright otherwise?" Thor asked.

"Yeah. He had a small panic attack but other than that he was fine."

He lightly shook Loki.

Loki woke up with a small groan. He looked a little confused for a moment before he sat up.

"Morning." Tony said.

Loki looked up at him, waving. His eyes landed on Thor and he immediately looked away. Loki was mad at him. He almost died and Thor was too busy to come.

"I have something for you."

Loki looked back over to Tony who was holding out the bracelet.

"What is it?"

"It's the alternative to this. It's less noticeable and probably more comfortable." He explained, tapping the collar. He moved it aside, seeing imprints on his neck from where the collar dug in when he slept.

Loki took it from him, still ignoring his brother. "It's pretty. Thank you."

Loki put it on, reaching up to the collar to take it off. He realized then that he didn't have a key and that it was locked in place. He pulled on it and messed with the lock but he couldn't get it off.

"I'll get it." Thor said, approaching Loki.

Loki moved away and glared at him. "No. Go home."

"Loki, don't be mad at me. Please."

"I'm not mad. Just go home."

Thor sighed. "You know that everything I'm doing right now is to protect you. I didn't come when Tony called because father is flipping out. He doesn't know I took you away. He think the Grandmaster somehow got into Asgard and took you. He wants to start a war."

Loki didn't respond.

"I'll leave, but I want you to know that I'm just trying to protect you."

Loki looked down at the bed.

A few seconds passed and he heard the door open and close again.

"You know, he is trying to protect you.."

Loki just shrugged.

"Come here. Let me look at that lock."

Loki moved closer to Tony. He picked up the lock and examined it.

"Yeah I can get that off easily." He told him. "I want you to eat something first though. You haven't eaten at all since you got here."

Loki nodded and got up.

He walked with Tony into the kitchen. He sat Loki down on one of the stools at the counter.

"You okay?" Tony asked. "You're quiet."

Loki shrugged again. 

Tony dropped the matter. Loki wasn't in the mood to talk and Tony didn't want to push him.

He walked over to the fridge, looking at the calendar for a moment.

"Shit." He said suddenly, startling Loki.

"What? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me." Loki said quickly, dropping to the floor.

"No. It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong." Tony spoke as squatted down and held his hand out to Loki. "I just forgot that Pepper comes back today. It's nothing to worry about."

It actually was something to worry about but Tony wouldn't tell him that. He didn't know how Pepper would react to Loki being there. He couldn't imagine it would be well though. And it's not like he could just hide Loki in the bedroom the whole time she was home because he needed damn near constant attention. Tony didn't mind giving Loki attention, but he was worried about how Pepper would react and how it would affect Loki.

"Who's Pepper?" Loki asked, hesitantly taking Tony's hand.

Tony helped him to his feet and back onto the stool.

"She was my assistant. Now she runs my company. She's my girlfriend."

"Oh." Was all Loki said.

Tony had a girlfriend? Then why did he allow Loki to suck his dick? Had it been because he was drinking? Or did he not care about her? The men at his master's party's would fuck him in front of their wives though, so maybe that's just how normal relationships work. Loki had never been in a normal relationship. He'd only ever been ever been with his brother and that was far from normal.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked.

Loki nodded.

Tony grabbed some fruit out of the fridge, cut it up, and put it on a plate. He brought the plate over to Loki, figuring he'd just share with him.

"I'd cook, but I'm, uh, not very good at it."

"That's okay. I like strawberries." He spoke, his voice soft.

He picked up a piece of strawberry and took a bite out of it.

"Thank you."

Tony just smiled at him.

" _Sir, Mr. Rogers is at the door."_

Loki jumped and looked around the room, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

"It's okay. Relax."

"Who's that? There's no one here." Loki said, visible shaken.

"It's just Jarvis. Don't worry. I'll explain later. I'm gonna get the door. Go back in your room until I come get you." He said. He handed Loki the plate. "Eat."

Loki nodded and got up. He walked back towards the bedroom, watching Tony walk in the opposite direction.

Loki sat down on the floor in front of the door, waiting for Tony to come get him. He put the plate down in front of him but didn't touch it. He could hear talking and he tried his hardest to listen.

"We received reports of other-worldly magic in the area so I just came by to make sure things were okay."

"Oh yeah." He heard Tony say. "Yeah, Thor just stopped by for a few. Not really sure what he wanted though."

"Huh. Okay."

"Is that all? Cause uh, I was kinda working on something." Tony asked.

"Yeah. That's all I came for."

It sounded like they moved away. Loki couldn't hear anymore.

It was silent for a few more minutes before the door opened. Tony looked around the room, before looking down at Loki. "Oh. Why are you on the floor?"

Loki shrugged. "I like the floor."

Tony sat down next to him and took a piece of the apple that was on the plate.

"You need to eat. You're gonna make yourself sick."

"I'm fine. I'm not really hungry."

"Loki, you took like a bite of a strawberry. You have to eat."

"'m not hungry." He mumbled.

"Loki." He said, putting some authority behind his voice. He didn't want to scare Loki, but he needed Loki to eat. "Eat."

Loki looked down at the floor. "...Yes."

Loki slowly ate a few pieces of fruit, looking up at Tony. He wanted to make sure that Tony was happy with him. He didn't want to get hurt.

"You're doing fine." Tony told him, reaching over to push his hair out if his face. "Just eat as much as you can."

Loki ate a few more pieces before pushing the plate back towards Tony.

“You're done?"

"A-Am I allowed to be done?"

"I mean, I'd prefer if you'd eat a little more, but if you're full, then yes, you're allowed to be done."

"Would you be happy with me if I ate more?"

Tony carefully cupped Loki's chin, bringing his head up. "I'm happy as long as you eat. If you'd like to eat more, you may. If you're full, then you don't have to eat anymore."

Loki frowned. "But do you want me to eat more? I wanna make you happy."

"I am happy. Why wouldn't I be happy?"

"Because I'm stupid and can't eat and you want me to eat." He mumbled.

"You're not stupid. You just aren't used to being allowed to eat, and it's understandable if you can only eat a little at a time. But you need to eat so you can get stronger again."

Loki shook his head. "I am stupid."

"Why do you think you're stupid?"

"Because master calls me it all the time. Because I don't listen and I can't do anything right. I can't even eat right." He whispered, pulling his knees up to his chest.

Tony sighed. "Well, he's an asshole. He calls you that because he knows it hurts you. You're not stupid. You're doing perfectly fine."

Loki didn't respond. He just looked down at the floor.

"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?" Tony asked.

"Do you want me to?"

"If you want to. If you're comfortable with telling me how you feel, then we can talk about it. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

"I'll talk about it if you want me to."

Tony sighed, running his fingers through Loki's hair. "Tell me what's bothering you."

"I-I'm just thinking about stuff." Loki told him. Tony could tell that he didn't really want to talk about it. He only does it because he's too scared of saying no.

"What are you thinking about?"

"My dream." He whispered.

"What was your dream about?"

He was silent for a moment. "...The first few weeks I was there."

"And what happened during those first few weeks?" Tony didn't know if these questions would upset Loki, but he genuinely wanted to know. He was curious about what exactly had happened to Loki.

"Well, w-when I first woke up there, I was tied up, on his bed. I-I didn't know where I was or what was going on. I screamed, demanded he release me, for I was a prince and a god. He didn't listen. He raped me. I cried and I begged him to stop, but he still wouldn't listen. When he forced himself into my mouth, I..I bit him. He broke three of my ribs. I laid in that same spot on the bed for six days. I was scared. I didn't move, didn't talk, didn't cry. He was happy though. He got to use me as he wished." Loki whispered, never once looking up from the floor. "On the seventh day, I tried to fight back. That's when I found that he'd taken my magic from me. He easily overpowered me and-...he forced me to take him again. He beat me, first with his hands, then with a whip. He told me that if I ever tried to attack him again, he'd kill me. I attacked him again, ten days later. I wished for death. But when he saw how badly I craved death, he refused to kill me. He said he'd rather watch me suffer, knowing I'll never be able to die, to be free. Four days after that, I tried to kill myself. That was the first attempt of many. I failed. He punished me. After that, I-I began to break. Despite what I wanted, I obeyed him, trying to keep the pain and punishments to a minimum. It didn't work though. He always found reasons to punish me..."

When Loki trailed off, Tony assumed that he was done talking. He was crying, gripping his hair tightly in one hand.

Tony was shocked by what Loki had just said. He knew it was bad, but he didn't realize it was that bad. How could someone do that? How could someone be so brutal? And that was only the first couple weeks. He can't imagine how horrible the following five years were. It made what happened to him look like a walk in the park.

"Don't cry. You're safe now. I won't let him hurt you again." Tony said softly, placing his hand on Loki's. He jumped but relaxed again a moment later.

Loki shook his head. "Master says I'm prettier when I cry. He enjoys making me cry. My tears, my pain, they give him satisfaction..."

“Come here.” Tony said.

Loki crawled over to him but still wouldn’t meet his eyes. He pulled Loki into his lap and hugged him. Loki tensed, eventually wrapping his arms around Tony when he realized that there was no reason to be scared.

“There is nothing to be afraid of anymore. I promise. I will not let him hurt you again. And if he tries, I’ll kill him.” Tony told him. “I know it’s going to be hard for you, but I’m going to help you.”

“You promise?” Loki asked.

“Yes. I promise.”

Loki hugged Tony tighter, burying his face in Tony’s neck. “Thank you.”

Tony kissed the side of his head.

“Let me see that lock for a second.” Tony said.

Loki pulled his head back and tilted his head to the side. He showed Tony his collar.

He messed with it for a moment before holding out his hand. He waited until the metal surrounded his fingers before grabbing the lock and crushing it in his grasp. Tony dropped it on the floor and pulled the collar off of Loki’s neck.

“Better?” He asked. “Is the bracelet working?”

Loki nodded. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Loki climbed off of his lap and got on his hands and knees in front of him. He looked up at Tony, finally meeting his eyes. “C-can I-...I wanna...Thank you?”

“You don’t have to do that. It’s okay. You don’t need to thank me like that.”

“I want to.”

“Why?” Tony asked.

“B-because it makes me feel good. And it makes people happy with me....A-and it just feels weird to not do it everyday like I’m used to.”

Tony nodded. “You know you don’t have to do it to make me happy, right?”

“I-I know. But I want to. And y-you’re the only one who actually worried about how I felt...”

“Alright.” Tony told him. “I have some things I have to do, but when I get back, I’ll let you do that.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Only for a little while. I’ll be back in about an hour or two. Pepper shouldn’t be back until later tonight, so I’ll deal with that then.”

Loki frowned. “What do I do while you’re gone?”

“Whatever you want. Just don’t leave.” Told told him. “If you need anything, ask Jarvis.”

“Who’s that?”

“Jarvis an an AI—an Artificial Intelligence—he basically runs the house.”

Loki looked confused.

“Watch- Jarvis, turn on the lights.”

The lights switched on and Loki looked around. He seemed amazed. “It’s magic.”

“It’s science.”

Loki gave him a strange look.

“Why don’t you go take a shower? It’s relaxing. I’ll be back in a little while.”

“I don’t have any other clothes.”

“I probably have something that’ll fit you. I’ll put it in here before I leave. Okay?”

Loki nodded and slowly got to his feet. “Thank you.”

He reached over and ran his fingers through Loki’s hair. “You’re welcome.”

Tony left the room and Loki headed into the bathroom. He started the water, making it as hot as it would get.

He pulled his clothes off, stopping to look in the mirror. The bruises on his skin were mostly faded. His hair still needed some worn, but it wasn’t a mess like it usually was. There was no blood on his skin, and the bruises on his face were almost gone.There were still bandages on his wrists, and he honestly didn’t want to look underneath them. He couldn’t remember the last time he looked like this. He looked better.

He stepped into the shower, wincing when the water hit his skin. It was way too hot, but he didn’t mind it too much.

For the first time in years, he felt at peace. He felt safe. He liked Tony. Tony didn’t hurt him, didn’t yell at him, didn’t force him to do things he didn’t want to do. Tony made him feel safe. He didn’t know if his master would find him, and he hoped he wouldn’t, but he knew that if he did, Tony would protect him.

Loki was upset with Thor. Thor had left him behind. Tony had almost taken his place. Tony felt safe when Thor no longer did. Tony was there for him when Thor wasn’t. Tony saved his life when Thor was too busy to come. Yes, Thor had saved him from his master, but he was two years too late. Loki still didn’t know why he couldn’t remember anything. It scared him, but he tried not to think about it.

Loki quickly cleaned his body and hair before stepping out if the shower. He grabbed a towel from where it was hanging and wrapped it around himself. He walked out into the bedroom, seeing a pile of folded clothes on the bed. He walked over and picked them up. It was just a pair of gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt.

He pulled the clothes on and sat down on the bed, waiting for Tony.

“Jarvis?” Loki tried, not really sure if he was doing it right. “Is Tony coming back soon?”

“ _Mr. Stark should be back within the hour.”_

Loki just nodded.

He sat there for a while, not moving. He wanted to make Tony happy. He didn’t know what he should or shouldn’t do. Tony had only told him to take a shower. He hadn’t told him to do anything else.

“Tony? Are you home?” He heard someone call. It sounded like a woman.

Loki figured that it must be Pepper. Tony said she wasn’t supposed to be back until later tonight. Tony wasn’t here. Loki didn’t know if Tony wanted her to see him, so he stayed quiet and didn’t move.

“Tony?” He heard again. “Jarvis, where’s Tony?”

“ _He stepped out for a few. He should be back soon.”_

“Oh. Okay. Well, let him know I’m here.”

“ _Of course, Ms. Potts.”_

Loki heard footsteps coming closer. He had the sudden urge to sneeze. Of course, the only time he has to sneeze is when he needs to be quiet. He tried to hold it off as best he could, but eventually, it just came out.

He heard the footsteps stop, just past the door.

It was silent for a few. He didn’t hear her moving.

He started to get scared. She’d definitely heard him. Where was she? What was she doing?

All of a sudden the door opened and Loki froze.

She stood in the doorway, her eyes going wide when she saw him.

She didn’t say anything. She just pulled her phone out and dialed a number.

“Tony. You need to get back here. Now.”

She didn’t take her eyes off of Loki.

“I don’t care what you’re doing. Come home.”

She hung up the phone and put it back in here pocket.

“Why are you here? How did you even get in here?” She demanded, not moving from her spot.

Loki took a shaky breath, but didn’t answer her. Tony was going to be mad at him.

* * *

“Don’t freak out? Are kidding me, Tony? You’re telling me not to freak out when I come home to find the man who tried to kill all of us—who almost killed you— just sitting on the bed.”

“It’s okay, Pep. Just hear me out-“

“In what world is this _okay_? Why is he here? And why are you so...so calm about it?” She interrupted.

“Thor came here and asked me if Loki could stay here. He wasn’t safe in Asgard. He’s not the same as he was then. Believe me, I reacted the same way you are. I said no, absolutely not. I thought Thor had gone crazy. But then I saw him, how he acted, the way he talked...Something bad happened to him, Pep, and I agreed to let him stay.”

“Do the others know?”

“No. And I’d like to keep it that way.”

“I’m calling Steve.” She said. “Somethings not right here. He’s controlling you. I know you, and you wouldn’t just let a murderer stay here.”

“I’m not being controlled. He can’t even use magic anymore. I’m letting him stay because I feel bad and I want to help.“

She just shook her head.

Loki watched them argue with tears in his eyes. He didn’t mean to do this. He didn’t mean to cause an argument.

She took her phone out and Tony tried to grab it from her. She pushed him back and stormed out of the room.

Tony sighed and looked over at Loki.

“I-I’m sorry.” He finally said, rubbing his eyes. “I-I didn’t mean to. I sneezed and then she heard me and I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.”

Tony sat down next to him. “I’m not mad at you. It’s not your fault. I was going to have to tell her anyway. On the plus side, she took it better than I expected.”

“Please don’t make me leave.”

“I’m going to try my hardest to keep you here, but I can’t make any promises. If she tells Cap, the whole team is gonna show up, and they might try to take you away.”

Loki put his head down. He was scared. He didn’t want to be taken away from Tony.

“Steve is on his way. You’re lucky. He’s coming alone.” She said, coming back into the room.

Tony shook his head. “I really wish you’d listen to me.”

“I heard enough.”

“Pepper, sit down. Just for a minute. I know you won’t listen to me, so...Loki, tell her what happened, why you’re here.”

“If I don’t believe you, why would I believe him?”

Loki knew he had to tell her. It’s his fault they were fighting, and he wanted to fix it. He didn’t mean to do it.

“After New York, my fath- _Odin_ didn’t want me in Asgard. He sold me to the ruler of a far away planet no one had ever heard of. He made it look like I’d escaped, so no one would suspect anything. That man made me his slave. He-He raped me and tortured me and beat me...for five years. Thor came finally, and brought me home. But I wasn’t safe there. He overheard Odin speaking of sending me back, so he decided it was best to get me out of Asgard. He brought me here and asked that Tony allow me to stay here until it was safe for me to return.” Loki said softly. He hated talking about it, but he knew he had to. He didn’t mean to upset anyone.

She looked between the two of them. “And you believe that, Tony? Really?”

“ _Sir, Mr. Rogers has just arrived on the balcony.”_

“Great.”


	10. The End is Not The Answer

Loki held tightly onto Tony's arm as they headed towards the balcony. Tony was best to just show Steve instead of trying to explain it.

He walked through the doorway, raising his shield the moment he laid eyes on Loki.

"Tony...What is this?"

"Alright, the suit was unnecessary." Tony said, looking him up and down. "I'm protecting him. That's all."

"You're protecting him." He stated in disbelief. "He's a murderer-"

"He's a victim." Tony snapped. "Look at him. Does he look like the same person who attacked us? He's hurt, he's scared, he's not the same. Some stuff happened to him and Thor asked me if he could stay here because there was no other safe place for him."

"I was here this morning, after you'd said Thor had been here. He wasn't here."

"Yes, he was. He was in the bedroom. He's been here for two days."

"And you didn't think to tell anyone?"

"I chose not tell anyone because I knew this would happen!" Tony growled. "Look at him! He's terrified of you! He's thinks you're going to try to kill him!"

Loki tensed when he raised his voice, but didn't move away from Tony. He was scared. He didn't trust anyone else here.

"He's not staying." Steve said.

"This is my house. He stays if I say he does."

Steve let out an annoyed sound.

"Come with me." Tony said to him. "Give me five minutes. Let me explain this."

"Fine."

Tony started to walk, Steve following behind at a distance, still wary of Loki.

"I'm going to bring you back to the bedroom. Is that okay?"

Loki frowned, and looked up at Tony. He'd rather stay with him. He didn't to be alone.

"Alright. You can come with me."

Loki walked with Tony down to his workshop, aware of Steve's eyes on him. He moved so that he was holding onto Tony's hand and not his arm so they didn't fall down the stairs.

Once they were all inside, Tony closed the door and told Jarvis to lock it.

"I know you think I'm crazy." Tony stated.

"A little, yeah." Steve snapped.

Tony sighed. "Jarvis, play back the conversation I had with Thor the day he brought Loki here."

The screen before them lit up and it showed a recording of that day.

Steve watched the exchange, listening to Thor's words, and the way Tony reacted. He listened to the things Loki said as well, before the screen went dark.

Steve opened his mouth to speak but Tony cut him off. "Let me finish before you say anything."

Steve leaned against the table and stared at Tony expectantly.

"I told you about what happened to me in Afghanistan. You know how bad I was...What Loki went through was ten times worse. I...I don't want him to go through that alone because I know how it feels. Yes, I had Pepper, but I didn't tell her things. I tried to handle it alone and it only made things worse. I was completely against it at first, but then I saw how he behaved, I saw the fear in his eyes when he looked at me, when he started talking. I saw the way he reacted when he Thor grabbed his arm, and I knew something was wrong. I'm sorry if you don't like it, Cap, but I'm going to help him, and you're not going to stop me."

Steve sighed, glancing at Loki, and then back to Tony. "You're right. I can't stop you. I see now that he's not the same, but that doesn't mean he isn't dangerous. I don't think letting him stay is a good idea, but again, I can't stop you. But when he turns on you, don't say I didn't warn you."

"He's not dangerous. He can't use magic anymore. He's just scared and he needs help."

"If you say so."

Loki took a deep breath and spoke up. "F-for what it's worth, my attack on your city, it wasn't done willingly."

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I was controlled. They made me do it. It wasn't my choice."

"Who?" Tony asked.

"It doesn't matter."

"How did they make you do it?" Steve asked him, stepping toward him.

Loki took a step back. "Th-they got in my head, and weakened my mind, just enough to use the stone in the scepter to control me and my actions. I...apologize."

Steve motioned for Tony to come over. He let go of Loki's hand and walked over by Steve. Loki watched him, wondering if he did something wrong. Why did Tony leave him?

"Find out as much as you can about that." Steve said. "That could be very important."

Tony nodded. "I'll try but I'm not making any promises."

"I'll talk to Pepper."

"Please...And I ask you to keep this between us. I don't want anyone else finding out for now."

"Alright."

Steve left and headed back upstairs.

Tony walked back over to Loki. "That went better than I thought it would."

"Are you mad at me?" Loki asked.

"No, sweetheart, I'm not mad at you. You did well."

"So you're not going to punish me?"

"Of course not. I'd never hurt you."

Loki hugged him. "Thank you."

Tony brushed his fingers through Loki's hair, kissing the side of his head. "Come on. I gotta go talk to Pepper."

They headed upstairs. Steve had just left and Pepper was sitting on the couch. She turned to look at them as they came over.

"I'm sorry I freaked out." Pepper said. "I just panicked when I saw him and I automatically assumed he was controlling you."

"It's alright. I get it." Tony said.

"I'm sorry." Loki whispered.

She nodded. "It's okay. I just- I'm not going to stay here. I'm sorry, Tony, but I don't think I can sleep knowing he's here. I'm going to go stay with my parents.

Tony knew there was no point in arguing so he just nodded. It was probably for the best anyway. It would hard for him to balance working and taking care of Loki and being there for Pepper and trying to sleep. "I won't argue with you. If that's what you think is best..."

"It is."

She got up and went to go pack her things. When she was far enough away, Loki looked up at Tony.

"I'm sorry." He said again. "I-I'll leave. It's not fair for you to have to give up being with her because of me."

"It's not your fault, Loki. Pepper and I aren't doing well lately. She's been looking for an excuse to get away for a while now."

"It is my fault. I am the reason she is upset."

"No, she's upset with me and she's just using you as an excuse to leave. It's not your fault at all."

Loki didn't respond. He looked down at the floor.

They sat in silence for a while. Once Pepper had left, Tony spoke. "It's been a tough day, hasn't it?"

Loki didn't know how he should answer so he just shrugged.

"Would you like to watch a movie?" Tony asked. "I could order some food and we can just hang out here. I think we both need some time to relax."

"That...sounds nice..." Loki replied after a moment, trailing off at the end.

"But?"

"I-I don't believe I deserve that." Loki whispered.

"You do deserve it. You dealt with a lot today, and you did so well. You deserve some time to relax."

Loki was silent.

"Come here."

Loki moved closer to Tony but didn't say a word.

Tony pulled him onto his lap and hugged him. He rested his cheek against Loki's head, rubbing Loki's back softly.

"Why won't you punish me?" Loki asked suddenly.

Tony sighed. "Because you don't need to be punished. And because I'm not like that. Because you're safe here."

"But I deserve it..."

"You don't."

Loki took a deep breath. "Master would beat me for looking at him wrong. I made your girlfriend leave you and you won't even yell at me."

"Because you did nothing wrong. That's not your fault." Tony told him. "You can't blame yourself for everything."

"But my master blamed me for everything."

"Because he's a sadistic asshole. He liked hurting you. You did nothing to deserve what he did to you."

"I disobeyed him."

Tony didn't answer.

"Please punish me."

"Why?"

Loki seemed to think for a moment. "B-because it just feels wrong. I made a mistake. I messed up and I'm so used to being punished for the smallest mistakes, and it feels wrong that I'm not being punished for it. I-it scares me, because the only times master didn't punish me for a mistake was when he was wanted to really hurt me. He knew I anticipated it but would wait until I'd stopped expecting it."

Tony nodded. "I see...I'll tell you what, for now, just sit here and watch a movie with me, and if you really want me to punish you, I'll come up with something. Okay?"

"I-I do."

Loki didn't really want to be punished, but he knew he deserved it. He wanted Tony to be happy with him.

"Alright." Tony spoke. "Jarvis, order a pizza."

"Of course, sir."

Tony turned the TV on and put on a movie called "Die Hard." Loki didn't know what it was about, but he wasn't worried. He knew he probably wouldn't watch it. He was just happy to be held by Tony.

It was about a half hour later that the pizza arrived. Loki didn't actually know what pizza was, but it tasted good. He leaned against Tony as he ate, looking at the tv but not actually watching it.

The movie ended and Tony started another, and another after that.

By the time the third movie was over, it was dark out. Tony turned the tv off and stood up. Loki looked up at him, waiting for Tony to tell him to do something.

"Alright. Your punishment is...that you have to sleep in my bed tonight." Tony sighed. It was the best he could come up with. It wasn't much of a punishment, but he knew that it was different from the things that Loki was familiar with. And also because Tony could tell that Loki liked being held by him.

Loki tilted his head to the side, confused by Tony's words. "That's it?"

"Yes."

Loki just nodded. He assumed that Tony would fuck him or something, and that's what his actual punishment was, and Tony simply wasn't saying that part. "Is it time for bed?"

"I'm tired and I'm sure you are too, so yes, it's time for bed."

Tony didn't know that he'd be able to sleep, but he hoped he would.

He led Loki to his room and sat on the edge of the bed. He unbuttoned his dress shirt and pulled it off, grabbing a t-shirt from the drawer. Loki stood there awkwardly and watched, not really knowing what to do.

"You can lay down. It's okay."

Loki walked over to the bed and pulled his shirt and pants off while Tony was finishing changing. He assumed that Tony would prefer him naked so that he didn't have to be bothered with stripping Loki himself.

"What are you doing?"

Loki gave him a confused look. "I-I thought you'd want me naked to make it easier..."

"To make what easier?"

"You wish to use me, do you not?"

"What? No, Loki. I am not going to use you. I never said I was."

"Oh." Loki spoke. "So my punishment is to just sleep beside you? And actually, you said earlier that-"

"I know what I said earlier, but after the way today went, I think that can wait. And yes, your punishment is just to sleep here."

"Oh. I-I'm sorry, m- Tony. I shouldn't have assumed...Should I get dressed again then?"

"It's alright. I should've been more clear. At least put your pants back on, okay?" He sighed.

Loki nodded and picked his pants up off the floor. He pulled them on and laid beside Tony. Tony immediately pulled him close, telling Jarvis to turn the lights off.

"Is this okay?"

Loki nodded. "Yes. I-I like when you hold me."

"I know."

* * *

" _Stark, you hearing me? We have a missile headed straight for the city."_

_Tony groaned at this new development. Like they didn't already have their hands full with everything else that was happening? "How long?" he asked._

_"Three minutes, at best. Stay low and wipe out the missile."_

_"Jarvis, put everything we got into the thrusters."_

_"I just did." JARVIS replied immediately._

_Tony did his best to head straight for the incoming missile but the horde of invading aliens seemed to be doing their best to delay him. Growling in frustration he fought his way through them as fast as possible. Too slow, he told himself. You're going to fail. Everyone is going to die and it's going to be all you're fault. Again. Blasting another group of the invaders out of his way Tony redoubled his efforts to get to the missile. Suddenly Natasha's voice sounded through the speakers inside of his suit._

_"I can close it! Can anybody hear me? I can close the portal."_

_There was a brief pause and then, "Do it!" Steve answered._

_"No wait!" Tony shot back instantly._

_"Stark, these things are still coming!" Steve shouted back._

_"I got a nuke coming in, it's gonna blow in less than a minute....And I know just where to put it."_

_All of a sudden, he was falling. Tony couldn't breathe. He couldn't see. He heard Pepper's voice but he didn't know from where. He felt the rush of air as he got closer and closer to the ground._

He sat up fast, breathing heavy.

"Tony?"

He looked over with wide eyes. Loki sat there, looking as if he'd been crying. He had one hand on Tony's chest.

Tony was trying his hardest to regulate his breathing. Loki tried to touch him but he shoved Loki back and moved away from the bed. Loki got up and followed after Tony. He wanted to help. Loki wasn't sure what was wrong but he wanted to help.

This one was worse than usual. It was taking longer for him to get out if it. Loki tried to touch his arm again and he struck out with his hand. Loki made a sound, Tony knew he'd hit him, but he wasn't focused on it. He backed against the wall and slid down the wall.

After a few more minutes, Tony had finally managed to slow his breathing. He looked around the room, his eyes landing on Loki who sat against the wall on the other side of the room. It was dark and Tony couldn't see well, but it appeared that there was blood on Loki's face.

He hit Loki.

"Shit- Jarvis, turn on the lights."

The lights switched on and Tony rushed over to Loki. His nose was bleeding. He flinched when Tony put his hand on his knee.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked. "I'm so sorry, Loki. I didn't mean to hit you."

"Y-you said you wouldn't hurt me." He whispered.

"I know. And I won't ever do that again. That was an accident. When you touched me, it's like a reflex, I just hit and didn't think about who was there. I'm sorry."

Loki lifted his head from his knees. "What happened to you?"

"I had a nightmare and then a panic attack. I'm sorry. Come here, let me look at your nose."

Loki moved closer to him, watching Tony warily.

He let Tony touch his face, examining his bloody nose. "Alright, so it doesn't look broken. That's good. I'm sorry. Just, don't touch me when I'm like that. I don't want to hurt you."

Loki nodded. Tony pulled his shirt off and held it to Loki's nose.

"Keep this there. I'm gonna grab some ice."

"Stay. Please."

"If you don't put ice on that, it's going to leave a bruise."

"It's okay. I'm used to bruises." Loki said, leaning against Tony's side. Tony wrapped his arms around him.

He was suddenly aware of Loki's bare skin against his own. Loki was cold. Colder than he should be. Tony reached over and grabbed the blanket off the bed. He wrapped it around Loki's body, kissing his forehead.

"You scared me. I-I thought I did something. You were making noises in your sleep." Loki mumbled.

"I'm sorry. You didn't do anything. I just had a nightmare."

They sat in silence for a little while. Once Loki's nose stopped bleeding, he handed Tony his shirt back.

"I got blood on your shirt..."

"I know. That's okay." Tony spoke. "I think it's safe to assume that neither of us are going back to sleep?"

Loki nodded.

"Jarvis, what time is it?"

" _It's 4:26 am, sir._ "

"Breakfast?" Tony asked.

"Okay."

Tony helped him to his feet. "I got some stuff while I was out yesterday so now there's some actual food for breakfast."

Loki nodded and followed Tony to the kitchen. He kept the blanket around him, sitting down on a stool.

"Eggs, pancakes, waffles, or cereal?"

"Tony, I know what none of those are."

He sighed. "How bout I make everything and then you tell me what you like?"

"That sounds like a lot of work. You don't have to do it. I'll eat whatever you wish to make."

"I don't mind."

"You shouldn't have to do that. Just make what you want and I'll eat it." Loki told him.

"Fine." Tony sighed. "Are eggs okay?"

"If that's what you want, then I will eat it."

Tony started to take some things out of the fridge. He started to make something and Loki just watched. Tony made him happy. He felt safe here.

After about a half an hour of Tony messing around with stuff, he finally put the eggs in the pan. It was another half hour later that he set a rather burnt omelette in front of Loki.

"I can't guarantee it's going to be very good but uh, I tried."

Loki picked up the fork and took a bite. "It's actually quite good. I prefer overcooked food though, unlike many. It usually tastes better."

"You don't have to lie. It's awful, isn't it?"

"No, Tony, I'm not lying. I actually like it." Loki told him.

Tony kissed the side of his head. "Thank you. You're the only one who has ever liked my cooking."

"Well, I'm happy to simply be allowed to eat."

"You will always be allowed to eat."

Loki smiled.

"I mean that. I'm never going to withhold food from you. I'm never going not allow you to have things you might need." Tony told him. "Why don't you tell me everything you were not allowed to do?"

Loki nodded as he took another bite. "Well, I was rarely allowed to eat, as you know. He said I look better when I'm thin, and that I was too fat when I first arrived there. He seldom allowed me to be on the furniture, unless it was for his own benefit of course. And he didn't really let me sleep. I'd pass out often during punishments but that was the most rest I'd get. I was not allowed to shower without his permission. The only clothing I was allowed to wear was a pair of women's underwear and occasionally a bathrobe. I was rarely permitted to actually walk. I was either dragged behind him or forced to crawl. I was never allowed to say how I felt."

"What would happen if you did any of those things?"

"I'd be punished."

"I understand that, but how did he punish you? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm just curious."

Loki had managed to eat half of the omelette before deciding he was full and pushing the plate to Tony. "I don't mind. It actually makes me feel better to talk about it. For most things, he'd hurt me and then take me. On occasion, he'd force me to service him or preform in front of everyone at his parties. There was only one time I allowed myself to slip and say how I felt. He nearly killed me. He beat me, sewed my mouth shut, and beat me again."

Tony stared at him with wide eyes.

"What?"

"I want to kill him."

"As do I."

He brushed his fingers against Loki's lips. "He sewed your mouth shut?"

Loki nodded. "For two years."

"What?" He deadpanned.

"Yes. I also don't really have much recollection of the last two years. According to Thor and an Asgardian doctor, my memories have been taken—well more specifically, blocked out—by my master. And to fix it would be very painful."

Tony sighed. He didn't know what to say to that. He just hugged Loki. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that all of this happened to you. You don't deserve any of this."

"Thank you, Tony. For helping me." Loki turned his head to look at Tony. He leaned in slowly and kissed Tony on the cheek.

Tony smiled. "Of course."

Tony ended up finishing the omelette, looking over at Loki as he finished it.

"You actually liked that?"

Loki nodded. "Yes. It was good."

Tony laughed and stood up. He put the dish and the pan in the sink, running the water in them.

"Tony?"

"Mm?"

"Would I be allowed to take another shower?"

"Yes. Of course. You don't need to ask."

"Thank you." He said.

Loki stood up. Tony was making coffee.

"Tony?" He said again. 

"Yes?"

"I-I don't want to be alone..."

Tony looked over at him. "Would you like me to come with you?"

Loki nodded and looked down at the floor. Tony put his cup down and walked over to Loki. He ran his fingers through Loki's hair.

"I'll come with you, if you want."

Loki nodded again. "I do."

"Come on then."

The two headed back to Loki's room and went into the bathroom.

"Can I take a bath instead?" Loki asked softly.

"Yeah, of course."

Loki started the water, staring at the tub. He wasn't sure how to get it to fill up. Thankfully, Tony sensed his confusion before he spoke up.

Tony came over and fixed it. He glanced at Loki, somewhat confused by his sudden change in behavior.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked.

Loki didn't respond. He just watched the water fill up.

"Loki? Did you hear me?"

"Huh?" He said, looking over.

"I asked if you were okay?"

"Uh, y-yeah- Yes. I am fine."

"Are you sure? You can talk to me, you know."

"I know. I-I was just thinking. I apologize."

"You don't need to apologize. Do you want to talk about it?"

"N-not really. If that's okay with you."

"That's fine. I won't make you talk about anything you don't want to talk about."

Loki nodded and took his pants off. He stepped into the water and sat down.

Loki had been thinking about what would happen if Tony did decided to hurt him intentionally. So far, Tony had been nice and caring, but Loki was scared that he'd do something wrong and mess it up. He didn't want Tony to be angry with him. He wanted Tony to be happy. He had to do something to make sure Tony stayed happy with him. He trusted Tony and Tony made him feel safe, but he feared losing that safety. That's why he asked Tony to come in here. He didn't really care that Tony would be watching him bathe or see him naked because he was used to that kind of stuff. He asked Tony in here because he wanted him to be pleased and Loki figured that Tony would be pleased if he felt like Loki wanted him around. Loki did want Tony around though, but he thought this would make him happy. Tony had told him to put his clothes back on the night before when he'd taken them off, but he saw the way Tony looked at him. Loki knew the look Tony had tried to hide. He knew that Tony liked seeing him naked so he hoped this would make Tony happy.

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem upset."

Loki nodded. "I'm fine."

They sat in silence for a few. Loki stared at the water as it moved.

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"I-I want...um would you like- never mind."

"What is it?"

Loki looked down, not meeting Tony's eyes. "Nevermind."

Tony came over and sat on the edge of the tub. "What do you need?"

"Sit with me?"

"I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere." Tony told him, running his fingers through his hair.

Loki shook his head. "I know but like...with me. I-I want you to hold me."

"You want me to sit in the bath?" Tony asked.

Loki nodded. "Yes. I-If that's okay with you. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"It's okay with me, Loki, but I want to make sure you actually want me to do that. Do you actually want me to sit with you, or are you asking because you think that's what I want?"

"I do want you to do it. I want you to hold me. I-I like it."

"You're sure?"

Loki nodded.

Tony leaned over and kissed his head. He stood up and pulled his sweatpants off.

"Move forward a little."

Loki did as he was told, moving up so that Tony had space to get in behind him.

Tony stepped into the water and sat down behind Loki. Loki leaned back against his chest and looked up Tony.

"You sure you want me here? It doesn't make you uncomfortable?"

"I'm okay. I-I like this."

Loki was a little uncomfortable having Tony this close to his body, but he was okay. He felt safe with Tony. He knew Tony wasn't going to hurt him.

Tony wrapped his arms around him, resting his chin on the top of Loki's head. Loki relaxed into Tony's embrace.

He felt warm and comfortable when Tony held him. He hoped that Tony was pleased with him. He didn't want Tony to get mad.

"T-Tony?"

"Mm?"

"You know, I-I'll do anything you ask of me." Loki told him.

"I know. But I'm not going to ask you to do anything."

"Please do."

Tony looked down at him. "Why?"

"Because I want to." He whispered. "...I-I was trained to obey commands. Not having commands is just scaring me. It makes me unsure of what to do."

"Alright."

Tony kissed the top of his head.

"For now, I just want you to sit here with me."

Loki nodded, feeling a little bit better when he had an order to follow. "Yes, Tony."

Tony wasn't sure what was going on in Loki's head, but he was a little worried. Loki had seemed a little off since Tony had woken him up. But then Loki talked to him like it was no problem. And now he was back to being timid and scared. It confused Tony, but he wasn't going to say anything to Loki because he didn't want to worry him.

Tony felt Loki's hand on his thigh. "W-Will you allow me to please you?"

"Why?"

"I want to."

"Mhm. Why, Loki? That didn't sound very convincing."

"I want to. I really do."

"I get that you want to but why do you want to?"

"Because I want to please you. I want to help you." Loki whispered.

"What exactly do you want to do?"

"Whatever you'd have me do." Loki told him, putting his cheek to Tony's chest. He ran his fingers over the metal over his heart.

"I want to know what you want."

"I want whatever you wish me to do, m- Tony."

Tony sighed. "See, Loki, the fact that you almost called me master makes me want to not let you do anything. I don't want you to think of me as your master. I don't want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, just because you think you have to do it."

"I'm okay. I'm sorry. I'm just used to saying it and it slipped out. I want to please you. I know you're not my master. I just want to please you."

Tony looked down at him for a few moments. "I'll let you do it because I know it's what you're used to, but eventually we're going to actually have to talk about this."

"I understand."

Tony kissed the top of his head. "What would you like to do?"

"What would you have me do? I'll do anything you ask."

"Whatever you're comfortable with, Loki."

Loki turned around in the water so that he was facing Tony. "Tony, please. I need you to tell me what to do. I-I don't know how to just decide what to do."

"You did the other night."

"That was different. With the position I was in, I knew what was expected of me, and you said I could do it. But I don't know what you'd like me to do like this."

He sighed again. He figured he'd give Loki what he needed for now. "Alright. Come on, let's get out of here and dry off. Go in my room."

Loki nodded and stood up. He knew Tony was looking at his body but he didn't mind. He picked up a towel and wrapped it around himself. He waited for Tony to do the same before following him to his room.

As soon as they were inside, Tony shut the door and Loki dropped the towel. Tony raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"Should I not have done that?"

"I mean, I would have waited but if that's what you want to do, than that's fine."

Loki stood there and waited, watching as Tony took in his appearance.

Tony came over to him and Loki immediately dropped to his knees.

"No, no, come on, on the bed." Tony told him, holding his hand out to Loki.

Loki allowed Tony to help him up before going over to the bed.

Tony didn't really like this. He felt like he was talking advantage of Loki. Yes, Loki had asked him to do it, but he still felt wrong. Because Loki wasn't exactly in the right state of mind. He still thinks that he has to provide sexual release for those around him.

"Lay down."

"Do you wish to fuck me?" Loki asked.

"Would you like it if I fucked you?"

"I like whatever you give me."

“No. You don’t. You’re like, programmed to say that. I want you to tell me what you are and aren’t comfortable with.”

“I’m comfortable with anything, Tony. I promise. Just please, don’t tie me up or gag me.”

“I won’t do that. I want you to tell me what you want to do...That’s an order, Loki.”

Loki turned his head to the side, not looking at Tony.

“I-I liked what we did the last time.” Loki said. “But if you want to fuck me, I’d enjoy that as well...Please Tony, I don’t know how to make a decision like that. Please, just tell me what to do. I’ll do anything. I know you won’t hurt me. I trust you.”

Tony’s heart skipped a beat when Loki said that. He trusts him? “Alright. I-“

“Tony. Fuck me.” Loki spoke, before quickly adding: “If that’s okay with you.”

“If that’s what you want, then I’ll do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do y’all like, like this story? idk how i really feel about it


	11. Flashback

"Lay down for me, love."

Loki leaned back on the bed, trying to relax as Tony ran his hands over Loki's body. He placed small kisses on Loki's chest as he moved down.

Loki let out a shaky breathe, closing his eyes for a moment. This was okay. This was Tony. Tony was safe. Tony would not hurt him.

"Are you okay?"

Loki nodded. He realized that Tony probably couldn't see him though. "Yes."

"You don't sound too sure."

"I am fine, Tony. I assure you."

"Alright. I want you to tell me if it gets to be too much, got it?"

"Yes, Tony."

Tony rubbed small circles with his thumbs on Loki's thighs. He could feel how tense he was. "I won't hurt you. Relax. Do you want me to stop?"

"No." He said immediately. "It's just been a while is all."

He was nervous but he trusted Tony.

Loki tried to focus on his breathing as Tony came up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He reached over to the nightstand and Loki flinched. He quickly pulled his arm back and placed his hand on Loki's cheek.

"Please don't hurt me. I'm sorry." He whimpered, closing his eyes.

"Loki, I'm not going to hurt you. I promise. I just need to get something. I'm sorry I scared you."

Loki's mind flashed back to all of the times his master would grab something from the nightstand and use it to hurt him. That's where he'd pull gags and blindfolds from, and where he'd gotten cuffs from, and here the needle and twine had come out of.

He felt hands on him and he screamed. His master was going to punish him again.

"Please! I'm sorry, master! I'll be good!" He sobbed.

"Loki, calm down. I'm sorry. I didn't know that would scare you. Open your eyes. Please look at me."

He just cried out again and tried to move away from Tony. "I'm sorry!"

Tony held Loki still while he thrashed.

"Loki! Stop! Calm down!"

He tried to calm Loki down but it wasn't working. He was crying and yelling and squirming around, but he hadn't once opened his eyes.

"Loki, please. Listen to me. Do you hear my voice?"

Loki stopped his movements. He was breathing heavily but no longer thrashing. He gave a small nod, still not opening his eyes.

"Focus on my voice, okay?"

He nodded again.

"Just breathe. In and out. Nice and slow."

Loki tried to steady his breathing, taking a shallow, shaky breath.

"Good boy. Just breathe."

Loki relaxed slightly, releasing the sheets that he'd held in a death grip.

After a few minutes of helping Loki breathe, he finally seemed to have calmed down somewhat.

"You're doing so good. Can you open your eyes?"

Loki shook his head.

"Okay. That's okay. Do you know where you are?"

He shook his head again.

"You're in New York, Loki. Remember?"

Loki nodded after a moment.

"Do you know who I am?"

"M-master." He breathed.

"No. It's Tony."

"Tony." He whispered.

"Yes. It's Tony. I'm not going to hurt you. Can you open your eyes for me."

Loki didn't do anything for a few moments. He finally slowly forced his eyes open. He stared at Tony for a moment, eyes unfocused.

"Come on, babe. Come back to me."

After a few more minutes, he finally met Tony's eyes. Tony stared into Loki's big green eyes. He could see the tears threatening to spill at any second.

"There you are. You okay?"

Loki stared at him. "Uh huh."

"What happened?"

"I-I'm sorry. You didn't have to wait for me. Do whatever you want to me. I'm sorry."

"No. I'm doing anything. Not after that." He said, tucking a strand of Loki's hair behind his ear. "What happened?"

Loki seemed to think for a moment. "I'm fine. W-when you reached over, I just remembered something. That's all. I'm fine. Please, Tony, use me as you see fit. I'm sorry."

Tony shook his head, pulling Loki up so that he was sitting. "Not happening. I'm not touching you."

Loki's eyes went wide. "No! You have to! Please! Please, Tony!"

"Tell me what just happened and I'll think about it." Tony lied. He wasn't going to touch Loki after that.

"I-I saw you reaching for the nightstand. Master used to keep the things he used to punish me in his nightstand. I got scared. I'm sorry, Tony. I'm okay. Please..."

Tony shook his head. "No. I want you to relax. I'm not touching you. At all."

Loki got on his knees. He crying. "Tony please! I have to. Please sir! Please use me! I'm begging you!"

Tony was beyond confused. Loki's behavior had taken a full 180 in less that a half an hour. He didn't know what was wrong with Loki or why he insisted on being touched.

"No."

"Please! Please allow to to serve you. Please! I have to do it!"

"Loki!" He growled, deciding he might have to take a different approach, as much as he didn't want to. "I said no. If you argue with me again, I'll punish you."

Loki immediately closed his mouth.

He crawled over and put his head down. His forehead was pressed to Tony's thigh again, and his ass in the air. Tony realized that this wasn't just a weird way for Loki to sit, but a position meant to show that Loki is willing to submit to Tony.

"Pick your head up." Tony ordered.

Loki looked up at Tony but didn't meet his eyes. Tony placed his hand on Loki's cheek, rubbing slowly with his thumb.

"I want you to calm down. Tell me what's wrong. Just tell me, don't freak out or yell."

"P-please allow me to do something. Anything you ask, I'll do. But I have to do it. Please." He spoke softly.

"Why do you have to do it?"

"Because it's what I'm supposed to do."

"Yes, but you don't have to do that anymore."

"Please, sir. Please use my body as you see fit. I am alright. Please."

"Lay down."

Loki quickly did as he was told. Tony laid down beside him and pulled him close. He didn't even care that they were both naked. He just wanted to hold Loki.

"W-what are you doing?"

"You said to use your body as I saw fit. I want to hold you."

Loki was very much confused by Tony's actions, but there was nothing he could do. If this is what Tony wants, then this is what he gets.

"What's going on inside that pretty head of yours, hm? What are you thinking about?"

Loki looked up at Tony. "I-I'm sorry, Tony."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"For how I acted. I'm sorry I got scared and freaked out and then you couldn't fuck me. I understand if you wish to punish me."

"I told you it's perfectly fine. I'm not going to punish you. I understand why you get scared. I'm not mad and I'm not going to do anything."

Loki shook his head. "N-no. You have to punish me. Please. I did something wrong. Please, Tony."

"Fine. Your punishment is that you have to...Uh, sleep in my bed again."

"That's not much of a punishment. Don't you wish to hurt me?"

"No, Loki, I do not want to hurt you. I told you I'd never hurt you. Punishments don't have to hurt."

"They always do."

"Not anymore. Just lay down and try to go back to sleep. It's been a rough morning and it isn't even seven yet." Tony told him, getting up. "I'll be right back."

Tony went and pulled a pair of pants on and a t-shirt on. He didn't mind that Loki was naked, but he didn't want to make Loki uncomfortable with him being naked.

Tony laid back down and pulled Loki close to him. "Roll over."

Loki flipped over and faced Tony.

"You okay?"

Loki nodded.

Tony watched him for a few. "Give me a kiss."

Loki leaned up and pressed his lips to Tony's. Tony put a hand on the back of Loki's head.

He pulled back after a moment. Loki looked up at him.

Tony felt bad doing that. He knew that Loki would have kissed him whether he wanted to or not, simply because Tony had asked him to. He just wanted to kiss him. He liked the way Loki's lips felt but he wasn't going to do it again.

"Do you want to get dressed?" Tony asked.

Loki shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy."

"No, I'm asking if you want to put clothes on. Not if I want you to put clothes on."

"I'm okay like this, I guess." Loki told him, assuming Tony would prefer him like this.

"Alright. Go to sleep. You need it."

Loki nodded and closed his eyes. After a few minutes, he fell asleep against Tony's chest. Tony sighed and ran his fingers through Loki's hair. He wished he understood Loki. He has good moments and bad ones and Tony has seen firsthand how quickly he can change. When they were eating breakfast, Loki was fine, almost normal it seemed, but when he'd asked Tony to go in the bathroom with him, Tony noticed a slight change in how he was acting. He was more timid than he'd been only moments before. And then when they got in the bedroom, he was a completely different person. Tony had already been a little leery of touching Loki in any way before he'd suddenly freaked out, and it appeared that Loki got even more upset when Tony denied him. It was almost like he'd forgotten where he was and the events of the last few days, like in his minds eye, he was back with his master. Tony felt bad about talking to Loki the way he did, but he knew he wouldn't be able to get Loki to listen to him unless he acted like that. He knew he never should have agreed to get in the bath with Loki. He shouldn't have said yes when Loki asked if he'd touch him, and he definitely should have immediately backed out when Loki asked him to fuck him.

Tony knew he was handling this all wrong, but truth be told, he doesn't know how to handle it right. He was not the right person to come to with this. He could barely take care of himself, let alone someone with this much damage. Thor didn't give him any tips on taking care of Loki. He told him a few things not to do and that was it. He was flying blind here.

He looked over Loki's body. He could see the faded bruises that ran along his sides. They were healing, but they were still there. The cuts and burns were also healing, but Tony suspected they'd leave scars. The bruises on Loki's neck hadn't faded as much as the other ones though. They were still fairly dark. He ran his thumb over Loki's lips, seeing the faint puncture wounds surrounding them. Seeing what he did to Loki just pissed Tony off. He beat Loki bad enough to leave marks like that. He choked him hard enough to leave bruises that dark. He could only imagine the other things that happened to Loki. Loki only told him some of it.

Loki told Tony that he trusted him. Tony didn't know why. He hadn't done anything to warrant that. He hadn't done anything to earn Loki's trust. Tony decided that he'd make sure he never betrayed Loki's trust though. He'd protect Loki no matter what. He had to. This boy trusted him, and he'd make sure no one ever hurt him again. He had to.

_"Sir, Thor is here and wishes to speak with you."_

"Tell him I'm busy."

_"I tried that. I'm afraid he won't take no for an answer."_

Tony groaned. "Send him in."

_"Of course, sir."_

Tony realized right after he said that, that it was probably a bad idea. He should've just gone to meet him. He didn't want to have to explain why Loki was naked in his bed. He also didn't want Loki to freak out again if he woke up since he was already mad at Thor. He covered Loki with the blanket, sitting up on the bed, waiting for Thor.

"Tony." He greeted.

"Morning."

"How- What is he doing?" Thor asked, noticing Loki on the bed.

"He's sleeping. Leave him be. He needs it."

Thor looked at Tony, one eyebrow raised. "Why is he naked, Tony? What did you do?"

"Why do you assume I did something? He's naked because he refused to get dressed. I didn't _do_ anything to him."

Thor stepped over to Loki and shook him.

"He's going to freak out. He'd mad at you. And I just got him to go to sleep. Let him be."

"I want to talk to my brother."

"Whatever."

Loki rolled over with a groan, hiding his face in Tony's chest.

"Loki?" Thor said.

He was still asleep, holding onto Tony.

"C'mon, Loki. It's time to wake up." Tony told him.

Loki shook his head and whined, not moving from his spot.

"Yes. You have to wake up." Tony spoke. "Thor wants to talk to you. As soon as he's done you can go back to sleep."

He made a small sound and rolled onto his back. He looked up at Thor, frowning. He rubbed his eyes and stretched.

"How are you feeling?"

Loki didn't answer him. He just glared at his brother. "Go away."

"Don't be like that. I came to check on you."

"Go home."

"Are you okay?" He asked again.

Loki turned onto his side and hugged Tony. He didn't answer Thor. He didn't want him here. Thor had lied to him and had left him here. He wasn't mad he was here, he liked Tony, but he was still mad that Thor just abandoned him again.

"Loki, just answer him. The sooner you answer him, the sooner you can go back to sleep."

He groaned. "I'm fine. Go away."

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Tony, make him leave." Loki whined.

"I can't make him leave, sweetheart. Just talk to him." Tony said.

He turned back around again, glaring at Thor. "Yes, I'm fine; Yes, I feel better; Yes, I'm mad you; I really don't care what Odin is doing, so go home and leave me alone because I want to be with Tony. Thank you, I am going back to sleep."

Thor seemed shocked by Loki's words.

Loki flipped back over, climbed on top of Tony, and laid on his chest. Tony wrapped one arm around Loki, holding him in place.

"Call me if you need me." Thor said, leaving the room. It was obvious that he was surprised. He didn't even respond.

"You know, you were kinda mean to him." Tony said.

He looked down at Loki, seeing that he was already asleep again.

He rubbed Loki's back as he slept, pulling the blanket up over him. Tony didn't plan on going back to sleep himself, but he couldn't really go anywhere with Loki sleeping on top of him.

"Tony?"

He looked down. Apparently Loki was awake.

"Yes, love?"

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"I was mean." He mumbled.

"It's okay. You don't need to apologize." Tony told him. "Besides, you weren't mean to me."

"Oh. Okay."

Loki rested his head on Tony's chest. "Tony?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

He looked down at Loki. "What?"

"Should I not say that?"

"I mean, I don't mind you said it, but why?"

"Why what?"

"Why say it?" He asked.

"Because I love you."

Tony played with Loki's hair. "Do you know why you love me? You have to have a reason."

"Because you make me happy and you make me feel safe. And I like being around you. And you don't hurt me." Loki explained. "And for a human, you're quite attractive."

"Well, thank you, I guess. But are you sure you love me? I mean, you've only been with me for a few days."

"Yes. I love you."

"Alright."

Loki sat up, sitting on Tony's stomach. "Do you love me?"

Tony sighed. He wasn't sure he _loved_ Loki, but did feel a connection. He knew Loki needed love and affection right now though. He also knew that with Loki's current state of mind, it's easy for him to mistake something like feeling safe and happy for love because it's such a foreign feeling for him. "Yes, Loki, I love you too."

Loki smiled and hugged him. "Thank you."

Tony kissed the top of Loki's head.

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"What happens if my master comes for me?" He asked, sitting back up.

"I won't let him hurt you. I'll kill him."

Loki played with the edge of the blanket. "Please don't let him take me again."

"I won't. I promise."

"Can I get dressed?" He asked 

"Of course. You don't have to ask."

"Can you come with me?"

Tony nodded. "Sure, but you have to get off of me first."

"Oh yeah." Loki got off of him and stood up.

Tony got up and grabbed a shirt from his drawer. "Here. Wear this for now."

Loki took it and smiled. "Thank you."

He pulled it on and hugged Tony.

Apparently Loki is another completely different person now.

"What do you wanna do today?" Tony asked. "I have to try and get some work done but after that, the day is free."

"Whatever you want." Loki said, holding onto Tony's hand.

"Is there anything specific you'd like to do?"

"Whatever you want." He said again.

Tony sighed. "I don't care what we do. Is there something you'd like to do? There's no wrong answers."

Loki seemed to think for a moment. "Can we go for a walk? Like, outside? I haven't been outside in years."

"I mean, yeah, I guess we can, but you'll have to hide your face." Tony told him. "Give me two hours."

"I can do that." He said. "Thank you, Tony."

"Wait, you haven't been outside?"

Loki shook his head, moving to hug Tony's arm. "No. Master never let me go outside. If I went anywhere he didn't say I could go, he'd punish me."

"Jesus, Loki. I'm sorry." Tony said, kissing the top of his head. "You didn't deserve any of that."

Tony has kind of figured out that the way Loki acts is based heavily on how he sleeps. The other night when he had that dream, he was very scared and timid, almost like he'd been when he first got there. When Tony had woken him up and accidentally hit him, he was scared and jumpy. When he woke up just before, after sleeping peacefully, he was like this: calm and affectionate.

"Can I kiss you?" Loki asked.

"Huh?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah, come here."

Loki moved in front of Tony. He wrapped his arms around Loki's waist and pulled him close, pressing his lips to Loki's.

Loki made a small sound and leaned into the kiss. He opened his mouth, giving Tony complete control, but Tony pulled away as he did that.

"Alright. Go find something to do. I'll come get you in two hours and we can go for a walk."

Loki nodded. He wanted to go with Tony, but he assumed that Tony just wanted to be alone since he hadn't asked Loki if he wanted to come. Once Tony had left, Loki sat down on the bed. He twisted his bracelet around, looking down at the floor.

Loki's mind wandered the the events that had transpired that morning. Tony had woken him up when he had a nightmare, and then had accidentally hit him. It had scared him for a few, but he recognized that Tony didn't do it to harm him. Loki had startled him and he just hit blindly. Loki trusted Tony not hurt him on purpose. He deserved to be hurt though. As happy as he was that Tony refused to punish him, he knew he deserved punishments. He'd done so many things wrong since he'd got there and Tony wouldn't raise a hand to him. It all seems too good to be true. He spent five years in literal hell, and all of a sudden, he was free. A voice in the back of his head kept telling him that this was just his master playing a horrible trick on him. He didn't know if he should believe it.

He moved onto the floor, kneeling. He'd just wait here for Tony. He didn't deserve to sit on the bed. Loki remembered what happened just before he'd fallen asleep. He'd failed to please Tony. He had asked Tony to get in the bath with him, asked him to touch him, to fuck him, and then failed to do it. He got scared and had a panic attack. And then Tony refused to fuck him. He didn't know why. The state of Loki's mind had never mattered before. His master had fucked him and beat him through his panic attacks. He had never stopped to calm Loki down or see how he was doing. He just used them as excuse to punish him more. 

Loki played with the hem of his shirt-- Tony's shirt actually. He liked Tony's shirt. It smelled like him. He loved Tony, actually. Tony never hurt him, he was always careful, he never yelled at him or hit him. Loki used to love Thor but he wasn't sure that he did anymore. Thor had left him behind to go be with Odin. Tony had never left Loki behind. He was always there was Loki needed him. 

His hand moved back to playing with the bracelet. He examined the runes on it. They were exactly as they were on the collar. It was perfect. Tony was right, it was much less humiliating than the collar. It was elegant and simple. 

Loki stared at it for a moment before pulling it off. He wanted to know if his magic would still attack him. He sat there for a moment, seeing if he would feel anything. He reached for his magic, attempting to use it for something simple, just to create something small. It didn't work. Nothing happened.

All of a sudden, he felt a sharp, blinding pain in his head. His vision flashed white and he fell forward. He'd dropped the bracelet in his fall, grabbing for it blindly. The pain was just getting worse and worse by the second. 

He finally found the bracelet but didn't put it back on yet. He had to try to analyze his magic, to figure out why exactly it was rejecting him. He's felt worse pain so he could handle this. He had to. 

He couldn't figure out why it was attacking his head now and not his heart like it had been. Magic is almost like a living thing. It has a mind of its own, and if it's trying to hurt Loki, it has to have a reason. Loki has been its host his entire life, so why is it rejecting him all of a sudden? 

He was careful not to make any noise as his magic attacked his brain. He didn't want any attention right now. He reached for it, trying to understand. And it told him. The magic wasn't rejecting him. It was rejecting the foreign magic that had been implanted in his head. He couldn't remember the last two years and he wasn't sure why. Thor had said he was going to find out more, but never actually explained it past telling him there was something blocking his memories. He could feel it now. There was a presence in his mind, a magic that was not his own. He had a feeling that that was why he couldn't remember anything. It had attacked his heart the first time because it couldn't find the other magic. Now that it knows where it is, it's trying to destroy it, to expel it from Loki's body. If he just let his magic do its thing, he'd be able to remember.

Loki forced the bracelet back on his wrist. Not yet. He had to tell Tony first. Loki sat back up, panting softly. His head was pounding. He wanted to tell Tony but he didn't want to bother him while he was working. He didn't know if Tony would get mad. He'd sit there and wait until Tony came to get him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long. life's been wack.


	12. Levitate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long. i’m in cosmo school and it just reopened and it’s been a crazy week

"Loki? You in here?"

Loki looked up at Tony as he walked through the door.

"Oh. What are you doin on the floor?"

"I was waiting for you." Loki told him, looking up.

"You didn't have to sit on the floor. You could have done anything you wanted." Tony spoke, holding a hand out to Loki.

Loki let Tony pull him to his feet and into his arms. "I wanted to wait for you."

"Alright." He sighed. "You ready to go for a walk?"

Loki nodded, hugging Tony. "Yes, please."

"Come on, lets get you dressed then."

Tony brought Loki over to his closet and found a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. He handed Loki the pants and he pulled them on.

He handed Loki the sweatshirt, and he just held it, confused. He wasn't sure how to put it on. "Help."

Tony laughed and took it from him. "Arms up."

Loki did as he was told and Tony helped Loki get the garment on. Once it was on, Tony pulled the hood up.

"There."

"Thank you." Loki smiled, playing with the strings on the hoodie.

"Of course." Tony replied, kissing him softly.

"Tony, I have to tell you something."

"What's up?"

"I figured out why my magic is hurting me. It told me." Loki said.

"Why is it hurting you? And it told you? How?"

"Magic, well, it's almost like a living thing. It exists in my body and I control it, but it has a mind of it's own. I tried to reach for it, to understand it, and it told me that it's not attacking me. It's attacking a foreign magic that was put inside of me." Loki explained. "I told you, I have no memory of the last two years. Whatever this other presence is, is why I can't remember. If I were to allow my magic to attack it, it would destroy it, and I would be able to remember. I need to speak with my mother. Can you ask Thor to come here?"

Tony nodded slowly. "That sounds dangerous. But yeah, I can ask him."

"It is."

"Why don't we go for a walk and then call him when we get back?"

Loki nodded.

Tony got dressed and took Loki's hand.

He vaguely recalled Thor saying at one point that their mother had died, but he didn't bring it up to Loki. He assumed Loki didn't know and he was not going to be the one to tell him. He didn't really like the idea of Loki letting his magic hurt him but he wasn't going to try and control Loki. If he wanted to do that so he could remember, then Tony would not stop him.

Tony found a pair of sneakers that would fit Loki and helped him put them on.

They got in the elevator and headed down. Tony turned to Loki and fixed the hood so it somewhat hung over his face. He didn't want anyone to recognize Loki.

Tony honestly didn't think Loki would be okay going for a walk. He didn't think Loki would be able to handle the amount of people that are out there. Loki told him that he'd been forced to preform— whatever that means, he wasn't sure he wanted to know— in front of crowds at parties, and he had a feeling that Loki would be reminded of that.

The elevator reached the bottom floor and he took Loki's hand again as they stepped out. They walked out the door and onto the street. Tony felt Loki tense when they got out. He was watching all the people walk past.

Tony tried to walk forward but Loki didn't move. He stepped in front of Loki and touched his cheek. "Hey. You okay?"

Loki stared at him with wide eyes. "Y-yes."

"Do you still want to walk? We can go back in if you want."

Loki shook his head. "I wanna walk."

Loki held onto Tony's arm tightly as they slowly walked down the sidewalk. Loki didn't expect there to be this many people here.

Tony could tell that he was scared.

Loki could feel all of the eyes on him. Everyone was watching him. They were expecting him to do something. He didn't know what. Suddenly Loki stopped walking. Tony stopped and looked over at him. He was shaking and his breathing was heavy.

Tony managed to lead him over to a small alley, blocking his sight of the people around him. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Th-there's so many people here. I-I didn't- I didn't think- I can't. Tony, I want to go back. Please take me back. Please." Loki whimpered, falling against his chest. "Please. I love you. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad. I'm sorry. Please."

"It's okay. I'm not mad. I kind of figured this would happen. That's why I didn't take you far. It's okay. I love you too. Just breathe. Calm yourself down and then we can go back." Tony spoke softly, wrapping his arms around Loki. He buried his face in Tony's chest, trying to steady his breathing.

"I-I'm sorry." Loki whispered.

"It's okay. I promise. You don't need to be sorry. Are you ready to go back?"

After a few minutes, Loki nodded. "Yes. Please. I want to go back."

"Alright. We can go. Come on." Tony held his hand out to Loki and he took it, holding onto him tightly. "You can close your eyes if you want. I'm here."

Loki nodded and closed his eyes. He kept his head down and allowed Tony to lead him back down the street and to the tower. Loki didn't really like walking with his eyes closed, he was afraid he'd fall, but he knew Tony wouldn't let him. There was a few times where his master made him wear a blindfold for a long period of time and would just laugh when he'd fall or trip over something. This wasn't like that though. Loki could open his eyes if he wanted and Tony wouldn't let him get hurt.

Once they were inside the building, Tony stopped. "You can open your eyes now. There's no one around."

Loki lifted his head and opened his eyes, hugging Tony. Tony walked him back towards the elevator, wrapping his arms around Loki once they were inside and the doors had closed.

"It's okay." Tony told him. "I promise. No one is going to hurt you."

"I'm sorry." He whispered, meeting Tony's eyes.

Tony gave him a soft smile and brushed his hair out of his face. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

Loki didn't answer.

They reached Tony's floor and exited the elevator. Tony walked Loki into the kitchen and sat him down on one of the stools. "Are you hungry?"

"A little." Loki mumbled.

"What would you like?"

"Whatever you want."

Tony sighed. He grabbed a glass and filled it with whiskey, sitting down next to Loki. "I want you to tell me what you want. I'm not hungry."

"What's that?" Loki asked, pointing at the glass in Tony's hand.

"It's whiskey." He told him. Loki tilted his head to the side. "It's a type of liquor. Do you want some?"

Loki give a small nod. He'd never had that type before. He used to drink wine a lot when he was in Asgard, before everything, but he never had this.

Tony offered Loki his glass and Loki took it carefully. He raised it up and smelled it. It smelled good, kind of earthy and kind of sweet. He took a sip and immediately handed the glass back to Tony. It was horrible.

"You don't like it?"

Loki shook his head. "No. It's bitter. And it like, burns."

"Yeah, it's an acquired taste."

Loki watched Tony drink it. He didn't know how he drank it.

"Can I have strawberries?" Loki asked.

Tony nodded. "Of course."

He got up and went over to the fridge. He took the pack out, cut them up, and put them in a bowl for Loki. He handed him the bowl and sat back down next to him.

Loki started to eat slowly while Tony filled up his glass again. "Do you like strawberries?"

Loki nodded.

"I'll have to make sure I get more then."

"Thank you."

Tony kissed his head and stood up. "I'm going to go in the living room, okay?"

Loki nodded.

He wanted to ask Tony to call Thor but he wasn't in the mood to see his brother. He could do it himself but he didn't want to. He didn't want to talk to Thor. He was still upset with him. But he knew the only way he'd be able to speak with his mother is if he spoke to Thor. He couldn't ask Tony to explain it because Tony didn't understand his magic like he did. He wouldn't be able to explain it well enough.

He thought back to all the times he spent with his brother. His brother used to feel like his only safe place, but he no longer does. He never thought anyone else would make him feel safe like that, but Tony does. Loki was angry with Thor. Thor had left him behind and let him be tortured for two years. He didn't even remember those two years. But Thor had left him. He left him here with Tony so that he could go help Odin. He didn't mind being with Tony, he loved Tony, but he was angry that Thor had just left him here.

He missed the way Thor made him feel though. Thor made him happy. Tony makes him feel almost the same way. He felt like Thor loved and protected him. Tony clearly wants to protect Loki, but Loki doesn't necessarily feel like Tony loves him like Thor did. Tony says he loves Loki, but Loki is fairly sure he only says it because he thinks it's what Loki wants to hear.

After finishing about half of the strawberries, he pushed the bowl away. He got up and headed into the living room. Tony was on the couch, watching something on the tv. Loki sat down next to him. He pulled his knees up and leaned against Tony, nuzzling his face into Tony's side. Tony wrapped an arm around him, pulling him a little closer.

"You done?"

Loki nodded.

"Good boy." Tony spoke, leaning over the kiss the top of Loki's head.

They sat in silence for a while. Tony watched his thing and Loki watched Tony. He found Tony much more interesting than the tv.

Tony was safe. Tony made him happy. Tony wouldn't hurt him. Tony was warm and he smelled nice. He was careful and never raised his voice at Loki. He was gentle when he touched him. He didn't force Loki to do anything. Loki had forgotten what this felt like. He missed it and was happy he had it back.

"Tony?"

"Hm?" He looked down at Loki.

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you, Loki."

"Do you really?" He asked.

Tony was quiet for a moment before nodding. "Yes."

"Why?"

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Why what?"

"Why do you love me? No one else does."

Tony brushed his fingers through Loki's hair. "Because you're amazing, and beautiful, and sweet, and because you're so, so strong. You went through something that would destroy anyone else and you're still standing. You need help and I want to help. And because you deserve to be loved and cared for."

Loki smiled and hugged Tony. Maybe Tony did actually love him and he was wrong. He wasn't sure why Tony thought he was beautiful or anything. He wasn't. And he didn't deserve love either, but for some reason Tony thought he did.

"I'm not beautiful or sweet or amazing or anything but thank you." Loki mumbled.

"Yes, you are. You are absolutely beautiful. You are absolutely sweet. And you are absolutely amazing."

"How? Master says I'm only pretty when I cry. Or when I'm bleeding."

He shut the tv off, turning to Loki. He cupped his cheek, running his thumb over the soft skin. "Well, to start, you have the prettiest green eyes. I love the way they sparkle when the light hits them. And your hair is so soft and you look even more adorable when it's all messy like it is now. I've never kissed anyone with lips as soft as yours. You're perfect, Loki...absolutely gorgeous. I love you."

"You didn't any anything about my body...that's the only thing people usually like about me..."

"Because I like more then just your body. Yes, you look nice, but your body isn't the reason I think you're beautiful."

Loki smiled. "You're the only one who likes more than my body."

"You aren't a sex toy anymore, Loki. No one is going to want you for just your body anymore."

Loki looked up at him for a moment before sliding off the couch and getting to his knees in front of Tony.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked, messing with Loki's hair.

He rested his cheek on Tony's inner thigh, looking up at him. "...Love you."

"I love you too, Loki, but what are you doing?"

"Showing you." He mumbled, reaching for the button on Tony's jeans.

Tony grabbed his wrist. "I know you love me. You've shown me enough. You don't have to do this."

"I want to though. Please, Tony?"

Tony stared at him for a moment, running his fingers through Loki's hair. He leaned down and kissed Loki softly.

"Alright. You can."

Loki smiled and unbuttoned Tony's jeans. He pushed them down a little and pulled Tony out. He stroked him slowly, meeting his eyes as he did so. Loki didn't break eye contact as he swirled his tongue around the tip and sucked on it softly.

Tony groaned, placing his hand on the back of Loki's head. Loki stroked the base as he worked on the head.

"I'll do anything you ask of me, Tony." He breathed, pulling off for a moment.

"I know you will, babe. But right now I just want you to keep going." He groaned.

Loki nodded and took him a little deeper. He bobbed his head, hollowing his cheeks around Tony. Loki pulled off and dragged his tongue up the underside.

All of a sudden, he took Tony all the way down and swallowed around him. Tony let out a loud groan and accidentally tightened his grip on Loki's hair.

Loki held still, the hair at the base brushing against his nose. He half expected Tony to start fucking his throat but he didn't. He waited for Loki to move. Loki lifted his head slightly, not sure if Tony would push him back down. When he didn't, Loki began to bob his head again.

"Shit, you're so good at this."

Loki hummed around him, sucking a little harder. He pulled back and began to stroke Tony. He opened his mouth wide and stuck his tongue out.

Tony stared down at him, watching him closely. Tony let out a low groan. "Shit, I'm gonna cum."

Loki stroked him a little faster, waiting for him to finish.

He came across Loki's tongue and cheek. Loki swallowed what he could, looking up at Tony.

Tony smiled down at him, running his fingers through Loki's hair. He wiped his cum off of Loki's cheek with his thumb and brought it to Loki's lips. Loki took his thumb into his mouth and cleaned the cum off of it.

Tony pulled his hand back and leaned down. He pressed his lips to Loki's, pulling him up into his lap.

"Can I touch you?" He whispered against Loki's lips.

Loki nodded. He still felt a little strange having it feel good, but he knew that Tony would not hurt him. He loved Tony.

"Tell me if it's too much, okay?"

Loki nodded as Tony pulled his pants down a little. His pushed his hand inside and wrapped his fingers around Loki. He let out a shaky breath and hid his face in Tony's neck.

Tony stroked him slowly, causing him release breathy moans and whimpers. Loki had his eyes shut tight.

He liked it. It felt good.

Tony let go of him for a moment and grasped the waist band on Loki's sweatpants. "Can I take these off?"

Loki nodded.

"Alright. Lift up for me."

Loki raised his hips just enough for Tony to push them down his legs. Tony began to stroke him again. He whined and jerked his hips.

"Do you like it?"

Loki nodded. "Y-yes, Tony."

Tony slowed his hand down and moved his other hand around Loki's back. He placed his hand on Loki's ass and Tony felt him tense. "Is this okay?"

"Y-yes."

"Are you sure?"

Loki nodded, letting out a shaky whimper. "Yes."

Loki knew that Tony wouldn't hurt him or make him do anything he didn't want to do. He knew he was safe here. Tony always made sure Loki was okay.

"I love you." Loki breathed, placing a small kiss on Tony's neck.

"I love you too."

He moved his hand faster and Loki let out a loud moan. "M-more, please. I-It feels good."

"What do you want me to do, babe?"

"Anything." He breathed.

"You gotta tell me what you want. I don't want to do anything you won't like."

Loki jerked his hips up in Tony's grasp. "I-I don't- please. I'll like a-anything. Please."

Tony sighed, stopping his movements so Loki would calm down a little. "Where can I touch you?"

"Anywhere."

"Tell me what you want." He spoke, kissing the side of Loki's head.

"I want this." He whimpered, lifting his hips up slightly. "I-I like it, Tony, please don't stop."

"I won't."

Tony continued to stroke Loki. Loki held onto Tony tightly, overwhelmed by the pleasure.

"I-I...." He trailed off, releasing over Tony's hand.

Tony kissed the side of his head. "You did so well. You're so good, babe."

Loki didn't say anything as he picked up Tony's hand. He licked his seed from Tony's fingers, keeping his head down.

"You didn't have to do that. I could have just gotten a towel."

"I made a mess." Loki said simply. "So I cleaned it like I'm supposed to."

"I still could have just grabbed a towel."

"I'm supposed to clean up. Master always makes me clean it up if I get blood or something on anything. I figured this would be the same."

Tony raised an eyebrow. Loki had licked his hand clean. Did that mean- "How did he have you clean it, Loki?"

Loki looked down at the floor. "With my mouth."

"I'm going to kill him." Tony growled, eyes going wide. "You don't deserve that. That's just wrong..."

Loki didn't say anything. Tony hugged him, brushing his fingers through his hair.

"I don't know about you, but I'm tired." Tony said.

Loki nodded. "I am as well."

"Do you want to go to bed?" He asked. "It's still a little early, but we were up really early."

Loki nodded.

Tony took his hand and led Loki to his own bedroom. Tony assumed that Loki would want to sleep alone. He pulled back to covers on the bed and turned to Loki. He helped him pull the hoodie and sweatpants off so that he only wore Tony's shirt and a pair of boxers.

Tony patted the bed and Loki laid down. Tony pulled the blanket over him and kissed the top of his head. "Go to sleep, okay?"

Loki nodded. "I-I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. Sleep well."

Tony left the room and closed the door behind him. Loki laid there for a while once Tony had left. Why had Tony made him sleep in here by himself? He wanted to sleep with Tony. Did Tony not want Loki in his bed? Was Tony mad at him? Did he not please Tony well enough? Loki closed his eyes tightly. Why was Tony upset with him?

He decided that he’d have to ask Tony in the morning when he came to get him. If Tony wished for him to sleep here, then he would. He wanted to make Tony happy.

Loki rolled onto his side, pulling the blankets tight around his body.

Something told him it wasn’t going to be a good night.


	13. Against the Wall

" _I demand you unchain me this instant! I am Loki of Asgard! I am a prince and you have no right to treat me this way!”_

_"Do you ever shut up?"_

_Loki quickly turned his head to look at who was talking. A man stood in the doorway, watching him. He had his arms crossed over his chest, and an eyebrow raised. Loki did not know this man. He had never seen him before. He wore gold, blue and red robes, his hair was gray, and he had blue paint on his face._

_"Who are you? Where is this?" Loki questioned, pulling roughly at the chains that bound his wrists._

_"I am the Grandmaster, and this, my dear, is Sakaar."_

_"I know not who you are. I know not of this Sakaar. Why do you hold me here?"_

_He smirked, letting out a laugh that sent chills down Loki's spine. "You belong to me. I own you, boy. You're to be my slave."_

_"What?" He spoke, his eyes wide with disbelief. "If you think I will simply submit and become your slave, you are sorely mistaken. I am a god. You have no idea what I can do to you. I demand you release me."_

_"You're cute. You think I care that you're a god, a prince. I don't. Whatever you are— whatever you_ were _— matters little to me. You are my slave. You belong to me. You are mine to do with as I wish, and if you chose to disobey me, I will make your life a living hell."_

_He stepped closer to Loki. Loki tried to move back but the chains stopped him. "Don't you dare come near me!"_

_He closed the distance between them and roughy grabbed Loki by his hair. He shoved him down on the bed, climbing on top of him and straddling his hips. Loki grunted and kicked but it didn't do him any good. The Grandmaster held him down and he was unable to get away._

_"What are you doing?"_

_"Stop fucking fighting me."_

_"Get off of me!"_

_He grabbed a knife off of the nightstand and placed it at Loki's throat. Loki stilled. "Shut up and stay still. Disobey me and I will make you will beg for mercy."_

_"I won't obey you." Loki growled. "And I don't beg."_

_"You will."_

_Loki spit in his face. He raised his hand, swinging as hard as he could. The back of his hand came in contact with Loki's cheek, stunning him just long enough for The Grandmaster to begin to cut his clothing from his body._

_When Loki came back to his senses, he screamed and thrashed. Loki didn't know what he was doing. He wouldn't be a slave though. He cried out when the knife cut into his stomach as it passed through the leather. He kicked and squirmed, trying to throw this man off of him. He tore the pieces of Loki's shirt from his body and tossed them across the room. He ran his hands up Loki's chest and stomach, stopping to toy with his nipples. Loki knew now where this was going. He was chained to a bed, his clothing being cut away, this man touching his body._

_"Let me go! You will not do this to me!"_

_"I believe you're having a hard time understanding, kitten. You belong to me. I will do as I please. Your body, as well as your mind, are my property."_

_"No!" Loki cried as he grasped the edge of Loki's tight pants. He dragged the blade down the seam, splitting them open so he could pull them away easily. Loki kicked, causing the knife to break his skin in multiple spots._

_Loki now laid bare before him. He had gotten off of Loki and was just staring at him from where he stood. "Oh, you're pretty..."_

_"A macska rúgjon meg." Loki spat._

_The Grandmaster raised an eyebrow. "On the contrary, it will be I who fucks you, sweetheart."_

_Loki's eyes went wide. How did he know what he said? It was Asgardian. No one knows Asgardian except those from Asgard._

_He suddenly grabbed Loki by his throat, forcing a small cry to leave his lips. He held Loki still with one hand as he used his other to push his own pants down. He got on top of Loki again, moving his hand to Loki's hair._

_"Open your mouth."_

_Loki kept his mouth shut tight. He would not allow this. He was Loki of Asgard. He was a prince. He could not do this._

_He grabbed Loki's jaw and dug his fingers in, trying to force his lips apart._

_Loki fought and struggled. He thrashed and kicked and tried with all his strength to break the chains that held him. The Grandmaster dug his nails into Loki's cheeks. Loki cried out in pain and The Grandmaster took that chance to hook two fingers in Loki's mouth and pry it open._

_Loki bit down on his fingers as hard as he could. Loki tasted blood as he pulled his hand away. He backhanded Loki again and shoved him off the bed. He couldn't move from this position. He was stuck. His hands were chained to the headboard, so he was kind of just hanging there._

_All of a sudden, a sharp pain shot up his side. Loki screamed. Another kick came and then another and another, one after the other until Loki couldn't even cry out anymore. He couldn't move. Every time he tried, the pain radiated through his entire body. He was panting heavily. He managed to look behind him at The Grandmaster. He grabbed Loki by his hair and dragged him back onto the bed, shoving his face into the pillows. His arms were twisted at an uncomfortable angle. He pulled Loki's ass up, pulling his hand back and smacking Loki's ass._

_Loki whimpered, trying to pull away. Everything ached. His head was pounding. There were tears in his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He couldn't give in. He would not be a slave. He would not allow this to happen._

_He moved his hands up and down Loki's sides before finally grabbing his ass._

_"D-Don't you dare." Loki managed._

_"Shut up."_

_Loki felt him spread his cheeks. He felt a weight against his hole. He knew what was coming and he couldn't stop it._

_"Are you a virgin?"_

_Loki refused to answer._

_"Are- you- a- virgin?" He asked, accentuating every word with a harsh slap to his ass._

_"Fuck you."_

_"You're already in pain. I'll make it worse. Answer the question."_

_"No." Loki growled._

_"I'm going to count to five. If I don't have an answer by the time I'm done, I'm going to hurt you so bad that you'll be begging me to just kill you."_

_Loki didn't open his mouth. He wouldn't answer. He didn't have to. Whether he was a virgin or not was not this man's concern._

_"One."_

_"Why does it matter?" Loki asked._

_"Two."_

_“You're going to rape me whether I am a virgin or not. Nothing will change that."_

_"Three."_

_Loki bit his lip. He really didn't want to hurt anymore._

_"Four."_

_"No." Loki sighed. "I am not a virgin."_

_"Hm. That's unfortunate. Virgins are always much more fun." He mused, digging his fingers Loki's ass. "That's alright. You're feisty enough as it is."_

_Loki tried to jerk his body away but the grip on him was too tight._

_"I don't I've ever had a slave fight me like you. I think I'm going to enjoy breaking your spirit, little one."_

_All of a sudden, he forced his way inside of Loki, eliciting an agonized scream. He many not be a virgin but he was no longer accustomed to taking anything. It'd been at least a year since he'd last been with his brother._

_He didn't even give Loki a chance to adjust. He moved at a brutal pace. Loki finally let the tears fall. He could no longer hold them back. Every thrust into his body forced another cry from his lips. His thighs felt wet and he knew it was blood._

_"There's no way you're not a virgin. You're too fucking tight. Holy shit."_

_Loki screamed in pain as The Grandmaster raked his nails down his back._

_"Stop! No more!" Loki cried. "Stop it!"_

_"Shut up, slut."_

_"Please! Stop! I beg you! It hurts! Please!"_

_He laughed. "I told you you'd beg."_

_Loki screamed._

_"Call me master. If you want it to end, you'll beg for it."_

_"No."_

_He thrust in harder, burying himself deep inside of Loki. Tears fell freely at this point. He'd never felt pain like this before._

_"If you want it to stop, you'll obey."_

_Loki didn't speak._

_"I guess you're enjoying this then?" He asked, grabbing a fistful of Loki's hair and yanked it. He whined in pain. "I knew from the moment I saw you that you're a little whore."_

_Loki took a deep breath and swallowed his pride. "P-please...master...I beg you. Stop!"_

_Loki sobbed in pain. He didn't stop his movements. He didn't even slow them._

_"Come on, bitch. I know you can do better than that." He growled._

_He grabbed Loki by the throat, fucking into him as roughly as he could._

_"Please, m-master! I beg you. Stop. I-It hurts. I'll- I'll do anything you ask! Please! I-I'm sorry I didn't listen! Just stop!"_

_He tightened his grip on Loki's throat. He pulled Loki up, leaning into his ear. "Hmm...no."_

_He dropped Loki back down, gripping his hips. He pulled out completely and thrust back inside, holding Loki on him as he spilled his seed inside of Loki's body._

_Loki cried out, closing his eyes tightly. He felt him pull out before something was shoved inside of him. He groaned, trying to control his breathing. He sobbed into the pillows, whining in pain. He felt the ache in his whole body._

_He felt a hand in his hair and his head was pulled up. "You'll make a good slave. You have the perfect little body, the tightest little hole. You definitely need some help learning your place, but I think I picked a good one. Don't you, boy?"_

Loki sat up quickly. His heart was pounding and he could barely breathe. He looked around the room, clutching his chest.

He had to breathe. He knew he had to breathe. Tony always told him to just breathe. He wanted Tony. He didn't want to go wake Tony up. Tony was mad at him. Tony wanted him in here.

Loki tried his hardest to breathe. He hates his mind. He doesn't know why it makes him remember these things. It's not fair.

After a few minutes, he managed to slow his breathing somewhat. He glanced at the window. It was still dark out. It was still nighttime. He wanted Tony but Tony put him in here.

Maybe if he just went to go sleep next to Tony it would be okay. He wouldn't wake him up. He'd just sleep next to him. And then wake up before Tony does so he can come back in here so Tony doesn't get mad at him.

Loki took a few deep breaths and stood up. He opened the door to his room and went down the hall to Tony's. He listened for a moment, wanting to make sure Tony was asleep. He didn't hear anything so he assumed he was.

Loki pushed the door open and stepped inside. Tony was asleep in his bed. Loki walked over. He moved to get into the bed but stopped. He pulled his clothes off and dropped them on the floor. Maybe Tony will be less mad at him for coming in here if he was naked.

He pulled back the blanket and laid down next to Tony.

Loki rested his head on Tony's chest, closing his eyes.

Tony made him feel safe.

* * *

Tony opened his eyes and groaned. He stretched his arms over his head and rubbed his eyes. He held his hand over his face to shield his eyes from the offensive sunlight that was streaming through the windows.

He was suddenly aware of a warmth against his body. He looked down and lifted up the covers. Loki laid there, curled up against his side. When did Loki come in here? He'd put Loki in his bedroom.

"Jarvis, when did Loki come in here?"

" _Around three, sir."_

"Hm. Do you know why?"

_"It appears he had a nightmare._ "

Tony nodded. He reached down and pulled Loki into his arms. That's when he realized that Loki was naked. He wished he understood what went on in Loki's head.

Once he pulled him up, he carefully shook him. "Hey, it's time to get up."

Loki whined but didn't open his eyes. He nuzzled his head into Tony's chest.

"Come on, Loki. It's late. You gotta get up, babe."

Loki let out a small groan, his eyes fluttering open. He looked at Tony for a moment before his eyes suddenly went wide and he jumped to the floor. He sat there on his knees, looking up at Tony. "Oh god, I'm sorry, mas- sir- Tony. I-I just didn't want to sleep alone! I h-had a nightmare. Please don't hurt me. I'm sorry!"

Tony sat up quickly. "Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay. I'm not mad. You're allowed in here. It's okay."

"Y-you're not mad?"

"No. Why would I be mad?"

"Because you w-wanted me to sleep in the other room a-and I thought you made me sleep in there because you were mad at me, s-so you didn't want me in here." Loki whispered.

"No, I'm not mad at you. I thought you'd want to sleep alone after what happened the last time you slept in here. I'm sorry, Loki. I assumed you didn't want to sleep by me." He explained, leaning down to wipe Loki's tears away. "I'm sorry. You can sleep in here whenever you want. I won't make you sleep in the other bedroom if you don't want to."

Loki rubbed his eyes, putting his head on Tony's knee.

"Why don't you put your clothes back on so we can go have breakfast."

Loki shook his head. "'m not hungry. I want a hug..."

"Come here then."

Loki crawled between Tony's legs and leaned up on his knees. He wrapped his arms around Tony, leaning his head against Tony's stomach. Tony hugged him, kissing the top of his head.

"Are you okay?"

Loki nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You don't need to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

They stayed like that for a few minutes.

"How come you came in here, anyway?" Tony asked, even though he knew the answer.

"I-I had a nightmare..."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you want me to talk about it?"

Tony sighed. He’s back to this. “You can talk about it if you want. I won't make you."

Loki shrugged, hiding his face in Tony's shirt. Tony could tell that whatever happened in Loki's nightmare had upset him because of how he was acting. He was on the floor, on his knees. He'd almost called Tony two different names. He'd taken his clothes off at some point and wouldn't put them back on. He was shaking and damn near in tears as he sat there, clinging to Tony.

Tony managed to pull Loki into his lap. He held him and brushed his fingers though his hair. "It's okay. You're safe. Whatever happened is over. You're safe here. I promise."

Loki didn't respond for a few minutes. He was shaking even harder than before and he was beginning to hyperventilate. "Please don't- don't let him have m-me again. Please. I-I can't go through it a-again. Please, Tony. Please don't make me go back. I-I can't. It hurts. I don't want to go back. Please. Please, don't m-make me. Please. Please. Please..."

"Shh....It's okay. Breathe. Calm yourself down." Tony whispered, rubbing Loki's back gently. "Just breathe for me, Loki...You're not going back there. Ever. I promise. I swear on my life, I will not let him take you back. It's over now. You're safe. It's okay."

"I-I'm scared. He'll come for me. I know he will. I don't w-want him to. I don't want to go back there. He hurts me. I'm scared of him, Tony. Please."

"I know you're scared, babe. And I know he hurt you. I know you don't want to go back. I won't let you go back and I won't let him hurt you again. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm going to protect you."

Loki sobbed into Tony's shirt, holding onto him tightly.

"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you? Why are you so upset? What happened?"

To Tony's surprise, Loki gave a small nod.

"What's going on?"

"I-I'm scared he's going to come for me. I had...I remembered the first time again and it-it scared me. It hurt so bad..."

"It's going to be okay, Loki. I promise. I know it hurt and I know it scared you. I won't let him hurt you. It's over now."

Loki looked up at him, his green eyes red and puffy. "Really?"

"Yes. Really." Tony told him, kissing his forehead.

Tony grabbed the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around Loki. If he wouldn't put clothes on, Tony at least wanted him somewhat covered. 

Loki didn't move from his spot. He kept his face buried in Tony's chest. Tony continued to gently stroke his hair as he slowly calmed down.

Tony looked at the clock on the nightstand. It's was almost noon. He had to run out. He had a meeting today and they needed more strawberries, since Loki likes them. He didn't want to tell Loki though. He knew it would just upset Loki if he left.

"Tony?"

"Mm?"

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too."

Loki got off of Tony's lap and got on his knees on the bed. He leaned down and pressed his forehead to Tony's thigh.

"What is that?" Tony asked.

"What?" Loki responded without moving.

"What you're doing. Why do you sit like that?"

"I-...I-It's just something I'm supposed to do." Loki told him.

"But why?" Tony asked, brushing his fingers through his hair. "Why are you supposed to sit like this? What does it mean?"

Loki sat up, looking at Tony. "Master has me do it when he rewards me. I think it means that I'm grateful. It's just a habit now, I guess. He taught me a lot of different positions that he likes to see me in."

"You don't have to do that." Tony told him. "...What...What kind of positions did he teach you?"

Loki sat up a little. "Do you want me to do them or just tell you them?"

Tony immediately regretted his question. He was curious, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Uh, just tell me."

"Well, there's one for when I'm going to be punished, and there's one for when he wants me to wait for him, and there's one when he wants me to present myself to him, and another one for when he wants me on display. And then there's the one I do all the time. He stopped using them for the most part though, after like two years. Aside from like two of them."

Tony had his eyebrows raised as Loki spoke.

"Would you like to see them?" Loki asked before Tony could say anything.

"No." Tony said quickly. "You don't have to show me."

"What if I want to?"

"Why do you want to?" Tony asked.

"Because I love you and you make me feel safe and happy. And because I want you to see me. Master says I look pretty like that."

Tony stared at Loki in silence for a few minutes before letting out a long sigh. "If showing me is what will make you happy, then you can show me...two of them. Pick two."

There were definitely a few that Loki listed that he had a feeling he wouldn't want to see. He didn't really want to see Loki present himself or put himself on display.

Loki got off the bed, on his hands and knees. He leaned down and clasped his hands on the back of his neck. He leaned on his elbows, lifting his hips so that his ass was in the air. Tony really wished he'd had Loki get dressed first. He knew he was going to get hard like this. And he also knew that Loki would notice and then want to help.

"Which one is this?" Tony asked, hating himself for thinking Loki looked attractive like this.

"This is the position master would have me take when he wished to punish me."

Tony just nodded.

"Do you wish to punish me?"

"No, Loki. I'm not going to punish you." Tony told him. "You don't have to stay like that."

"I didn't ask if you were _going_ to. I asked if you _wanted_ to....just because one is or isn't going to do something, doesn't mean that they don't desire it. I find that many are too afraid to act on their desires."

Tony raised an eyebrow at him. How does he switch personalities so quickly? Not ten minutes ago, he was crying in Tony's lap, and now he's trying to seduce him. "I don't _want_ to punish you."

"But you want to touch me." Loki whispered, shaking his ass slightly.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean? I'm not doing anything."

"Mhm...You sure about that?"

Loki nodded. "I'm doing nothing."

"Really? Because it seems like you're trying to get me to do something to you."

Loki sat up and gave Tony an innocent look. He stared up at him with big green eyes. "I'm not trying to get you to do anything. Though I'd have no issues if you did wish to do something. I'll do anything you ask."

"I'm not doing anything."

Loki pouted. "Tony, please! You have to. Please punish me!"

"Why?"

"Because I deserve it! Please Tony. My body is yours! Please! You have to punish me!"

"I'm not going to punish you."

Loki took the same position he'd been in before. "Please, Tony. Please punish me. I beg you. Please. Anything. I'll take anything. I'll do anything. Please..."

Tony let out a long sigh. He thought for a moment. "Fine. I have to go out for about four hours or so. Your punishment is to clean the kitchen, the living room, and my room. And when you're done, I want you to sit on the bed and wait for me to come back. If everything is done right, you'll get a reward when I get back."

Loki got up on his knees and nodded. "Yes, Tony. Thank you. Should I get dressed?"

Tony knew he should say yes, but he knew Loki wouldn't be satisfied that way. Loki wanted a punishment, and this was the best Tony could do without physically harming him. "No."

Loki looked oddly relieved. He nodded again.

Tony quickly got dressed and left the penthouse. He hoped Loki would be okay in his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the language loki spoke in is actually hungarian and it means “fuck you” so yeah


	14. Welcome Home

It took Loki about a half hour to figure out how he was meant to clean everything. Surely, Tony wasn't asking him to clean everything with his tongue as his master did. There's too much to clean like that. He had ended up asking Jarvis what he was supposed to clean with, and he'd told him that there were some cleaning supplies in the bathroom closet.

Loki headed in there and grabbed a few things. He wasn't exactly sure what he'd need, so he grabbed a broom, a bucket, a duster, something called "Windex," and a few rags. He decided he'd start in the kitchen and walked out there. It felt a little weird walking around naked, but that was only because he'd never really been naked here. He'd be used to it soon enough.

He started wiping the counters down and then he did the dishes, dried them, and put them away. He then swept the floor and filled the bucket with water and soap. He grabbed a rag and soaked it in the water. He squeezed it out, got down on the floor, and began to scrub. He wasn't sure if he was doing any of this right. He'd never really cleaned like this before. He'd seen the maids and servants in Asgard clean like this, so he assumed this was right.

The floor took him for what felt like forever. He made sure he washed every single tile before getting up. He took a dry rag off the counter and started to soak up some of the water he'd left behind. He crawled across the kitchen, making sure to get every last drop of water off the floor.

He finally got up, gathering up his supplies. He headed into the living room. He had a feeling this room would take a while. It was big and there was a lot of stuff here. He picked up the duster and walked around the room, dusting off various things. Everything here was covered in dust, and he was fairly sure that Tony never cleaned. He cleaned the coffee table, the tv stand, the end tables, the bookshelf, the tv screen, and a bunch of other small objects. He then grabbed the broom and swept the floor again, before getting back on his hands and knees with the bucket. He wasn't sure how long Tony had been gone but he had to finish before Tony got back. He had to hurry up, but he wanted to make sure everything was clean.

He scrubbed the floor and dried it, moving to fix the pillows and cushions on the couch and chairs. Once he was done, it was time to go to Tony's bedroom. He had to clean in there and then wait for him to return.

He walked down the hall to Tony's room and entered. Tony's room didn't seem too bad. It was relatively clean, aside from some clothes on the floor and some dust around. The floor was wood so he knew he'd have to clean that as well.

He quickly got to work, dusting things off and picking up various pieces of clothing and throwing them in a pile he'd figure out what to do with later. He made Tony's bed and opened the curtains. He dusted off the window sill and the nightstands, before finally starting on the floor. He did the same thing again, getting down on the floor to clean it and dry it.

"Jarvis, how long has Tony been gone?"

" _About three hours."_

Loki still had about an hour until Tony would return. "Do you think he'd be happy with me if I cleaned the bathroom as well?"

_"Most likely."_

Loki nodded, deciding he'd clean the bathroom for Tony.

He brought everything in there and repeated the same process as he did in every other room. He made sure he cleaned the inside of the bathtub and the shower as well. He took his time making sure everything looked nice and clean. When he was done, he put everything away and headed back into the bedroom. He got on the bed and sat down. He wanted to make sure Tony was happy with him, so he decided he was going to be waiting in a position he knew Tony would like.

"Jarvis, how long until Tony comes back?"

_"He's about fifteen minutes away right now."_

Loki flipped onto his stomach and got on his knees, he put his hands behind hid back and leaned down on the bed. He arched his back and spread his legs, his ass in the air, right in Tony's line of sight when he walks in. He wanted Tony to take him. He wanted to belong to Tony. If Tony fucked him, he'd belong to Tony. He hoped this would get Tony's attention.

* * *

Tony grabbed the two bags he had and got out of the car, rushing inside the building. He wanted to see Loki and make sure he was still okay. He wanted to see if Loki had completed his 'punishment.' He pushed the elevator button, getting impatient as it came back down, floor by floor. Why had he made this building so damn tall? He'd never realized how long it took this elevator to come back to the bottom floor.

When the elevator finally reached him, he quickly stepped inside and pressed the button for the penthouse over and over again, until the doors finally closed. It took forever to go up, just as it had to come down. He wanted to see how well Loki did. This was his first time really leaving Loki home alone for so long, and this was his first time giving Loki a task as he did.

As the elevator doors opened, he quickly composed himself. He stepped inside, glancing around the room. It looked spotless from where he was. He placed one bag down on the coffee table. He decided he was going to check on Loki before he went to go take a closer look. He quietly made his way into the bedroom, freezing in the doorway.

His eyes went wide as he stared at the image before him. Loki was on the bed, his face pressed against the comforter, holding his arms behind his back. He had his ass in the air and his legs spread as wide as they would go. Tony could see everything.

Loki didn't appear to notice him just yet, so he stood there staring for a few more minutes. Eventually, he managed to tear his eyes away. He leaned against the wall, shifting the bag so it was covering the bulge in his pants. He cleared his throat and Loki visibly jumped.

He turned his head to look at Tony but didn't say a word.

"Did you do what I said?" Tony asked.

Loki nodded. "I did everything you asked."

"You cleaned everything?"

"Yes."

Tony could tell that Loki was getting upset at the fact that Tony had yet to acknowledge the way he was sitting. "You're telling me that I can check every room and they'll all be absolutely spotless?"

"Yes."

Tony pretended to think for a moment. "I guess I'll have to go make sure, won't I? Stay right there. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Tony left the room again. It only took him about five minutes to check all of the rooms, and sure enough, they were spotless. Loki had done a good job. Tony had planned to reward him either way, but Loki didn't need to know that.

He walked back into the bedroom and went over to Loki. He sat on the edge of the bed.

"I also cleaned your bathroom." Loki said quietly, still not moving from his position. God, how Tony wanted to just grab that perfect little ass.

"Did you now?"

Loki nodded.

"Good boy. I'm proud of you. You did so well." Tony praised, running his fingers through Loki's hair. He put a hand on Loki's back and gently pushed him down. He dropped his ass, just laying on the bed. "Do you know what good boys get?"

Loki shook his head. Tony grabbed the blanket and put it over Loki's lower body.

"Good boys get rewards." Tony told him, grabbing the bag he'd brought in.

He placed the bag down on the bed in front of Loki's face. Loki was visibly confused by it.

"Sit up and you can have it."

Loki did as he was told, his plan all but forgotten about now. He wanted to know what was in the bag.

"Go ahead." Tony told him.

Loki took the bag and opened it. He looked inside and pulled out everything that was in it.

Loki looked through everything with wide eyes. There were all different types of clothes in the bag. There were a bunch of shirts of various lengths and styles and colors, and a couple different pairs of pants. There was all different kinds of jewelry as well. He looked through all of them before looking up at Tony.

"I know clothes aren't too exciting, but I know you don't have any."

Loki hugged Tony. "Why aren't clothes exciting? I love it. I've never been given anything like this. They're amazing!"

"You like them?"

"Yes! Thank you..." He spoke, kissing Tony's cheek. "I really like them."

"Good. I'm glad." Tony told him. "Put something on and then come in the kitchen and you can have the second half of your reward."

"There's more?" Loki asked in disbelief.

Tony nodded. "Of course there is."

"Really? I get more?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you did good and I'm proud of you and I love you." Tony said.

"I love you too."

Tony smiled and kissed the top of his head. "Get dressed for me."

"In what?"

"Whatever you choose."

Loki nodded and Tony headed into the kitchen. He grabbed the second bag and pulled a box out of it. He'd gotten Loki cheesecake from a really expensive bakery. He wasn't sure if Loki would like it but he hoped he would. Loki never really told him what he liked other than strawberries and burnt eggs.

He put a piece on a plate and put it on the counter behind him. He stood in front of it, waiting for Loki to come out. He poured himself a drink and watched the hallway.

When Loki finally came out, Tony nearly choked on his drink. He looked amazing. He wore a dark green silk shirt with a really deep neckline. It was a little big, so it hung off of his shoulders a little but it looks perfect. He wore a pair of plain black jeans, and a few of the gold brackets that Tony had got him. Tony didn't expect him to do all that, but he wasn't going to complain.

Loki came over and sat down on one of the stools. "Does this look okay?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Shit. Yeah, you look...beautiful."

Loki smiled softly. "Thank you..."

Tony poured himself another drink. "You're welcome, sweetheart. How do you feel about sweet foods?"

"I love sweet foods." Loki told him.

"Okay good." He grabbed the plate and put it in front of Loki. "This is the other half of your reward. I got you cheesecake."

"Cheesecake?" He asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Yes. Have you had cheesecake?"

"I tried it when I was here last. It was wonderful."

Tony laughed, handing Loki a fork. "Well, eat it. It's all for you."

"All of it?" He asked, his eyes wide.

Tony nodded. "Yes, all of it."

Loki looked so happy. Tony had never seen him like that. It really is the little things.

Tony sat next to him, watching as he began to eat.

They sat in silence for a few before Loki finally spoke up. "Tony?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course. What's up?"

Loki looked down at the table. "I-I want-...Will you...Will you fuck me?"

"No." Tony said immediately.

"Why?"

"Because, Loki, you were raped. You need to heal. You don't have to offer yourself to me. You know that. You don't have to do anything for me because you think you have to. I know you don't truly want to."

"It's not that. Tony, I want to be yours. I know I don't have to do it. I want to. I truly do. That's the only part of me where his touch still lingers. I want you. I want to be yours. I can't heal until his touch has been completely wiped away. I've thought a lot about it, and I want to belong to you." Loki whispered. "Please understand me."

"I don't feel comfortable taking advantage of you like that." Tony told him. "I...I understand what you're saying, what you mean, but I know you won't tell me if you're scared or if I accidentally hurt you or if it becomes too much. I get worried when I do the things I already do with you. Because I know you won't say anything because you still think of yourself as an object for pleasure. I'm sorry, Loki, but no. At least not yet."

Loki got up and climbed into Tony's lap. "You're not taking advantage of me. I am asking you for it. I promise, I will tell you if I don't like it or I get scared. Please, Tony. I beg you. I'll do anything. I want to be yours. Please."

Tony sighed. He looked at Loki. He could see the tears in his eyes. He could hear the desperation in Loki's voice. He knew that Loki truly wanted this. But he didn't want to hurt Loki. He wouldn't mind having Loki as his own. He was beautiful and amazing and sweet. But he didn't want to hurt Loki. He knew that there were still times when Loki would have a hard time remembering that he was safe now. He knew that Loki still did a lot of the things he did when he was a slave. Tony had only managed to break a few small habits. Loki's mind still wasn't completely there. It's only been about a week that he's been free. He's not even close to being better. Physically, he's better, but mentally, he hasn't changed much. He needed to think. "I'll tell you what...give me some time to think about it. Sit here, eat your cheesecake, and then find something to do. I'm going to go to my workshop and I'll come find you when I've thought about it. Okay?"

Loki nodded. Tony placed a small kiss on the top of his head as he walked away. Loki took another bite of his food, staring down at the plate. He hoped Tony would say yes. He wanted to be Tony's.

Loki finished eating and then brought the plate over to the sink. He washed it, dried it, and put it away. He wanted Tony to be happy with him. He wanted to do something that would please Tony but he was unsure of what to do. He had already cleaned. There were other rooms, but he didn't want to touch anything he wasn't supposed to. He walked out onto the balcony, looking at the city below him. It was pretty. But it was cold out. He crossed his arms over his chest and walked back inside. He sat down on the floor in front of the couch. He pulled his knees up to his chest.

He was bored. He really didn't know what to

do. He didn't really know what he was allowed to do. Tony never told him what he was and wasn't allowed to do.

He decided that he would go wait in the bedroom for Tony. He got up and walked down the hall, to Tony's room. He sat down on the floor, on his knees. He put his hands on thighs and just waited. He wasn't sure how long exactly that he waited, but when Tony finally returned, some hours later, the sun had gone down and the moon was high.

He walked in the room and looked down at Loki. "You don't have to sit like that, you know."

"I like to." Loki whispered. "It feels right."

"Why does it feel right?"

"...Everything's so different right now. It feels normal."

Tony nodded. "I understand."

Tony knelt down on the floor in front of Loki. He pushed his hair behind his ear.

"I understand what you want. And I want to give it to you, but I don't want to hurt you. You may be physically healed, but your mind is not much better than it was when you came here. You still do the things that you were trained to do. I don't want to do that with you until just yet, not while all of that stuff is still embedded in your head. I don't want you to think of me as a new "master." And I know that you will because of what's been taught to you. But, I'll make you a deal. Okay?"

Loki nodded slowly.

"I won't do that with you, yet, but we can move towards it. I'll do more with you, as long as you promise me that you will tell me if it's too much. You already are mine, Loki."

Loki nodded again.

"Is that a good deal?"

"Yes." Loki told him.

Tony held his arms out and Loki crawled over. He hugged Tony, burying his face in Tony's neck.

"You look beautiful, you know." Tony whispered, rubbing his cheek against the side of Loki's head.

"Thank you."

He held Loki, playing with his hair.

"Will you touch me?" Loki asked softly.

"Would you like me to?"

"Please."

Tony moved both of his hands on Loki's ass and squeezed. "Like that?"

Loki nodded, whimpering softly as Tony massaged his ass. He let go with one hand and unbuttoned Loki's jeans. He pushed his other hand inside and grabbed Loki's ass again. Tony still wasn't sure if this was really a good idea. He knew Loki still had a lot of issues. He wasn't okay. But he wanted to give Loki what he wanted. He just didn't know if he was doing this right. He's flying blind. He had no idea how to handle someone like this. Loki was traumatized and Tony was confused. He hoped he wasn't messing Loki up anymore than he already was. He hoped that by helping Loki to feel pleasure, he was helping him to understand that he was no longer a slave and would no longer be hurt. He wanted to help, but he didn't know how.

"What are you going to do?" Loki asked, kissing Tony's neck.

"What would you like?”

"Whatever you'll give me." He whispered.

Tony kissed him. "Get on the bed."

Loki quickly did as he was told, laying down on the bed. He attempted to push his pants down, but Tony grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head.

"Don't move them."

Loki nodded, staring at Tony.

Tony slid his hands under Loki's shirt, running them up and down his sides. He stopped to play with one of Loki's nipples before grabbing the hem of the shirt and pulling it over Loki's head.

He dropped it on the floor and moved to plant small kisses all along Loki's chest and stomach.

"You'd better tell me if I do anything you don't like. Even if it's something small. If I get the feeling that something is bothering you and you don't tell me, I stop and we don't continue. Understand?"

"Yes. I understand."

"Good boy." Tony said, grabbing into Loki's jeans. "Lift up."

Loki did as he was told and Tony pulled his pants off and tossed them to the floor with his shirt. Loki now laid completely bare under Tony, who was still fully clothed.

Tony moved back up Loki's body, pressing their lips together. Loki opened his mouth and Tony pushed his tongue inside. Tony's hands explored Loki's body as their tongues moved together. He pulled away from Loki's lips, causing him to release a small whine. He kissed down Loki's neck and chest, stopping when he reached his nipples. He attached his lips to the left one, taking the right between two fingers.

Loki was panting softly as Tony touched him. He wondered what else Tony would do.

Tony switched sides, pulling a few whimpers from Loki. Loki was squirming beneath him. He was getting impatient. He wanted more. Tony moved back up and attached his lips to Loki's neck. He licked and sucked at the skin, a dark mark forming as he pulled away.

"Flip over. Hands and knees." Tony panted into his ear.

Loki complied instantly, pulling himself onto his hands and knees. Tony was behind him, pulling his shirt over his head.

"I'm going to do something different. If you don't like it, tell me immediately." Tony told him.

Loki nodded, keeping his head turned so he could see what Tony was doing. He was a little nervous. He didn't know what to expect.

"Look forward."

He really didn't want to take his eyes off of Tony. He didn't like not being able to see what was happening. It reminded him of when he was blindfolded by his master. It scared him. Bad things always happened when he couldn't see. He technically still could see, but he had been told to look away. He had to tell Tony. Tony said to tell him. "I-I don't like not being able to see..."

"That's okay. I didn't know that. You don't have to turn around. You can look." Tony said softly, rubbing Loki's back gently. "Thank you for telling me, sweetheart."

Loki nodded.

Tony continued to rub his back for a few minutes. "You're doing so good. I'm proud of you."

Loki hummed in response, dropping down into his elbows.

Tony leaned over him and kissed the back of his neck, pushing his hair aside. "You're beautiful, you know..."

Loki bit his lip and smiled. "Thank you."

Tony put his hands on Loki's thighs, pushing them apart a little. Loki spread his legs as far as he could for Tony.

"What are you going to do?" Loki asked.

"You'll see in a moment....unless you really want to know. Does not knowing what I'm doing scare you?"

"I-It only scares me if I can't see you."

Tony nodded. "Okay."

"Will it hurt?"

"No." Tony told him. "But it may not be something that turns you on so I need you to tell me whether or not you like it. Okay?"

Loki nodded.

Tony put his hands on Loki's ass and spread his cheeks apart. Loki watched him, unsure of what exactly he was doing.

Tony leaned down and pressed his tongue to Loki's hole. Loki gasped at the unfamiliar sensation. Tony did it again. He licked and sucked on Loki's skin, pulling small whimpers from his lips. Thor had only done this to him maybe once or twice. He forgot how good it felt.

"Do you like this, babe?"

"Y-yes." He panted.

He pressed his tongue into Loki's hole, before pulling back and licking around it. Loki whined and pushed his ass back.

Tony groaned against Loki's skin, slowly stroking him. Loki moaned loudly. Tony nipped at his skin, pressing the tip of his tongue into Loki. He fucked him with it slowly, listening to every little moan that left Loki's lips.

Loki fell down onto the bed, no longer able to support himself. He was trembling, whimpering and moaning uncontrollably. Tony's tongue felt amazing. He stroked Loki. Loki was overwhelmed by the way he felt. He was unaccustomed to this much pleasure. He wasn't sure if he wanted Tony to stop or not. He wasn't even sure if he could form the words the say it.

He didn't think he could handle it. It felt good. But it was too good. It was too much.

"T-Tony." He choked. "I...I-I can't...S-stop."

The moment the words left his lips, Tony was no longer touching him.

"You okay? What's wrong?"

Loki was panting, trying to catch he breath. All he did was shake his head.

"You gotta talk to me, Loki."

"T-too much." He whispered.

"Okay. You're okay. I won't do anything else."

Loki slowed his breathing somewhat, looking back at Tony. "You can. I just need a minute."

"No. It was too much. I don't want to overwhelm you." Tony told him.

Loki rolled onto his side so he could look at Tony better. Tony still had his pants on, but Loki could see that he was hard. "At least let me help you then."

"No. You don't have to. I can handle it on my own."

"But I want to. Please Tony."

Tony sighed. He didn't want to push Loki any further, but he was hard and so was Loki.

"No."

"Please. I'm okay. I promise." Loki told him, getting on his knees in front of Tony.

"No. I said no, Loki."

Loki pouted and grabbed the hem of Tony's jeans. Tony grabbed his hand and held it away.

"I said no." He growled.

Loki gasped and immediately pulled back. He looked down at the bed.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you. I didn’t mean to.” Tony spoke. “I want you to go take a shower and go to bed, and I’m going to do the same. We’ll talk about this in the morning. I think I need to think some more.”

Loki gave a small nod.

Tony kissed Loki’s cheek before getting up. He was still hard and Loki didn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to help.

“Can I shower with you?”

Tony looked back at him. “No. Go shower in your room.”

“Can I sleep in here?”

“Yes.” He sighed.


	15. Minerva

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is potentially triggering, so read at your own discretion

"Alright. Change of plans." Tony told Loki. "Nothing sexual. At all. Ever."

Loki looked up from his bowl of strawberries, frowning. "Why?"

"Because I realized that I'm handling this all wrong. You spent five years as a slave, forced to do all kinds of sexual things you didn't want to do. The last thing I should be doing is having sex with you. You need to get better. You can't get better if you're doing the same thing you've done for five years that made you this way in the first place. And I know you're going to tell me that you want it but I have no way of knowing if that's true because I have no idea what's going on in your head. I don't know if you actually want me to touch you or if you actually want to please me. I don't know if you're just saying and doing it because you think you have to or you'll get hurt. I don't want to do more damage to your mind than there already is. You've been through enough." Tony explained.

Loki didn't respond right away. He wanted it. He really did. He trusted Tony. He wanted Tony to touch him. He wanted to be Tony's. But Tony was telling him no and he didn't understand why. Well, he understood, but not completely. His mind was fine. He knew what he wanted. He wasn't crazy or stupid. He just wanted Tony. "I'm okay though..."

"No. You're not, Loki. I'm sorry. I want to make you happy, but I don't want to do something that's going to hurt you in the long run. So if keeping you safe means making you unhappy, then that's just what I'll have to do."

Loki frowned, looking down at the table. "Okay."

Tony stood up and kissed the top of Loki's head. "I'm not trying to be mean. I'm trying to protect you."

Loki nodded.

"Would you like to come sit with me while I work?"

Loki shook his head.

"Is there something else you'd like to do?"

Loki shook his head again.

"Are you mad at me?"

Loki shook his head another time.

Tony kissed Loki's cheek. "You know I love you. I'll give you some time to yourself. Come find me if you need me. You know where I'll be."

Loki nodded.

Tony walked away and headed to his lab. Loki picked at a piece of strawberry.

He couldn't figure out why Tony didn't want him anymore. Is it because of how he was the night before? He was confused. He wanted Tony to want him. He didn't understand. It wasn't fair. He loved Tony and Tony said he loved him too but Tony didn't want him. Maybe Tony was just mad at him. Maybe Tony just wanted to punish him. Maybe if he let Tony punish him, he'd be less angry. Loki just wanted to be good. He wanted Tony to be happy with him.

Loki decided he was done eating. He washed the bowl and put it away. He didn't want to go by Tony because Tony was mad at him. He would just go hide somewhere so Tony didn't have to see him or deal with him. He didn't want to make Tony more mad.

He couldn't go in his room-- the room Tony allows him to use, not _his_ room. He wasn't allowed to have things- or Tony's room because Tony would see him. He didn't know what any of the other rooms were for, but Tony never really went in them. He didn't want to go somewhere he wasn't allowed though. He didn't want Tony to be more mad at him. He walked out onto the balcony and sat down in the farthest corner, where Tony wouldn't see him. He pulled his knees to his chest, shivering slightly. It was freezing. He wasn't dressed right to be sitting out here in the cold. He didn't care though. He deserved it. If Tony wouldn't punish him, he'd punish himself. He had made Tony angry and he deserved to feel pain.

He twisted his bracelet around, looking down at the city. He could see cars and crowds of people passing by, but he was too high up to see anything specific. Loki wanted Tony. But Tony was mad. Tony wouldn't punish him though and Loki didn't understand why. He was supposed to be punished. Maybe he was waiting to see if Loki would do it himself. Maybe he was just waiting to see how well Loki could behave.

He decided that he had to punish himself so that he could make Tony happy.

This wasn't enough. Yeah, it was cold, but it wasn't a good punishment. He had to find a better way to punish himself. He deserved it.

He couldn't think of anything that Tony had that would hurt him. Tony didn't have any whips or anything— not that he could really so that to himself anyway— and he wouldn't hit Loki either.

That's when it hit him. Tony had fire. The thing in the kitchen that he used to cook the eggs the other day, it had fire. Fire hurts. Master punished him with fire a few times.

Loki got to his feet and walked into the kitchen and over the cooking thing (he wasn't really sure what its name was.) He turned it on, the way he saw Tony do it. It made a small clicking noise and then there was fire.

Loki held his hand over the fire, a few inches away. It was hot. He wasn't really sure how he should do this. He held his fingertips in the fire, gasping at the sudden painful sensation. He bit his lip to keep from making any noise as he did it again. He pushed his hand further into the flame, struggling to hold in his pained whimpers. He pulled his hand away, figuring he should probably take his shirt off so it was easier. He pulled his shirt over his head, careful not to brush against the burns on his hand. He put his shirt on the counter behind him and went back to what he was doing.

He held the palm of his hand directly over the fire, grabbing onto the counter with his other hand as he tried not to scream, tears involuntarily falling down his cheeks.

He continued, forcing his hand and arm into the flame until he reached his elbow, as he struggled not to scream and cry out. He was sweating and his head was pounding. His arm felt like it was on fire. His skin was bloody and red, covered in second and third-degree burns. He took a break for a moment. He leaned against the counter. He hoped this would make Tony happy. It hurt so bad. He just wanted Tony to want him.

He took a few deep breathes before turning back. He took his other hand and placed it in the flame. He groaned, biting his lip and drawing blood. It hurt so bad.

"Loki! What the hell are you doing?"

Loki spun around fast, staring at Tony. Tony was staring at his arm with wide eyes. He quickly walked over and turned the fire off.

"What did you do?" He asked, holding his hand near Loki's arm. He didn't want to touch him. He didn't know if it would hurt.

"I-I...I thought...y-you wouldn't punish me...so I..." Loki whispered, unable to finish his sentence.

"So you burn yourself?" He asked. His voice kept getting louder. "Why?"

"I thought i-it would make you happy..."

"Why would hurting yourself make me happy?" He was yelling now.

Loki was trembling, crying softly. He didn't answer. Tony was really mad now.

"Hold up your arms. Let me see."

Loki did as he was told and raised his arms so Tony could see. The left one wasn't bad since he'd only gotten to part of his hand, but the right was horrible. His entire hand and forearm, up to his elbow was badly burnt.

"Jesus fucking christ, Loki..." He groaned. "This is bad. This is really bad. Why did you think this would make me happy?"

"Y-You wouldn't punish me so I-I thought you wanted me to do it myself..." He whispered, looking down at the floor.

Tony just sighed. "We'll talk about this later. Right now I need to figure out what to do. I can't take you to a hospital. I don't have anything here to treat burns this bad...Go sit down."

Loki quickly moved to sit on the stool. Tony sat next to him and examined him further.

"I'm sorry."

"No. It's my fault. I shouldn't have left you alone." Tony spoke. "I have to go to the store. I need to get...something. I don't even know what."

Loki nodded.

"Stay right here. _Do not_ fucking move from this spot until I get back." Tony ordered.

Loki nodded again.

He grabbed a towel from the kitchen drawer and carefully wrapped it around Loki's arm. Loki groaned in pain. "Keep that on there."

Tony headed over to the elevator and Loki watched the doors close. He put his head down on the table. He messed up again. And now Tony was really mad at him. He didn't understand why Tony hasn't punished him yes. He keeps doing things wrong and making mistakes but Tony won't punish him.

It just didn't make sense.

* * *

After what felt like forever, the elevator doors finally opened again. Tony stepped inside. He was holding two bags. He placed them down on the counter as he approached Loki. He looked at the towel on Loki's arm and frowned. Loki hadn't noticed but blood had soaked through the towel.

Loki didn't look up at Tony. Tony tucked a strand of Loki's hair behind his ear and kissed the top of his head. He gently cupped Loki's chin, tilting his head up slightly.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you before. I didn't mean to. I saw the burns and I panicked. I shouldn't have raised my voice." Tony said softly.

"It's okay." Loki whispered. "I deserved to get yelled at...I deserve more than that...Y-you have every right to yell at me. I'm yours."

"I don't want you to think that way. You don't deserve any of that. And you're not mine in that way. I'm not your master and I don't want you to think I am. I shouldn't have yelled and I'm not going to do it again. I know it scared you...give me your arm, babe."

Loki held out his arm, watching as Tony unwrapped the towel. Loki whimpered softly, the blood on the towel had dried and was stuck to his burnt skin.

"I'm sorry. I know it hurts. I got everything that said "burn" on it. And I got you something too."

Loki didn't speak. He tilted his head to the side like  
a puppy.

Tony carefully rested Loki's arm on the table. He grabbed one of the bags and pulled a small box out. He opened it and placed it in front of Loki. Loki looked at it. It was full of colorful little squares of something. It smelled good. "What is it?"

"You said you liked sweet food so I picked that up. I thought you'd like it. Just try it and I'll tell you what it is."

Loki examined it for a few while Tony pulled some stuff from the other bag. He picked up a piece of the food and smelled it. He gasped when his other arm suddenly began to burn.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, I know it hurts. I hoped the food would distract you." Tony told him. "It was just alcohol. I had to make sure it the burns were clean. I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you have to make sure they're clean?" Loki asked.

"So they don't get infected. If they get infected it could be very bad."

"Oh."

Loki turned his attention back to the strange food in his hand. Tony still hadn't told him what it was. It was three different colors with chocolate on some of the sides, and what looked like some kind of fruit or jam in between the colors. It smelled good.

He took a small bite out of it. He looked up at Tony, who was holding a bottle of clear gel. "What is this? I like it."

"It's a rainbow cookie-cake. It's Italian." He responded, not looking up from what he was doing.

"What's Italian?"

"It means it's from Italy."

"What's Italy?"

"A country."

"Oh. Okay."

Loki continued to eat the cookie as Tony rubbed some of the gel on certain parts of his arm. Loki frowned. It didn't hurt, it was just cold and it felt weird.

Loki ate another cookie, watching as Tony took a white cream, and put it on the parts he didn't put any of the gel. Then he took a roll of bandages and began to wrap it around Loki's arm, starting at his hand and making his way up to his elbow.

"Let me see your other hand."

Loki put his food down and held his hand out. Tony examined it, being careful not to hurt him.

"This one isn't bad at all, thankfully. I don't think I'll even have to wrap this hand." Tony said. "Does it hurt?"

"Not real-"

_"Sir, Thor has just arrived on the balcony."_

"Shit." Tony sighed.

"What?" Loki asked.

"I don't want him to see your arms and accuse me of doing something to you again."

Loki frowned. Before he could respond, Thor entered the room. "Tony! Loki! I bring news!"

Tony stood up and walked in front of Loki, blocking him from Thor's line of sight. Loki moved so his arm was out of sight as well.

"How are you?" Tony asked.

"I am well. How about yourself?" He spoke, glancing at Loki from over Tony's shoulder. "And Loki, are you feeling well?"

"We're good." Tony said, knowing Loki wouldn't answer. "He's doing well."

Thor nodded. "I have news. Father-"

" _Your_ father." Loki interrupted, not looking up at Thor.

"Yes... _Odin_ still believes that it was The Grandmaster who took Loki. He's spending all his time searching for him. You'll be safe here a while longer. Odin will not expect you to be here."

"So, wait- if Odin was the one to give Loki to this Grandmaster guy in the first place, why is he making a big deal over him taking Loki back?" Tony asked.

"Because he can't let the people know that their king sold his own son off as a slave. He can't have them thinking that he let that man come into Asgard and take something, and simply did nothing about it, so he's making a big show of finding him and me. Chances are, once he finds me, he'll just give me right back and say that I was killed in the process or something." Loki explained quietly. "It's all an act. He cares little for what happens to me."

"Stark..."

Tony looked back to Thor. "Hm?"

"May I speak with you for a moment? Alone?"

Tony raised an eyebrow but nodded.

Tony and Thor stepped out onto the balcony and the moment they were out of Loki's line of sight, Thor had Tony against the wall by his throat. "What did you do to him? Why is his arm bandaged like that?"

"Jesus, Thor." He choked, grabbing Thor's wrist. "I didn't do anything. He d-did that to himself."

"Why would he hurt himself? Why should I believe you?"

"Thor! Stop!"

They both looked over. Thor immediately dropped Tony when he saw Loki standing there. Loki walked over and shoved Thor back with the hand that wasn't bandaged.

"He did nothing to me! Don't you ever accuse him of hurting me again. He has done nothing but help me, where you abandoned me." Loki growled. Tony had realized that when it comes to his family, Loki can get very aggressive. "I hurt myself and that's all there is to it. Do not ever put your hands on him again."

"Alright. I understand." Thor said after a moment of staring at Loki.

Thor stepped back and Tony got to his feet. Loki stood next to Tony, putting his head on Tony's shoulder.

"I need to speak with mother." Loki told him.

"What for?"

"I need to know how to do something."

"What?"

"It's got to do with my magic. I need to speak with her." He sighed.

"I'll uh, I'll see what I can do." Thor said.

"Come here. I need to ask you something." Tony said to Thor before looking at Loki. "Go back inside, okay?"

Loki nodded and went back to the kitchen to eat his cookies. Tony turned to Thor.

"You said your mother was dead." Tony said.

"She is."

"And he doesn't know?"

Thor shook his head.

"You have to tell him."

"No. It'll hurt him." Thor spoke.

"I know, but continuing to keep it from him will hurt him more." Tony growled. "Tell him."

"Can't you tell him for me?"

"No. I won't be the one to do that. You have to tell him."

Thor sighed. "Now?"

"Yes. Because he's already had a rough day and I'm going to help him through it anyway, so it's best to just tell him now and get it over with."

"Fine."

Tony walked inside and over to where Loki sat. He ran his hand through Loki's hair. "Come sit on the couch with me for a few."

Loki nodded and got up. He followed Tony over to the couch. He sat next to Tony, looking up at Thor as he came over.

"Come here." Tony said, holding his arms open.

Loki leaned against Tony's chest, allowing him to wrap his arms around him.

"Loki, I have to tell you something..." Thor said. "And it's going to upset you. Please don't hate me. That's all I ask."

"What is it?"

"Three and a half years ago, Asgard was invaded. We were attacked and many were killed. Among those killed, Loki...was mother." He spoke softly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Loki just stared at him. His eyes were wide. Tony could feel Loki's breathing speeding up. He began to rub Loki's back, holding him tighter.

"N-no. You're lying. Wh-when were there, before you...before you took me here, y-you said she wasn't feeling well. You're lying." Loki whispered.

Tony could tell he was beginning to panic.

"It's okay. It's okay, Loki. Just relax." Tony whispered.

"I only said that because I didn't want to tell you."

"No." He breathed, hiding his face in Tony's neck.

"I'm sorry, Loki." Thor told him.

"Shut up!" He cried. "Leave!"

Thor was taken aback by his sudden outburst.

"Leave me here and do not come back! I don't want you here! Leave!"

"Alright."

Thor left. Loki sobbed into Tony's shirt.

"It's okay." Tony whispered. "It's okay."

"No."

"Yes. It is. I promise. It'll be okay. I'm here. You're okay." Tony told him. "I know it hurts. I know. Believe me. But I'm here. I'm gonna help you."

"No...It's not fair..."

"I know it's not. It's not fair at all."

Tony kissed the top of his head, holding him tightly. Tony felt bad for Loki. He knew that finding out would hurt him, but he knew it was best not to keep it from him any longer.

Tony sat there, holding Loki until his breathing slowed and his crying stopped. Tony realized he'd fallen asleep. He didn't want to disturb Loki, so he didn't move. He turned on the tv and put a random movie on. He didn't really care much about the movie. He was more focused on making sure Loki was comfortable. He grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around Loki, resting his chin on Loki's head.

He felt bad for having Thor tell Loki, but he knew it was the right thing to do. But just because something is right, doesn't necessarily mean that he should have done it. He had no idea if he made the right choice.


	16. Disguise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long. I was so busy this week. Like I literally barely had time to breathe.

Loki didn't talk much over the next few days. He didn't really do much at all. He refused to eat, didn't really sleep, wouldn't shower, or even get out of bed really. Tony had tried and tried and tried, but Loki was just sad. He let Tony hug him and hold him and change his bandages, and he would listen when Tony talked to him, but that was it. It'd been three days since Loki had found out and he didn't seem to be getting any better. His nightmares seemed to have gotten worse and he was almost constantly in tears.

Right now he was asleep in Tony's arms. Tony ran his fingers through Loki's knotty hair, being careful not to pull on it and wake him up. Tony still wasn't sure if he'd made the right decision. He didn't know if telling Loki was the right thing to do.

He loved Loki. He really did. He'd figured it out the other day when Loki had asked him if he really loved him. When Tony had told him yes, he'd meant it. He'd grown fond of the god. He was a completely different person now than he was when he attacked the city. He had been sadistic and evil, but now, he was scared and broken. He was adorable and perfect and precious. Tony made a mental note to ask Loki about how he'd been controlled and forced to attack New York. He kept forgetting to bring it up.

Tony was pulled out of his thoughts by Loki making small noises in his sleep. He looked down at Loki. He seemed to be having another nightmare. He began moving around, his whimpers becoming louder. Tony gently shook him.

"Hey...Loki? Wake up. You gotta wake up, sweetheart."

He let out a low groan, rolling onto his stomach. He was still asleep.

"Wake up. You're having another nightmare." Tony tried shaking him again.

His noises were getting louder. He was crying out in what sounded like pain.

"Loki!" He yelled. "Wake up!"

He wasn't waking up. He sounded like he was in pain. Tony shook him harder but he still wouldn't wake up.

"Loki!”

That's when Tony saw it.

The bracelet.

It was lying next to him on the bed. He'd knocked it off in his sleep.

Tony grabbed the bracelet and got it back on Loki as fast as he could. As soon as the bracelet was back on, his eyes opened. He sat up fast, panting.

Tony put a hand on his shoulder and he gasped and flinched away.

"It's okay. Are you okay?" Tony told him. 

Tony didn't expect a response, so when Loki spoke, he was surprised.

"I...I remembered something." He breathed.

"You did? Was it just one thing or more or- are you okay?"

"I'm- I'm fine. It was just one thing." His voice was quiet. He didn't seem himself.

"What was it?"

Loki looked up at him. "I'd rather show you than talk about it. It- It's not- I don't u-understand it. I am unsure of when it happened. I-I need to understand it."

"Okay...How can you show me?"

Loki pulled the bracelet off again and set it down. He closed his eyes for a moment and reached out to his magic. Tony just watched him for a moment.

He opened his eyes again and reached over to Tony. He put his hand on top of Tony's.

All of a sudden, it was like he was inside of Loki's head. He could see everything through Loki's eyes. He could feel, see, touch, and hear everything that Loki did. His entire body ached. The floor was cold and hard. It was dark. He was lying in the corner, curled up and crying. He could see blood smeared across the floor. It looked like a cell of some sort. There was a metal door on the opposite side of the room. He was shaking but Tony couldn't tell if it was from the cold or the pain.

The door suddenly opened and a strange looking man stepped in. He wore garish robes that were gold, blue, and red. Loki made a small sound, closing his eyes. Tony couldn't see what was happening now but he heard footsteps getting closer. He felt a sharp pain. He'd grabbed Loki by his hair and pulled him up.

" _Look at me, slut."_ The man ordered. His voice sounded distant.

Loki forced his eyes open. He looked up at the man. Tony could feel the fear that Loki felt. It felt heavy. It made Tony feel sick.

He shoved Loki up against the wall, moving a hand to his throat. Tony felt Loki's air get cut off. He could feel the panic that Loki felt. He felt the weight of it on his chest, like he couldn't breathe. Tony didn't know why Loki had wanted to show this to him.

He tightened his grip on Loki's throat before suddenly throwing him to the floor. Loki let out a pained whimper but didn't move. He kicked Loki in the stomach and Tony felt the pain as it shot up Loki's side.

Why was he doing this to Loki? Why did he have to hurt him? There was no reason for it.

Loki looked up as the door opened again. Two guards entered the room, smirking as they looked down at Loki. Tony felt Loki's fear even more than he just did. His chest felt tighter and he felt like he was going to throw up.

Loki looked up at them and made a small noise. He pulled himself to his knees and grabbed the man's shirt. The sounds he made almost sounded as though he was begging, but he didn't actually speak. Tony didn't understand why Loki didn't say anything. He just whined and whimpered. Loki was scared of these two guards. Whatever it was that they did to him, he was terrified.

He kicked Loki again, causing him to fall back on the floor.

_"Shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch. If I hear another sound come out of you, you'll be punished again. Understand?"_

Loki nodded, tears in his eyes. If this wasn't considered a punishment, Tony wasn't sure he wanted to find out what was. This was bad enough.

One of the guards grabbed him and dragged him to his knees. He roughly grabbed Loki's chin, forcing his head back. Loki closed his eyes, but he was slapped the moment he did. He tasted blood. _"Keep your eyes open."_

Loki reluctantly opened his eyes, staring up at the two men. They both had one hand in their pants, pulling their cocks out. Loki couldn't stop his tears from falling. He just sat there on his knees, his head forcibly held in place.

 _"Do you think you'll ever take the stitches out, sir?"_ The one holding Loki asked, running his thumb over Loki's lip. Loki whimpered in pain as the guard put just a small amount of pressure on the skin around his lips.

Tony recalled Loki telling him that his lips had been sewn shut. That was why he wasn't talking. That's what the guard was talking about.

" _Once he learns his place."_ He spoke. Tony assumed that this man was the Grandmaster, Loki's master. _"I'll be back in an hour. Wreck him. I want blood."_

Loki's eyes went wide and he took in a sharp breath.

He was shoved to the floor and forced on his hands and knees. He could barely hold himself up. There were hands on him, all over him, touching him everywhere. Before he was even really aware of what was going on, one of them was pushing into him. He groaned, trying his hardest to ignore the pain.

The other one came around and grabbed him by his jaw again. He pulled Loki's head up, spitting in his face. He flinched, gasping softly when it landed near his eye.

Loki could feel the other one's thrusts. He tried to block it out but it hurt too badly. He tried his hardest not to cry. Tony didn't understand why they did this. Loki didn't deserve it. It hurt to watch. He wanted to kill all of them for doing this to Loki.

The one in front began to stroke himself. _"Too bad we can't use your mouth. I bet you'd look hot with my cock buried in your throat."_

Loki kept his eyes on the floor. Tony could feel all the pain that Loki felt. It was almost like he was in Loki's body. He didn't understand how any of this worked.

" _You're a little whore, aren't you? You just love being filled. Your little hole is always so eager."_ The one that was fucking him was talking now, slapping Loki's ass.

Loki was crying again, silently. Tony didn't want to see anymore. The Grandmaster has said he wanted blood. Tony didn't want to see that.

The guard tangled a hand in Loki's hair, holding his head in place as he stroked himself. After a few seconds, he released on Loki's face. Loki closed his eyes tightly, shuddering softly. Tony felt Loki's shame and humiliation. He also felt the smallest shred of anger.

 _"I think I gotta piss."_ Said the one in the back.

Loki started shaking his head, whining loudly.

And Tony was suddenly pulled out of it. He was back on the bed with Loki. Loki was laying back on the bed, panting hard. Tony stared at him but didn't do anything. His brain felt scrambled.

"I-I'm sorry. I....I couldn't hold it any longer." He managed through broken breaths.

Tony heard him but he was still in a daze. He was so out of it. It took Tony a few minutes to realize that Loki was crying. Tony finally came back. He moved over to Loki and hugged him. "I-it's okay. Why are you crying? Don't cry. It's okay."

Loki just shook his head.

"It's okay. I promise. You're safe."

"Y-you hate me now, don't you?" He whispered, pressing his forehead to Tony's chest.

"No. Not at all." Tony said softly, his head still spinning a little. "Why would I hate you?"

"Because you saw what happened to me...y-you saw some of what they did to me. I'm dirty and disgusting and used. I-I...You have to hate me now."

"Loki..." He sighed, taking a moment to figure out how to phrase his words. "Yes, I saw what happened to you, and let me tell you, I hate it. I want to tear them all apart for hurting you like that. But I don't hate you because of that. In fact, it makes me love you even more."

"Why?"

"Because it shows me just how strong you are, babe. You went through all of that, and you're still standing."

Loki didn't respond. He hugged Tony, climbing into his lap. He didn't seem himself. He was distant. He just sat there, in Tony's lap, hugging him.

Tony grabbed the bottle of liquor off the nightstand and drank it straight from the bottle. He didn’t even bother with a glass. He downed about half of it all at once.

Tony sat there holding him for nearly an hour, brushing his fingers through Loki's hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tony asked.

Loki shook his head.

"Okay. That's fine. Can I ask you something?"

Loki nodded.

"How did you show me that?"

"I asked the magic to give me some time. It gave me a little, but not enough." He breathed.

"Explain your magic to me. I want to understand it." Tony said, deciding that he'd try to take Loki's mind off of this.

Loki didn't pull away or anything. He continued to sit there in Tony's lap, with his head on Tony's chest as he nodded. "W-well, there are two types of magic. There is free magic, such as my own, and then there is elemental magic, such as Thor's. Free magic is not something you are born with, like elemental magic. A sorcerer who uses free magic has made a deal. I made a deal when I was young. I give it a host for the rest of my life, and in turn, it protects me and allows me to manipulate it. It's like a living being. It doesn't necessarily have a truly conscious mind, but in a way it does. It can create the contract and understand small things, but it's not like you or I. It's very primitive. It can be used to do virtually anything. Elemental magic is nothing like that. It is inanimate. You are born with it and it stays with you for your entire life. It can usually only do a few things. Like Thor, for example, he can really only call storms, and thunder, and lightening. His magic can't do much else. It seldom goes outside of it's element. That's not to say it isn't powerful though, because it is. It simply can't do as much."

Tony nodded. "Wow. It's a lot more complicated than I thought."

"Not really."

"Not to you. But I'm human so I don't really understand it."

"Oh."

Tony kissed the top of Loki's head. "So technically, if free magic is just something that becomes part of you, I could do it, right?"

"Well...Y-...no...I'm not sure. No mortal has ever done magic before. Their bodies can't handle the power, but you're different. Your body is powered by this light." He said, tapping Tony's chest. "If your body could contain the power, then yes. But since the contract between the sorcerer and the magic is for life, the magic would likely make you immortal like myself because humans don't have a long lifespan. So if—and that's a big if—your body could handle the power, theoretically, you could do it. It's unheard of, but you could."

"And what happens if my body can't handle the power?"

"You die."

Tony nodded. "Oh. And how would I like, make a deal?"

"I'm not telling you that."

Tony looked down at Loki. "Why's that?"

"Because there's a chance you could die and and I don't want you to die."

Tony laughed a little and kissed the top of Loki's head.

"Can I go back to sleep?" Loki asked.

"Yeah, of course. You don't have to ask."

Loki nodded and hugged Tony tighter.

"You're staying there?"

Loki nodded again.

"Alright. Get up for a second. Just let me get comfortable real quick." He told him, tapping Loki's thigh.

Loki shook his head.

Tony sighed. "Fine."

Loki closed his eyes as Tony began to play with his hair. He relaxed into Tony's embrace, eventually falling asleep.

This was the first time that Loki had spoke to Tony in three days. Tony was happy to finally hear his voice, but he definitely wasn't himself. He was distant and sad. Tony wished there was something he could do. He wanted to help Loki. He didn't know how to help him though.

He decided that when Loki woke up, he was going to make him get up and eat. He couldn't keep lying in bed and doing nothing.

Loki shifted slightly in his sleep and Tony adjusted his arms around him. He wasn't exactly comfortable, but as long as Loki was happy, he was happy too.

* * *

It was almost dark out when Loki woke up again. He looked up at Tony who seemed to be asleep. He leaned up a little and kissed Tony, before burying his face in Tony's neck.

"Good morning." Tony spoke softly.

He felt Loki jump. Loki didn't know he was awake. "H-hi."

"What's wrong?" Tony asked.

"Nothing. I-I just thought you were sleeping. And it’s not morning."

Tony nodded. "You're not sitting here all night again. You're getting up."

Loki shook his head.

"Yes. You have to eat. I'm making you get up."

"No."

"Yes, Loki."

"But I'm comfortable here." He pouted.

"I know. But you can come back in here later. You have to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

Tony sighed and grabbed the bottle of bourbon from where he’d left it. He finished what was in there and looked at Loki. "Loki, if you don't come eat, I'm going to go in the other bedroom and you can sit here alone."

"No!" He whined. "That's not fair."

"Come on."

"I don't want to."

Tony sighed. "You can either sit here alone until you decide to come out or you can come eat now."

"Fine." He mumbled.

"You'll come eat?"

Loki nodded, glaring at Tony.

"Good boy."

Loki groaned, allowing Tony to pull him off the bed and to his feet.

Tony looked at him and kissed his forehead. “Don't be mad. You have to eat."

"I don't want to." Loki muttered, glaring at the floor. "But you're being mean and you're gonna leave me here if I don't."

"I'm not being mean." Tony told him. "All I said was that if you didn't come out and eat now, you could sit here alone until you decided to come out. That's not being mean."

"Whatever."

"Come on." Tony pulled him out of the bedroom and down the hall. He brought him out to the kitchen and sat him down on one of the stools.

Loki watched Tony grab some stuff out of the fridge and put in on a plate. Loki couldn't see what exactly he was doing, but it looked like he was putting a lot on the plate . He placed the plate in front of Loki. There were strawberries and cheesecake and those cookies, and it had pieces of chocolate on it too.

"What's all this for?"

Tony kissed the side of his head. "I googled what to feed sad little norse gods and this is what it told me."

Loki looked up at him, confused.

"You said you liked sweet foods so I thought this would cheer you up at least a little." Tony explained, handing him a fork.

He held the fork, staring at the plate for a few minutes.

"I'm not little." He mumbled.

Tony laughed. "Okay."

"I'm taller than you."

"Sure you are."

"I'm not little."

"Keep telling yourself that."

Loki pouted. "I'm not."

"Mhm..." Tony said. "Eat."

Loki took a small bite of cheesecake and looked over at Tony.

"Good boy."

They sat in silence for a little while. Loki ate and Tony watched him. Tony got up and grabbed a new bottle of alcohol. He didn’t bother with a glass again. It was one of those days where he just wanted the whole bottle.

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

Loki turned to him, looking at him, but not meeting his eyes. "Am I fat?"

"No. Not at all. You're too thin. You need to gain weight. It's not healthy."

"Master says I'm fat. He doesn't let me eat."

Tony sighed, sitting back down next to Loki. "Well, he's a dick. He likes hurting you."

"Oh. Okay."

Tony played with his hair as he slowly ate a little more.

He pushed the plate away. "'m full."

Loki had actually eaten a good amount. He leaned against Tony's shoulder, hugging him.

"Will you take a shower?" Tony asked. "Or is that too much right now?"

"Only if you come with me."

Tony sighed. "I'll sit in the bathroom with you but I'm not getting in the shower with you."

Loki nodded. "Okay."

Loki followed Tony to his bathroom. He started the shower, making it warm but not too hot. Loki took his clothes off and dropped them on the floor. Tony avoided looking at Loki, just holding the shower door open for him.

He stepped inside and Tony sat down on the toilet seat, watching Loki. He didn't mean to find Loki attractive, it's just that he is. He's gorgeous. Tony watched Loki as he stood under the stream of warm water, he watched it drip down his back and legs. Tony didn't mean to get hard either. He tried to look away but he kept looking back. He usually wasn’t affected this badly. He had drank a lot. He had gone through almost two bottles of bourbon. That must be affecting him. He wasn’t drunk, maybe buzzed but he was so used to it that it didn’t feel any different.

Loki bent over and that image went straight to his dick. Tony couldn't take his eyes off. He tried to think of anything else. He told Loki no sex, and here he was getting hard from watching Loki shower. He stood up and turned around so he couldn't see Loki. Tony sighed in frustration. Why did his stupid shower have to have clear doors?

"Tony?" Loki called.

"Mhm?"

"My hair is knotted again. Do you have a brush?"

"Uh, yeah." He said, grabbing the brush from the cabinet.

He didn't want to go near Loki, but he had to. He didn't want Loki to see him hard.

He walked over to Loki and opened the door. He held out the brush, looking away.

"Are you alright?" Loki asked as he took the item from Tony's hand.

"Uh huh." Tony told him, quickly moving away and closing the door.

He felt Loki's eyes on him, but he didn't turn back around.

"You're acting strangely. Did I do something?" Loki asked. Tony wasn't sure if he was doing this intentionally or not. He couldn't tell. But he assumed it was unintentional because he could hear the genuine uncertainty in Loki's voice.

"No. You're okay. You didn't do anything. I'm fine."

"Oh. Okay..." He said softly. "W-would you help me with my hair?"

Tony bit his lip. "Uh, yeah. Sure. Now or when you're done?"

"Now, please. I can't get the brush through it."

Tony nodded and opened the shower door. Loki stepped over to him and held the brush out. He let the door fall against his shoulder as he took the brush from Loki. He hoped that Loki wouldn't turn around and see how hard he was. He knew that if Loki saw, he'd want to help. And Tony knew he wouldn't be able to say no.

"Did you use conditioner?" Tony asked.

"What's that?"

"You have hair this long and you don't know what conditioner is?"

Loki nodded. "Is that a bad thing? Am I supposed to know what it is?"

"It's not a bad thing. It's just surprising. It makes your hair really soft and easy to brush. It's in the corner over there in the blue bottle."

"Oh. Can you put it in? I don't want to do it wrong."

"Hand me the bottle." Tony sighed.

Tony looked away as Loki went to grab it.

"You're annoyed with me." Loki stated, handing him the bottle.

"I'm not annoyed with you."

"Yes you are. You sound annoyed."

"I'm not annoyed with you, Loki. I promise." He said. "Turn around."

Loki did as he was told and turned back around. Tony worked the conditioner into his hair.

"Let it sit for a moment and then rinse it out. Then try brushing it again."

Loki nodded.

Tony closed the door and sat back down. Thankfully Loki hadn't noticed he was hard. But standing there with Loki naked like that made it worse. He tried to think of anything else but it didn't work. He couldn't go somewhere to take care of it either because Loki would notice if he left and then get worried.

"Oh wow. It really works." Loki said.

"Mhm."

Loki turned the water off and stepped out. Tony handed him a towel, heading into the bedroom quickly.

Loki watched him, confused by his behavior. He couldn't figure out what what wrong with Tony.

Loki dried off and followed after Tony. Tony was sitting on the bed, his head in his hands. He seemed upset. Or maybe frustrated.

"Tony?"

"What?" He snapped.

"What's wrong?" Loki asked, moving in front of Tony.

"Nothing is wrong."

"There's something wrong. You're acting strangely. I said you're not annoyed with me, but something is clearly wrong."

"I am fine, Loki. Just go get dressed."

That's when Loki noticed it. Tony was hard. That's why he was annoyed. "Oh...Tony-"

"Dammit, Loki. Just- Just put clothes on."

"No." He said softly. He dropped his towel, standing in front of Tony. "I know you don't want to hurt me, and I know you said no, but..."

He took Tony's hands and placed them on his hips.

"I want you to do whatever you please."

"No."

"Yes, Tony. I'm telling you that I want it. Please.”

“No. Loki, I said no. I told you we couldn’t do it. I can’t go back on what I said.” Tony told him, not looking up from the floor.

“You made the rules. You can break them. I am not afraid.”

Tony squeezed his hips and pulled him closer. He rested his forehead on Loki’s stomach. He pressed his lips to Loki’s damp skin. Loki put on hand on the back of Tony’s head, playing with his hair.

He kissed along Loki’s stomach, moving up until he got to his feet. He kissed up Loki’s neck, eventually reaching his lips. He pressed his lips to Loki’s, pushing his tongue into Loki’s mouth.

He pushed Loki down on the bed and climbed on top of him. He held him still while he kissed him. Loki didn’t know why Tony had changed his mind so quickly but he wasn’t worried. Tony wouldn’t hurt him.

Tony’s lips felt nice on his skin. He felt safe in Tony’s arms.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Tony whispered in his ear.

“You won’t, I promise. Please, Tony. Just take what you need.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Tony kissed him softly, sliding his hands down Loki’s sides. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Tony.”

Tony was grinding against Loki as he moved his hands along Loki’s skin. He wanted to fuck Loki but he didn’t know if that was a good idea. He didn’t want to go too far. But it’d been so long. He hadn’t been with anyone since a few weeks before Loki arrived. Him and Pepper didn’t sleep together. He just slept with people from parties. It’s been far too long. Loki was amazing. He was perfect. He was beautiful. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, but he was was the usual. Loki looked even more beautiful than usual.

“I want you.” Tony panted.

“Take what you need.” Loki told him. “I’ll do anything you ask.”

“I want to fuck you.”

“So fuck me.”

Tony groaned. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.” Loki said, reaching up and placing his hand on Tony’s cheek.

“Do you want it?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Tony. I want it. I trust you. I want you to take what you need to make you feel better.”

Tony nodded. “Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there’s a small look into the things Loki doesn’t remember Comment what you think is going to happen


	17. Lifeline

Tony was careful not to scare Loki as he reached into the drawer. He was going to do this. Loki was okay. He wanted it. Tony needed it. It'd been so long. He didn't care about the rules he'd put in place. He didn't care that he'd told Loki that they couldn't have sex. Loki was underneath him, looking absolutely gorgeous, willingly giving himself to Tony. He'd deal with whatever the consequences might be later. Right now, he just wanted to be inside of Loki. Loki had begged him to do it for so long and Tony had wanted to do it, he just didn't want to hurt Loki. But Tony was finally giving in. He couldn't hold back any longer.

He grabbed the lube, making sure Loki could see everything he was doing. He moved between Loki's legs, pulling his shirt off and tossing it to the floor. He opened the bottle and poured some onto his fingers.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Tony asked.

Loki nodded, spreading his legs further.

"I need words, Loki. I need you to tell me you want it."

"I do want it, Tony. I trust you. Please." Loki whispered.

"Okay..."

He leaned over Loki, placing small kisses along his stomach as he pushed one finger into Loki. He whimpered, but Tony was unsure if it was a pained noise or a pleasurable one.

"I don't want to hurt you, babe."

"You won't. I promise." He told him. "I want this, Tony. I want you inside me. Take what you need and make me yours."

Tony pushed a second finger in and slowly began to move them in and out. Loki bit his lip, crossing his arms over his face.

Tony had to make this feel as good as possible for Loki. He began to slowly stroke Loki as he stretched him. Loki moaned softly, his hips jerking up.

Tony didn't know if this was a good idea, but he wasn't going to stop. He needed it and Loki needed it too. Besides, it didn't have to happen again. It only had to happen this one time.

Loki was still unaccustomed to feeling pleasure, even though the few times he and Tony had done anything, Tony had made sure he felt amazing. He was more familiar with it now, but it was still somewhat foreign. It felt strange to feel good during sex, but he wasn't scared. He trusted Tony. He wanted him and he loved him. He wasn't sure why Tony decided to change his mind again, but he wasn't going to complain about it. He's finally getting what he wanted. He will finally belong to Tony and Tony only.

Loki gasped when Tony bent his fingers at just the right angle. He bit down on his arm to keep from being too loud. Tony added a third finger, thrusting them in and out, scissoring him open.

"Tony, please." Loki whispered. "Take me."

"Are you sure?" He asked again.

"Yes. I am absolutely sure...I want to feel you. I want to be yours."

"You're already mine." He spoke, pulling his fingers out and stopped stroking Loki. He whined softly, biting his lip.

Loki watched Tony push his pants down and grab the bottle again. He poured the contents into his hand and began to stroke his cock with it. Loki stared at him with glassy eyes, completely in awe. The man before him was truly something else. He never thought he'd find himself actually enjoying the presence of a mortal, but here he was.

He wiped his hand on the sheet, grasping Loki's thighs. He spread Loki's legs apart and lined himself up. He met Loki's eyes as he pushed inside until he was buried within him. Loki let out a long moan, closing his eyes.

Tony leaned over him, not moving just yet. He kissed the corner of Loki's lips, moving down his neck a little.

"Is this okay?" He breathed.

Loki nodded, not sure if he'd be able to form a proper sentence. Tony hadn't even started moving yet and it already felt amazing. Tony's cock stretched him so wonderfully, he felt perfect, like Tony's cock was made to be inside his body.

He reached up and wrapped his arms around the back of Tony's neck. Tony's face was buried in Loki's neck, breathing heavily as he slowly began to rock back and forth.

"Oh shit." Tony panted. "You feel so good, baby. You're amazing."

Loki tried to hold back a moan. He felt wonderful. He felt alive again.

Tony pulled almost all the way out and thrust back in hard, sinking his teeth into Loki's shoulder at the same time. Loki cried out, raking his nails down Tony's back.

"O-Oh god... _Tony..._ I-I need more. Please." He begged, moving his hips to meet Tony's thrusts.

Tony did as Loki wished. He went harder, Loki cried out with every thrust.

Neither of them heard the door open. Tony was focused on the sounds Loki that escaped Loki's lips and Loki was overwhelmed by the pleasure Tony was making him feel. Neither of them looked up until a knife went flying between them, burying itself in the opposite wall. Tony stopped moving, quickly looking towards the door and Loki froze, closing his eyes tightly.

Loki was terrified. He feared that his master had found him and was going to take him back. But the voice he heard was different from his master's. He knew it, but he didn't recognize it. A woman's voice. "What the hell?"

"Shit." Tony sighed. "Do you not know how to knock on a goddamn door?"

He pulled away from Loki and covered him with the blanket. Loki still hadn't opened his eyes. Tony needed to pull him out of whatever was going through his head, but he couldn't do it while she was there.

"What the hell, Tony?" She said again. "What is this? Why the fuck is he here? In your bed, no less? He's got you under his magic, doesn't he?"

"The real question is, what the hell are _you_ doing here?" Tony snapped, pulling his pants on. He wasn't worried about a shirt. He didn't care.

"Did you find hi- what the fuck? Is that-"

"Oh great! Two of you!"

Loki knew the second voice as well, but he was too scared to open his eyes. He stayed still and listened to the conversation.

"Tony, you'd better start explaining whatever the hell is going on here..." She spoke.

Tony stood between Loki and them. He didn't know what they'd do. "I don't have to explain myself to either of you."

"When I walk in on you fucking the guy who tried to take over the goddamn world, uh, yeah, you do."

"They were fucking? He looks dead." Barton mumbled.

"Why is he here? Is he controlling you?"

She stepped into the room but Tony blocked her from going any closer. "Stay away from him."

"Why are you protecting him?"

"Because I am."

"Why is he here?"

"Because he is."

Barton had his bow strung and ready, pointing right at Loki. "He's controlling you, isn't he? Like he did to me?"

"No. He's not fucking controlling me. He can't use magic anymore."

"Then tell us what's going on."

Tony sighed. He didn't really have much of a choice. "Give me five minutes. I'll be out in a few and I'll explain it to you."

"You'd better, because if someone doesn't tell me what the hell is going on here, someone is going to get hurt, and Tony, it's not going to be you."

He nodded. "Okay. Go."

They left the bedroom and closed the door.

Tony turned back around and ran a hand through his hair. "Shit."

Loki still hadn't moved.

"Loki? It's okay. They're gone for now. You're safe."

Loki slowly opened his eyes, staring up at Tony.

Tony sat on the edge of the bed, playing with Loki's hair. "Come here."

Loki sat up and let Tony pull him into his arms.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Loki put his forehead on Tony's chest. "I should've sensed them coming."

"It's okay. It's not your fault at all- Jarvis, why didn't you say they were here?"

_"I did, sir. You didn't answer."_

He sighed. He kissed the top of Loki's head. "Get dressed for me. We're gonna have to go explain this to them."

Loki frowned. "Oh. Okay."

"I know you don't want to but we have to."

Loki nodded, sliding off the bed, and getting on his knees. "Can I help you finish at least?"

He leaned down and kissed Loki's head. "Not now. Maybe later. Just get dressed."

Tony stood up and found a shirt and pants for Loki. Loki pulled them on and stood up.

"You ready?"

Loki shook his head. "I don't want to. They're gonna be mean to me."

"They won't be mean to you."

Loki nodded.

Tony took his hand and led him out to the living room. Loki stayed behind Tony as they got closer. They were both watching Loki like they were ready to attack at any second.

"I'll explain everything to you. _Do not_ try to hurt him. Just listen."

Tony sat down on the couch and Loki sat next to him, pulling his knees up and curling into Tony's side.

"About two weeks ago, Thor came here with Loki and asked me if he could stay with me. I said no originally, but after he told me _why_ , I said yes. I trusted him even less than you when he got here, but he's not the same as he was." Tony explained, turning to Loki. "Do you want to say what happened or do you want me to?"

"You." He whispered. Loki watched them, holding onto Tony tightly.

"Okay...So, correct me if I get anything wrong, but after New York, Odin had sold Loki to the ruler of some far off planet without anyone knowing. He raped Loki and turned him into a slave. He spent five years being tortured and abused and assaulted before Thor found him and brought him to Asgard, but Odin planned to send him back, so Thor brought him here. And that's it really. He's been here since."

"And you believe it?" She asked.

"At first, not really, but once I saw him and how he behaved, I believed it."

"So he's not going to try and kill any of us again?" Barton spoke.

"No. He can't use magic anymore."

"Why?"

Tony turned back to Loki. "Why? I'm not very clear on it."

"If I try to use it, it attacks the other magic in my head." Loki mumbled.

"What other magic?"

"My master blocked off my memories of the last two years. My magic doesn't like the other magic being in me."

"Does anyone else know about this?" Natasha asked.

"Steve."

"He didn't say anything."

"Because I asked him not to. And I'm going to ask you the same thing."

Barton sighed, looking over at Loki. "I won't say anything."

"Alright." Natasha said.

"Thank you." Tony spoke. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"You weren't answering your phone, so we called Pepper and she said that you guys split up. awe figured you were sulking or something here so we came to check on you, and well..."

"Oh."

"Tony, can I talk to you alone for a moment?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah."

Tony got up and followed her into the kitchen. Loki watched them, not really wanting to be away from Tony.

They stood in the kitchen, Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Why would you fuck someone who was raped?"

"Huh?"

"He was raped. Why would you fuck him? Sex is like torture for someone like that."

"He begged me for it for a while. I told him no over and over again but I finally said yes, since he's been doing better."

"Mhm. And what happened to his arm?"

"He burned himself because he thought I was mad at him." Tony told her. "Why are you acting like you care so much all of a sudden? You literally just threw a knife straight at his head."

"That was before I knew what he went through. I thought he was controlling you or something."

"Mhmm. Well, I'm going to go back to Loki." Tony said. "I am fine and I don't need to be checked on, so you two can leave."

Tony poured a glass of wine and walked back over to where Loki was sitting. He hadn't moved or looked up at all. Tony sat next to him and pulled him close. Loki put his head on Tony's shoulder. Tony handed him the glass, brushing his fingers through Loki's hair.

"I think you'll like that better than the other one." Tony told him.

Barton stood up and looked at them. "Answer your phone next time."

Tony nodded, watching as he followed Natasha into the elevator. Once the doors closed, he turned his attention back to Loki.

"What is it?" He asked, holding the glass up.

"Wine."

"I like wine."

Loki took a small sip and Tony smiled at him. He kissed Loki's head. "I figured my little prince would prefer wine over the other stuff."

"I'm not a prince anymore."

"Yes, you are. A beautiful, amazing, adorable prince."

Loki smiled and bit his lip. He set the glass down and climbed on top of Tony's lap.

"I'm sorry they came here. I know you didn't want to have to explain it to another person."

"It's not your fault." Loki told him. "I'm just happy they listened and didn't try to hurt me. I was afraid those two especially would try to hurt me after what I did."

"I wouldn't let them hurt you. Did you tell Barton you'd been controlled when you took control of him?"

"He already knows. That's why he holds less of a grudge against me. He was in my head as much as I was in his."

Tony nodded. "Oh. Makes sense."

Tony kissed the top of Loki's head.

"Tony?"

"Yes, babe?"

Loki bit his lip and trailed his hand down Tony's bare stomach. "You never got to finish..."

"That's true." Tony stated. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I want to finish what we started."

Tony kissed him softly.

"Remind me where we left off?" Tony whispered against Loki's lips.

Loki picked up his glass again and finished it. He pushed one hand inside of Tony's pants. He stroked him, kissing his neck. "I believe you were fucking my brains out in your bed..."

"Mmm...That I was." He groaned, his hands sliding down to Loki's ass. "Lay down for me, babe."

Loki laid on his back on the couch, Tony leaning over him. He slid his hands up Loki's shirt, squeezing his sides and playing with his nipples before moving to push his pants off.

Loki kicked his pants off and pulled his shirt over his head. Tony pulled his pants down and stroked himself, leaning down to kiss Loki.

Loki spread his legs for Tony, ready for Tony to take him.

"You sure you want this?"

"Yes, Tony. Please. I want you to finish."

Tony nodded and began to push into Loki again. Loki let out a breathy moan as Tony sunk into him. He held onto Tony tightly, trying to move his hips with Tony's.

"Oh god." He panted. "I-I love you."

"I love you too, babe. You feel so good. You're amazing." Tony told him, nipping at his neck.

He sucked dark marks into Loki's neck, pulling more and more moans from him.

"T-Tony, please." Loki begged. "Please."

"Please, what? What do you need?"

"You."

"I'm right here."

Loki bit his lip, digging his nails into Tony's shoulders. "Please!"

"I'm here. I've got you. You're so good, baby. You feel so good around my cock. God, Loki, you're so good..."

He whined, biting down on his lip.

"You're perfect. Absolutely perfect. You feel so good, sweetheart."

"I-I love you." Loki told him.

"I love you too...Shit, 'm gonna cum." He groaned.

Loki jerked his hips, letting out a long whine. "M-make me yours, Tony. Cum inside of me..."

He started stroking Loki at the same pace as his thrusts. Loki closed his eyes, his brain overwhelmed by pleasure. The combination of Tony's thrusts and his hand stroking him brought Loki to his release. He cried out as he came, spilling across his own stomach as well as Tony's.

The feeling of Loki tightening around him as he came, brought Tony to his release. He spilled his seed deep inside of Loki, riding it out. Loki let out small whimpers as Tony's cock continued to move inside of him as he came down from his orgasm. He could feel Tony's cum inside of him as he pulled out.

Loki tried to get his breathing under control. Tony wiped his and Loki's stomach off with his pants. Tony leaned over him and kissed him softly. "Are you okay? Are you with me?"

Loki nodded, opening his eyes slowly. Tony kissed his forehead.

"That was amazing." Tony breathed.

Loki nodded slowly. "Thank you..."

Tony kissed him, lying down beside him. "I suppose we should shower now."

Loki shook his head.

"I came inside of you. That can't be comfortable."

"I'm used to it." Loki mumbled, nuzzling his head into Tony's chest.

"Well, you shouldn't be. So come on, shower time."

"No. I just took one." Loki told him. "It doesn't bother me. I'll do it later."

"Why doesn't it bother you?" Tony asked. He didn't know if he really wanted to know, but he was curious. He didn't understand why Loki was so okay with having cum inside of him. Tony couldn't imagine it felt nice.

"It just doesn't."

"Well, that's too bad. Come on. You're taking a shower. I will carry you in there if I have to."

"No!" Loki whined. "I just wanna lay here. Please, Tony. I'll take one when I wake up."

Tony sighed. "Fine. As soon as you wake up."

————

Tony was woken up by the sun streaming through the windows. He groaned and covered his eyes with his arm.

He reached to wrap his other arm around Loki, but he didn't feel him. He moved his hand around but didn't find him.

"Loki?" He said softly.

He got no response. He sat up and looked around. He didn't see him.

"Loki?" He called.

Still no answer. He got up and walked into the kitchen.

"Loki? Where are you?"

He headed towards the bedroom, stopping when he saw Loki kneeling in front of the balcony door. He was staring through the glass, seeming almost like he was in a trance.

"Loki? Hey, are you okay?"

He didn't answer. Tony could see that he was visibly shaking. He didn't want to scare Loki by touching him but he wasn't responding to Tony calling his name.

"Loki?" He tried again.

He finally whispered something but Tony couldn't hear what he said.

"What?"

"I feel him." Loki mumbled, barely loud enough for Tony to hear.

"You feel who? What happened?"

"My master. He's close. I feel him, Tony. He's coming."

Loki didn't look at him. He was just staring out the window. "I won't let him hurt you. I promise."

"He'll kill you if you get in the way of him having me." He whispered.

"I won't let him have you."

"He's coming. I can feel it. He's not far."

"Loki, look at me." Tony told him. Loki finally turned around to look up at him. "Do you think he's found you?"

"He's...close."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. I-I don't know how to explain it. I just feel it." He mumbled.

"Okay. Would you like to go somewhere else?"

"What do you mean?" Loki asked, on the verge of panicking. "I-I don't want to leave you."

"No, no, you won't be leaving me. I'm saying that I can find somewhere to take you and we can stay there for a little while."

"Oh. Okay."

"Do you want to do that? Do you think it'll keep him away?"

Loki nodded.

"Alright." Tony held his hand out to Loki. Loki took it and got to his feet. Tony kissed his forehead and brushed his hair out of his face. "Alright. We can do that. I want you to go take a shower and get dressed in something comfortable. I'm going to go down to my workshop to figure this out. Come down there when you're done, okay?"

Loki nodded again.

"Good boy. We'll leave either tonight or tomorrow morning."


	18. Nervous Breakdown

Loki sat in the kitchen, picking at the eggs that Tony had made him. Tony had gone to go pack some stuff up. He said that they'd leave in a little while. He told Loki that they were going to Paris. It was far away and he thought that no one would look for them there.

Loki wasn't really hungry. He was too busy worrying about his master. He could only imagine the pain he'd feel once his master found him. He'd be punished worse than ever before.

He stared at the burns on his arm. Tony told him that he wanted to let them get some air and that he'd rebandage them before they left. They would definitely leave scars in some places. The burns hurt, but he knew that whatever punishment his master would give him would hurt even worse. He was scared. As much as he wanted Tony to protect him, he knew that if Tony did, he'd die and Loki didn't want that. His master would likely force Loki

to watch him kill Tony, not because Tony had helped and protected him, but because Loki loved him and Loki wasn't allowed to have things that made him happy. Loki didn't want that to happen but he didn't know what to do.

He pushed his plate away and put his head down on the table. He didn't want Tony to get hurt. He hated this. He didn't understand why this had to happen to him. It was unfair.

Tony came out, carrying three large bags and a few small things. He set the bags down, bringing the smaller items with him as he came over to Loki. Tony placed the stuff to wrap Loki's arm on the table.

"You done, babe?" He asked.

Loki nodded, watching as Tony came around to grab the plate.

"You didn't really eat much."

"I'm sorry...I'm just not all that hungry right now." He whispered.

"That's okay." Tony told him, eating some of the food that Loki had left behind.

He watched Loki, trying to figure out what was wrong. He seemed sad. Or maybe worried. Tony figured that it was because of the events of the previous morning. Tony was taking him to Paris to hopefully throw The Grandmaster off. He'd found a nice villa that they should be comfortable in. They'd be leaving within the next two hours most likely.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked, coming around to sit next to Loki.

He just shrugged.

"Do you still think he's going to find you?"

"He will, eventually. I know he'll hurt me when he does, but I'm scared of what he'll do to you..." Loki told him quietly.

"I won't let him hurt you, Loki. What do you think he'll do to me?"

"He'll torture and kill you."

"I won't let him. I promise. It'll be okay."

"Nothing will stop him from getting what he wants." He spoke.

"I will."

Loki just made a noise and put his head back on the table. Tony reached over and ran his fingers through Loki's hair.

"You ready for me to wrap your arm?"

Loki nodded and turned to Tony. He held his arm out, watching as Tony grabbed the roll of bandages and the cream he put on it.

"Tony?"

"Mm?"

"What will you tell your friends?" He asked.

“About what?"

"About having to leave."

Tony sighed. "Well, the ones you know about you, I'll tell the truth, and the others, I'll just tell I'm going on vacation for a little while or something."

"Oh. Okay."

He leaned in and kissed Loki's forehead as he began to wrap the bandages around Loki's arm.

Once he was done, he put the things he needed into a bag and stood up. He took Loki's hand and helped him to his feet.

"You ready?”

* * *

"Tony! Wake up! I'm bored!"

Tony groaned and opened his eyes.

Loki was sitting on his lap, staring down at him. He seemed to be in a better mood than when they left.

"What's up?"

"I'm bored and you fell asleep."

"Alright. Well, I'm awake now." Tony said, reaching up to mess with Loki's hair. "Where are we?"

Loki looked over at the window. "Somewhere above...somewhere."

Tony nodded.

"When will we be there?" Loki asked.

"I don't know. Probably a few more hours."

"I'm bored." He whined.

Tony smiled at him, pulling him down for a kiss. "What do you want to do, babe?"

"I don't know."

Tony shifted slightly, putting his hands on Loki's sides. "Do you wanna watch a movie?"

"No."

"Okay...Are you hungry?"

"Mmm...A little." He said.

"Would you like to eat something?"

"Not really."

"Well, would you like to- why do I have a feeling that there's only one thing you want to do?"

Loki shrugged and leaned against Tony's chest. "I don't know what I want to do."

Tony had a feeling that the moment he said something sexual, Loki would immediately say yes.

Tony decided to try it. He wasn't going to do it, but he wanted to know if he was right. "Do you wanna get on your knees for me, sweetheart?"

He felt Loki tense slightly. "Oh. Um...Alright."

"Do you not want to?"

"I mean, not particularly, but if you wish me to, then I will." Loki said quickly.

Tony was wrong. Of course, he was wrong.

"No, no, I-I was only saying that because I thought that's what you were trying to do. I wasn't going to do it anyway."

Loki tilted his head to the side. "If you want me to please you, I will do it."

"No, I don't want you to. I thought you were doing that thing you do. Whether you wanted to or not, I didn't actually plan on doing anything."

"Oh." Loki said. "So you don't want me to do that?"

"No."

"Oh. Okay."

Tony kissed him softly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"Are you sure?" Loki asked. "I will do it if you wish. I belong to you."

Tony knew he messed up. He shouldn't have assumed that's what Loki was doing. Now Loki was upset.

"Yes, I'm sure. You don't belong to me, Loki. I'm never going to make you do anything you don't want to do. I shouldn't have said that."

"Alright." He said softly, hugging Tony and hiding his face in Tony's neck. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Tony played with Loki's hair as they sat there in silence for a little while.

"Tony?"

"Yes, babe?"

"C-can I have food?" Loki asked.

Tony raised an eyebrow. Loki had never actually asked for a meal. He usually just waits to eat until Tony tells him to. Tony gave him a small smile. "Of course. Come on."

He brought Loki over to a table. It was a plane, so there wasn't much space to move around, but there was enough space for both of them to sit down. He put together some snacks, just some bread and crackers, and chips. He found a few cookies as well.

He handed Loki the plate and sat with him.

"Thank you." Loki said as he took one of the cookies and began to eat it slowly.

"I'm proud of you." Tony told him.

Loki looked up at him and tilted his head to the side. "What for?"

"You asked for food. I'm proud of you. You've never asked me for food. You usually just eat when I tell you to." Tony told him.

"Oh." He whispered. "It's not a big deal."

"Yes, it is. It means you're getting better. It means you trust me enough to ask me for it."

"Of course I trust you, Tony. But I wouldn't say that I'm getting better. I-I just ignore the stuff I've been taught and do the opposite."

"You are getting better, babe. When your brother left you with me, you were afraid of everything, and you didn't trust me, and you thought I was going to hurt you, but you've come a long way from there. You're doing so much better."

"If you say so..."

"I do say so."

Loki just nodded and ate a little more. He seemed to be thinking. Tony watched him, not saying anything to him.

"Tony?"

"Mm?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

Loki looked up at him. "For helping me. And for being there for me. And for loving me, and protecting me, and making me happy, and making me feel safe."

"Of course. You deserve it."

Loki shook his head a little. "No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No...Tony, I've done so many things wrong. I've hurt so many people. I've caused so many problems, so much distress. The only thing I deserved was what happened to me. And yet you still help me and protect me. You've given me more than I deserve-"

"Shut up." Tony growled.

Loki jumped, taken aback by Tony's tone.

"You deserved none of that. The things you did are in the past. They don't matter anymore. You're different now. You've changed. Don't you _ever_ fucking say that you deserved any of that shit." He told him, raising his voice. "He tortured you. He raped you. He put you through things that no one should have to go through. That shouldn't have happened to you. There's no possible way you can justify what he did, how he treated you. I don't ever want to hear you say that again! Got it?"

"Okay." He breathed, looking down at the table. "I-I won't say it."

Loki didn't look up at Tony. He didn't move. Loki had tears in his eyes. He wanted to cry. He didn't mean to upset Tony. He just said how he felt. Tony had yelled at him.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Tony asked.

"I-I didn't mean to make you mad. I shouldn't have said anything. Please don't be angry with me."

"I'm not mad at you, Loki, I promise. I don't want you to think I am. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just don't want you to say that because it's not true."

Loki wiped at his eyes. "Oh. Are you sure you're not mad at me? You sounded mad. I don't want you to be mad."

"I promise I'm not mad. It's okay."

"Alright."

Tony gave him a small smile. "Finish eating and then we can go watch a movie until we land. How does that sound?"

Loki nodded.

Tony figured it would be a few more hours. They'd only been in the air for about three hours, so there was still another four or so hours.

Tony had made sure that the only people on the plane were him, Loki, and the pilot so that no one really saw Loki. It was also easier on Loki if there weren't a lot of people around. He didn't want to take the chance of Loki getting scared by a lot of people being there.

He honestly didn't mean to yell at Loki, he just got annoyed. Loki didn't deserve any of that. He just wanted Loki to understand that.

* * *

Loki had fallen asleep in his lap while watching a movie about an hour ago. The jet had just landed, and now Tony was trying to figure out how he was going to get Loki out of the plane and into the car that was waiting. he didn't want to wake Loki up since he was sleeping so peacefully, but he didn't know if he'd be able to carry him. He'd have to try though.

He was currently waiting for their luggage to be unloaded and put in the car before taking Loki out. He still didn't want anyone seeing Loki, even though they were in France now. He didn't want to risk it.

He lifted Loki into his arms, trying his hardest not to move him around too much. He carefully carried him out the door and down to the car. He set Loki in the back seat, laying him down across it. He covered Loki with his jacket before getting in the front seat.

He started the car and pulled out his phone. He looked up the directions to the nearest food store, knowing that they had no food in the new place yet.

He started driving, following the directions that his phone gave him. It was a thirty minute drive to the food store and another thirty to the villa. It was actually just outside the city, not in it.

He glanced back at Loki, making sure he was still asleep.

He hoped Loki would stay asleep long enough for him to run into the food store and come back.

No such luck though, because a few minutes later, he heard Loki groan and softly call out his name. Loki held his hand up, reaching for Tony.

"Hey." He said, reaching back to hold Loki's hand.

"Where are we?"

"The plane landed a little while ago. Right now I'm heading to the food store and then we're going to go to the new place."

"Okay." He said, pulling himself into a sitting position. He didn't let go of Tony's hand. "Are you gonna make me wait in the car?"

"Well, I mean, I was planning on you being asleep, so I could run in real quick, but now that you're awake...I- I don't think you'll want to come in. There's gonna be people. I don't want you getting scared."

"I don't want to be alone. Can I please come with you? I won't get scared. You'll be with me..."

"I...I guess. I don't see why not. When we get there, uh, just put my jacket on and put the hood up. Okay?"

Loki nodded. "Thank you."

Tony squeezed his hand.

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think they'll have cheesecake?"

"Most likely. Why? Do you want some?"

Loki nodded.

"Alright. If they have it, we can get it."

"Thank you. Can we get tea as well?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, Tony."

"Of course, sweetheart. We can get whatever you want." Tony told him as he pulled into the parking lot.

Loki smiles, finally letting go of Tony's hand so he could put Tony's jacket on. It was big on him, but he liked it. He put the hood over his head and looked over as Tony opened the door.

He got out and took Tony's hand as they walked towards the door. Loki was a little anxious but it had been a while since they'd last tried to go for a walk and Loki thought he could handle it.

Loki held tightly onto Tony's hand. When they entered the store, Loki didn't see that many people. He only saw about five or six. It was nothing like the street in New York. This seemed a lot better.

"Alright." He looked around. "Strawberries?"

Loki looked up at Tony and nodded.

Tony grabbed a few containers of strawberries and put them in the basket he was holding.

"Do you like any other fruit?"

"Um, cloudberries and apples." He said.

"Apples, I can get you, but I have no idea what a cloudberry is."

"We have them in Asgard. They're good."

"Oh. Well, I don't think I can get those here."

"I figured." Loki told him.

He jumped when a woman suddenly walked past them, squeezing Tony's hand tighter.

"It's okay." Tony said softly. "No one is going to bother you."

Loki just nodded.

"Come on. Let's see if we can find some cheesecake."

Loki nodded again and let Tony take him over to where it said the desserts were. They looked around for a few before they found it. Tony put it in the basket and turned to Loki.

"You said tea, right?"

Loki nodded.

"Is there anything else?"

"I don't think so."

"Okay." He said. "Have you ever had a burger?"

Loki shook his head.

"I'm gonna make you a burger for dinner."

"What's a burger?"

Tony lead Loki over to the tea aisle as he spoke. “It’s like, meat and cheese and lettuce and tomato all on a bun. It’s really good. I think you’ll like it.”

“Oh. Okay. That sounds good.”

“It’s amazing. What kind of tea do you want?”

Loki kept his hold on Tony’s hand as he looked at the different types, settling on a box that said jasmine green tea. “This one.”

Tony held the basket up and Loki put it inside. He looked up at Tony and smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, babe.”

“Just gotta grab a few more things and we’re good to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long. i’ve been insanely busy


	19. Nobody Praying For Me

"Do you like it?"

Loki nodded, putting the burger down on the plate. "It tastes good. I really like it. I've never had this before."

"Good. I hoped you'd like it."

"Thank you."

"Of course."

Loki looked around the room as he took another bite of his food. He liked the house. It was big and had lots of space. There was a big pool too. And the bedroom for him and Tony was huge. Tony didn't have a place to do work but he'd said it was okay. He needed a break from it anyway. 

It was getting late and they were both tired— Tony called it "jet lag"— but Tony had wanted Loki to eat before going to bed.

Tony was sitting next to him, drinking more of that stuff he usually drinks. He was eating the same thing as Loki, as he read something on his phone.

Loki managed to eat almost all of the burger before he was full. He pushed the plate towards Tony and put his head on Tony's shoulder.

"Are you done?"

Loki nodded.

"Alright. I'm gonna finish and clean up. Why don't you go get ready for bed? I'll be up in a little while."

"Okay."

Loki pulled back and stood up. He walked up the stairs. It took him a minute to remember which door was the bedroom. There were a lot of bedrooms, enough for both of them to each have two rooms to themselves and still have more leftover. Loki found the room, the third door on the left, and pushed it open.

He wanted to please Tony but he wasn't sure that Tony would let him. He wanted to say thank you for helping him.

He stripped down completely, putting his clothes in a small pile in the corner of the room. There was nowhere to put them now so he'd let Tony figure that out.

He walked over to the bed and moved the covers back. He was about to lay down when there were suddenly hands on him. There was one around his neck and one in his hair. His first instinct was to scream, but nothing came out— the pressure on his vocal cords...this person knew what they were doing. He tried to kick and thrash, doing everything he could to break free of his attacker's grasp. He was shoved back against the wall with enough force to knock the wind out of him.

Loki froze, his breath catching in his throat when he saw who it was that had attacked him. His eyes were wide, his body paralyzed with fear.

His master stood in front of him, pinning him to the wall.

"Did you miss me?"

Loki let out a small whimper, not knowing what else to do. Loki attempted to move, but he tightened his grip on Loki's throat.

"T-"

He slapped Loki across the face before he could finish. Loki's head snapped to the side and he hit his head on the wall. He grabbed Loki's chin, forcing his head back. "Don't even try it." He growled. "Don't move, don't make a sound."

Loki gave a small nod. There were tears in his eyes, threatening to spill.

Loki was confused. He didn't understand. He didn't get how he found him. It didn't make sense. They'd come here to avoid him finding Loki.

"Oh, Loki..." He spoke, his voice low. "You have no idea what I'm going to do to you."

Loki shook his head a little.

"You're so cute. You really thought you were free, didn't you? You really thought it was that easy?"

Loki swallowed hard. He didn't respond.

"I've known where you were all along. This entire time, you thought you were hiding from me. It's adorable. You should've known it wouldn't be that easy."

He tangled his fingers in Loki's hair, dragging him over to the bed. He threw him down and climbed on top of him. He held his hands above his head with one hand, keeping the other on his throat.

Loki was trembling. He didn't know what to say. How had he known? There was no way for him to know. Where was Tony? Why wasn't he up here yet? He had to be done by now.

"H-how?" Loki whispered, tears falling down his cheeks.

"You're stupid. That's how. You let your human copy those runes without reading them first. If you'd have stopped to read them, I'd have no idea where you were." He told him. "Some of them are to block your magic, and the rest, little one, are for tracking."

Loki gasped softly. He shook his head. That couldn't be true.

How could he be so stupid? Why didn't he read them? He didn't know why. He couldn't remember why he didn't try to read them. He felt so stupid.

"If you thought it was bad before...oh, you're in for a rude awakening, darling. I never did get to punish you for that last stunt you pulled." He released Loki's throat, trailing his hands down Loki's chest. "Mmm...not yet though. I want you to sit with this for a while. I want you to suffer for a little bit."

Loki bit his lip, whimpering softly as his master's hand reached his ass, groping and squeezing the skin.

"Oh yes, I, uh, I think you need to suffer."

"T-Tony will know if you hurt me. He'll-...He'll see the marks." Loki whispered. "He'll be up here soon."

"You don't get it. Not that I really expect you to. You're a stupid fucking slut." He hissed, digging his nails into Loki's skin. "I'm not doing anything to you now, as much as I want to. I'm going to wait until I have more time. You get to continue living like this until I come back. Whenever that might be. You get to live like this, knowing that you're not actually free, that you never have been and you never will be. You'll know that I'm going to come back and punish you and you have no idea when. And if you tell the human, I'll kill him while you watch. And I'll make sure he suffers."

Loki just nodded. He was scared. He didn't know what else to do. He couldn't fight. He couldn't do anything. He was helpless. And there was no way he could just not tell Tony. Tony would pick up the smallest inconsistency in his behavior.

His master released him and got to his feet. He left Loki lying there on the bed, his eyes wide, shaking terribly.

He was gone. Loki was suddenly alone again. He rolled into his side and curled into a ball, crying quietly. He didn't know how to hide it from Tony. Tony would know.

After a few minutes, Loki managed to get to his feet. He walked into the bathroom and started the shower. He shut the door and stepped in. He'd hide in here until he calmed down enough to be by Tony. He didn't want to make Tony worry.

He sat down on the shower floor, letting the water run over him. At least if Tony were to come in, the water would hide his tears.

"Loki?" He heard.

Loki took a deep breath before answering. "Yes?"

Loki heard the bathroom door open.

"What are you- oh, sorry. I didn't know you were gonna take a shower." He spoke. "There's a cup of tea on the nightstand when you're done."

"Thank you, Tony." He said softly.

"Of course."

The door closed again and Loki was alone. He closed his eyes, wishing he would stop crying. He had to calm down. He couldn't let Tony know that something was wrong. If Tony found out, his master would kill him. He couldn't let Tony die. He loved Tony. This wasn't fair. Why did this have to happen to him? He didn't understand. It wasn't fair.

He needed to calm down. He needed to stop crying. He took deep breaths, trying to steady his breathing. He wiped at his eyes, tilting his head back so that the water fell over his face. He stood up and turned the water off. If he was in there much longer, Tony would wonder if he was okay. He found a towel and wrapped it around his body. He stopped to look at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red, but he hoped that Tony wouldn't notice. He dried himself off and walked out into the bedroom. The lights were off and Tony was lying in bed, watching something on the tv. He walked over and lifted the cup that Tony had left for him. He took a sip before placing it back down. He dropped his towel and climbed into bed beside Tony.

Loki moved close to Tony, resting his head on Tony's chest.

"How was your shower?"

"It was alright." Loki told him.

Tony rolled onto his side and pulled Loki close. He placed his hand on Loki's thigh, massaging his skin. Loki could feel Tony through his sweatpants. He was hard. Loki wasn't in the mood, but he couldn't say no to Tony twice in one day. It wasn't fair to Tony. Loki would give him what he wanted, whatever that might be.

Loki looked up at Tony and reached down between them. He softly palmed Tony through his pants, leaning up to kiss him.

"Are you okay with this?" He asked.

Loki nodded. "Yes. I want to."

So far, he was doing a good job of acting like he was alright, thankfully. He couldn't let Tony know what happened. Ever.

Tony's hand slid over to his ass, squeezing and kneading the skin.

"What would you have me do?" Loki asked, slipping his hand inside of Tony's pants so that he could stroke his cock.

"Shit, baby..." He groaned. "This is perfect. Just keep doing what you're doing."

Loki nodded. This wasn't bad. He didn't mind this. Tony's made him feel safe. As long as he was by Tony, his master couldn't hurt him.

He stroked Tony slowly, as Tony kissed and sucked at his neck. Loki whimpered, leaning into him. It did feel nice, whether he was in the mood or not. Tony reached down and wrapped his hand around Loki. Loki jumped, not expecting him to do that. He moved his hand at the same speed that Loki did.

Loki knew there'd be marks on his neck in the morning. He didn't mind. It meant he was Tony's. And he liked being Tony's. As long as he was with Tony, his master couldn't hurt him. He was safe.

Loki gasped and buried his face in Tony's chest as Tony's hand sped up.

Loki felt like he wasn't doing enough. He felt good but he wasn't sure that Tony did. "A-Are you sure this is all you want from me?"

"Yes. You're doing great, sweetheart." He breathed. "I think we're both a little too tired to do much else anyway."

"If you want more, I'll give it to you, Tony. You know I will do anything you ask of me." Loki said softly, continuing to stroke Tony.

"I know, babe. But you don't need to do anything else. This is perfect. Just keep doing this, okay?"

Loki nodded, focusing on moving his hand to please Tony. He pushed Tony's pants down a little so that he was exposed. He wanted to make sure that Tony was happy with him.

"I love you." Loki whispered.

"I love you too." He grunted. "You're so pretty, baby. You're amazing. I'm so proud of you. You're so beautiful."

Loki just gave him a soft smile.

"I'm gonna cum, babe."

Loki nodded. "Please."

Tony let out a low groan as he released across his own stomach. "Shit. Thank you, baby."

Tony took Loki in his hand again.

"You don't have to." Loki told him.

"I want to. You made me feel good, so I'm going to make you feel good."

He stroked Loki, causing him to let out small whimpers. Loki was close. He loved the way Tony's hands felt on him.

It only took a few more strokes before he came on Tony's hand. Tony pulled his hand back, leaning in to kiss Loki.

"Hand me the tower you left on the floor."

Loki shook his head, moving so that he was on top of Tony. He leaned over Tony and ran his tongue up Tony's stomach.

"You don't have to do that. Just give me the towel."

"No. I want to."

"Alright. If you really want to, I can't stop you."

He didn't mind doing it. For Tony. No one else. When he did it for Tony, he felt okay. When his master made him do it, it was humiliating and he hated it. He loved Tony though and he knew that Tony wouldn't ever intentionally hurt him or humiliate him or anything.

Loki cleaned Tony's stomach and then grabbed his hand. He cleaned his own release from Tony's hand before looking up at him.

"Thank you, sweetheart." He said, running his fingers through Loki's hair. "Though you could have just used the towel."

Loki smiled, hugging Tony. He laid down next to him and Tony pulled him close.

"Get some sleep."

* * *

_Loki woke up alone. Tony's side of the bed was empty. He sat up, looking around the room. Where had Tony gone?_

_"Tony?" He called._

_He didn't get a response. He pushed the covers back and got out of bed. He grabbed Tony's shirt off the floor and pulled it on._

_"Tony?" He tried again, louder._

_He didn't hear the shower running._

_He walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs. He didn't see Tony in the living room. "Tony?"_

_Still no response._

_He walked into the kitchen. The coffee maker was on, but Tony wasn't there._

_He didn't know where he could be. He should be in the house. There's nowhere he would go. He wouldn't just leave without telling Loki._

_All of a sudden, he heard a loud noise outside. Loki walked over to the big sliding doors and pushed it open. He stepped outside and looked around. He didn't see Tony._

_"Tony?" He called._

_"Over here." He heard. It came from the direction of the pool. It didn't sound like Tony, though._

_Loki walked around the side of the house. He froze when he saw what was in front of him._

_Tony was on his knees on the ground, his hands bound behind his back. His master stood behind him, a hand wound tightly in his hair. His nose was bleeding and his lip was split open, a large gash on his forehead with blood dripping down his face. He was gagged, a cloth tied around his head._

_Loki started shaking. He looked between the two of them. His master stared at him, a dark smirk on his face. He laughed lowly, tugging on Tony's hair. He could see the pain in Tony's eyes._

_Loki opened his mouth to say something. He didn't know what he planned to say, but he was cut off before he could say anything._

_"Keep your mouth shut."_

_Loki swallowed hard. He bit his tongue, watching the two of them._

_"I told you what would happen if you told him."_

_"I didn't-"_

_"Didn't I tell you to keep your mouth shut?" He growled._

_Loki looked down. He didn't tell Tony. Why did his master think he did?_

_He suddenly slapped Tony, dropping him to the ground. Loki gasped. He kicked him in the stomach, forcing a low groan from his lips._

_"No!" Loki cried. "Don't, please!"_

_"What part of shut up do you not understand, you stupid bitch?"_

_"Master, please. I beg you. Don't hurt him! I didn't tell him anything!"_

_He kicked him again, before stepping away from him to walk over to Loki._

_Loki dropped down to his knees, shielding his face from whatever his master was about to do._

_He grabbed Loki by his hair and dragged him to his feet. He brought him over by Tony and leaned into his ear._

_"You know better than anyone that I don't make empty threats, little one. Don't you dare close your eyes or it'll only be worse on both of you."_

_He threw Loki on the ground, going back to Tony. He squatted down, running his fingers through Tony's hair. He grasped the back of his shirt and pulled him to his knees._

_Tony's eyes went wide the moment he realized what was going to happen. He tried to struggle. He screamed, but they came out muffled. Loki could hear the fear in his voice and he was shoved into the water. He thrashed and kicked but it got him nowhere._

_Loki stood there, trembling, watching with wide, tear-filled eyes. He couldn't make himself move. He couldn't find his voice. Why would he do this? Loki knew he hadn't told Tony. Why did his master think he did?_

_He pulled Tony up, choking and gasping for air._

_He only waited a few seconds before shoving Tony back down._

_"S-Stop, please..." Loki managed._

_His master said nothing._

_He pulled Tony back up and forced him back under the water three more times before dropping him to the ground. Tony had stopped fighting. He laid there on the ground, trying to catch his breath, coughing up water and choking on it._

_He looked over to Loki, smirking at the sight of his tears._

_"Please. Stop now. He's had enough. I_ _understand..._ _Master, please, stop hurting him."_

_"That's not what I promised you,_ _now_ _is it?_ _" He asked, approaching Loki and cupping his chin._

_"Master, no. Please. I beg you. Please. I love him. Please, just let him live. I'll do anything. I'll go back with you. Anything. Please, just don't kill him." Loki begged._

_He released Loki and took a step back, the same wicked smirk still on his face. "Oh, baby, you know that's not how this works..."_

_He suddenly kicked Tony again, pushing him over the edge of the pool and into the water. Loki screamed, watching as he kicked, trying to pull himself up. Without the use of his arms, he was helpless._

_He tried to run towards the water but was stopped abruptly by a hand in his hair. Loki dropped to his knees, sobbing and screaming for Tony._

* * *

Loki sat up fast, panting hard. He reached over to grab Tony's hand but found the bed empty and cold. His eyes went wide. He immediately thought back to the dream he'd just awoken from.

He had to find Tony. He quickly jumped out of bed, not even bothering to put clothes on. He ran down the stairs and into the living room. He heard a noise in the kitchen. He ran in there. Tony was standing near the stove, cooking something.

Loki quickly rushed over and hugged Tony, nearly knocking him over in the process.

"Jesus Christ, Loki." He said. "What's wrong? What's going on? Why are you still naked?"

Loki just hugged his waist, face buried in his chest. He was gasping for air, trying to catch his breath.

Tony was okay. That wasn't real. It was a dream, something his brain conjured up after the threats from his master the night before. Everything was okay.

"Loki?" Tony spoke softly, brushing his fingers through Loki's hair.

"I-I'm sorry. I just- I had a dream, a-and I woke up and you were...you were gone and I-I panicked."

"It's okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just came down to make you breakfast." He told him, hugging him. "It's okay. It was just a dream. You're safe. I promise, baby, you're safe here. I've got you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for this chapter


	20. Drag Me Down

A few days passed and Loki found that he was doing a good job of hiding what happened. Tony, as far as he could tell, hasn't picked up on anything. He was sitting on the couch beside Tony. Tony had the tv on, but as usual, Loki wasn't paying attention to it. He sat there quietly and watched Tony as he watched the tv, deep in thought about the last few days.

He was worried about what would happen if Tony were to find out. He knew that if Tony asked, he probably wouldn't be able to keep it from him for long. He didn't want to risk Tony getting hurt. He loved Tony.

He moved closer to Tony, laying down and resting his head on his stomach. Tony moved his hand up to Loki's head, playing with his hair as he watched the screen.

"You okay?"

Loki nodded. "Mhm."

Loki glanced at the tv, finding it rather boring. He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Tony's hand in his hair. It felt good, relaxing. He enjoyed it. He loved this. He enjoyed just sitting with Tony like this. Tony would watch the tv while Loki sat with him and didn't pay attention to it. As long as he was by Tony, he was safe.

Loki wanted to fall asleep. He was tired. But he was scared to sleep. He hadn’t actually slept in three days. The dream he’d had scared him, and so he refused to sleep. He just stayed up all night, making sure Tony was okay. He could fall asleep now, but he didn’t trust his mind. He was so comfortable and he felt at peace. Tony was awake. His master wouldn’t come near him if Tony was there, especially if he was awake. It would be safe to fall asleep, but he didn’t want to have another nightmare.

They both jumped when there was suddenly a loud crash outside. Tony got to his feet immediately, holding his hand out as pieces of his suit came at him. Tony had left the sliding doors that led outside open, and the next thing Loki knew, his brother stormed in, brandishing his hammer like a madman.

"Tony Stark, why have you brought my brother here?" He growled. "And why didn't you tell me of it? It makes me wonder what your intentions are."

Loki stared at his brother with wide eyes.

Tony put his hand down, fully engulfed in metal by now. "What the hell do you mean "my intentions?" I brought Loki here because he didn't feel safe in New York. Calm down and put the damn hammer down."

"Why didn't you tell me you were taking Loki so far away then?"

"You don't exactly have a phone. It's not that easy to contact you. I didn't think it would be a problem because I only did it for his safety." Tony told him.

"Oh, yes, Stark. For his safety. Is that why the last few times I've seen him, he's been half-naked or injured? What exactly are you doing to him? I'm beginning to regret leaving him with you, and the only reason he remains with you is that he can't be with me!"

"Excuse me?" Tony said in pure disbelief. "I have done nothing but protect him. I've never-"

"Would the both of you stop talking about me like I'm not even here?" Loki suddenly screamed, cutting Tony off. He stood up and moved between them. "Thor, I told you I did not wish to see you again, and here you are. I don't trust you and I don't want you here. You lied to me and hurt me. Shut the hell up for once and stay out of this. I am not some pet that you can pass around to whomever you wish. Anything I do with or around Tony is mine and his goddamn decision whether you like it or not. If I chose to walk around naked, and he allows it, then I will. If I choose to sleep with him, and he allows it, I will. You may have saved me, and for that, I am forever grateful, but I do not wish to see you. I am not incompetent and I do not need yet another person trying to dictate my life. You are becoming more and more like Odin as the days pass."

Tony stood there, watching the two go back and forth.

"I'm simply trying to keep you safe! I understand you are angry with me, but I'm concerned for your safety. I don't want to see anyone hurt you anymore. I'm not trying to dictate your life and tell you-"

"But you are! By storming in here like a bloody psychopath and threatening Tony, accusing him of harming me, you are. I don't care what you have to say. Your opinion on what I do no longer matters to me. We- you and I- are not together anymore. You cannot tell me what I am and am not allowed to do!" Loki hissed. After the last few days, this was the last thing he wanted to deal with. He didn't need Thor coming in here and flipping out. "You have no right to do this. I'm not a little kid and you do not own me...I can't stand you anymore. You've always told me how to live my life- what to wear, what to eat, what to do, when to keep my mouth shut and when to talk, when to sleep, when to bathe- and quite frankly, I'm tired of it. Now that I think back on it, you weren't much better than the Grandmaster! Everything he did, you did, apart from beating me daily. Tony has not once done any of that. The only thing he has ever told me to do was eat!"

Before Loki could get out of the way, Thor backhanded him. Loki fell to the floor, holding his cheek. Tony immediately shoved Thor back, standing in between the brothers. "I am nothing like that man. Don't you dare compare me to him! Stark, get out of my way! I-"

"Get out! Do not ever come back here! You needn't worry about me any longer, _brother_." He spat, looking up at Thor from his spot on the floor.

"Go, Thor. Now. Get out." Tony spoke, his voice low and threatening.

He turned and stormed out of the same doors he came through.

As soon as he was out of sight, Loki began to sob quietly. Tony let the metal of his suit fall away from him as he sank down to the floor beside Loki.

"Come here, sweetheart." He said softly, hugging Loki. He kissed him gently, using his thumb to wipe away the small amount of blood that had dripped from his split lip. "It's okay."

Tony wiped away Loki's tears.

"What was all that about, babe? Do you wanna talk about it?"

"In a minute...just- just give me a minute." Loki said softly, hiding his face in Tony's chest.

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"I-I do. I...I need to tell you something. I'll explain in a moment. I just need a minute."

"What do you need to tell me?"

"Something about Thor and I. He pissed me off a-and I just snapped. I'll tell you everything. I just need a moment."

Loki felt bad for lying to Tony like that. That wasn’t the real reason he snapped. He’s under too much pressure right now and it’s not fair.

Tony raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Alright. Take your time."

Loki wasn't making much sense to Tony right now. What did something that happened between them have anything to do with what just happened? Loki had told Thor he was controlling, but Tony didn't understand that part either.

"I ask that you just don't judge me..." Loki whispered.

"I'd never judge you." Tony wondered what it could be that Loki wanted to tell him.

"When I was young, maybe about seventeen, eighteen years old, it happened for the first time. There had been a celebration, another war won, Odin and Thor victorious. They drank heavily. Everyone did. Except me. I wasn't one for parties or becoming obnoxiously inebriated. I only hung around so that I could ensure that Thor wasn't doing anything too excessive. When it got late that night, and Thor was beginning to get rowdy, I brought him up to his room and convinced him to lay down. He argued, but eventually laid down, after telling me that he'd only lay down of I laid with him. Of course, I agreed. It was nothing new. I'd slept near him since I was young..." Tony watched intently as he spoke. He never once looked up at Tony. He was clearly afraid of what Tony would say about what he was about to tell him. "He was drunk, I was not. I should have told him no, but I didn't. I enjoyed the attention. I felt needed. I felt loved. His hands on my skin felt amazing...I-I know it's...unusual for brothers to have a relationship of a sexual nature, so it was kept in secret for hundreds of years. I-It was something I used to long for during my captivity...To see him again, feel him again, to be safe. And now that I sit and think on it, I realize how controlling he was during that entire time..."

Tony was silent for a few minutes. Loki still wouldn't look up at him. He was scared. He didn't know if Tony would be angry with him.

"Are you mad?"

"No. Why would I be mad?" Tony spoke. "I'm just a little confused."

Loki frowned.

Tony let out a long breath. "Well...I-...hm...you guys aren't blood relatives, so that makes it a little less "bad". But I mean, there's nothing really wrong with it. You enjoyed it....How did he control you?"

"I guess..." Loki sighed. "I knew we shouldn't have been doing it, but I didn't care. At the time I didn't think much of it. It didn't matter to me. I just thought it was normal. I thought that's how normal relationships were. He would tell me what I should wear and tell me when to go to sleep and what to eat, when I could talk, where I could go. If I made him mad or didn't listen, he'd smack me. It wasn't anything crazy, but I thought it was normal. I didn't realize it wasn't until recently. And him coming here and just acting like that, i-it made me snap....though I don't know that he was doing it intentionally. Asgard's customs are....different."

Tony was at a loss for words. He didn't know about this. Loki's life had just been one big mess. He's never, ever been treated right. He didn't even want to address the whole topic of Thor. Loki telling him that already pissed him off.

"You're angry." Loki stated.

"Not at you."

"Who?"

"Everyone who's hurt you." Tony said, kissing the top of his head. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

Loki shrugged.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Tony held Loki close, rubbing his back.

"You haven't said much." Loki said quietly. Tony was definitely mad at him. Tony is never this quiet.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just thinking."

"What about?"

"You...What you just told me."

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I just wanted to tell you." He whispered. "I'm just being irrational. I'm thinking too much about it."

"Don't apologize. It's alright. I'm happy you told me. I like that you told me. And you are absolutely not being irrational. That's not how someone who loves you is supposed to be. No one should try to control you or tell you how to live your life. I don't know about Asgard's customs, but whether he was doing it intentionally or not, it's not okay."

"It's customary in Asgard, for man to be very controlling over his wife. I think that due to the nature of our relationship, Thor took on the role of the man because that's how he was always taught to be, and I kind of just accepted it, because that's what I was taught."

"I see...It's still not okay. I don't like that. Asgard is clearly still a bit behind in their ways...wait- you were taught to accept it? You were taught the opposite of what Thor was taught, but you're both men. Why?"

"I'm not really sure. I know that Odin intended to marry me off to a man. When I asked why, he said it was because I was unstable and because he thought it a terrible idea to allow me to be in charge of anything. He felt that I needed someone to have constant control over me." Loki explained.

"That's not okay. I don't like that. Who you marry should be your choice, and no matter who it is, they shouldn't be allowed to basically treat you like a slave."

Loki nodded and hugged Tony.

"Would you like to go take a bath? It'll help you relax a little."

Loki nodded again.

Tony got up, helping Loki get his feet. He took Loki's hand and led him up to the stairs and into the bathroom. He started the water and turned to Loki. "You okay?"

"Yes."

Loki pulled off his shirt and pants, dropping them to the floor. Loki sat on the edge of the bath tub as he waited for the water to fill. Tony stepped over, standing in front of Loki. Loki rested his forehead on Tony's stomach. Tony placed a hand on the back of Loki's head, playing with his hair.

"Tony?"

"Mmm?"

"Tell me you love me."

Tony looked down at him. "I love you, Loki."

Loki smiled. Tony leaned down to kiss his forehead.

Loki stood and got in the water.

"Will you join me?" Loki asked.

Tony shook his head. "No. But I'll sit here."

He sat on the floor in front of the bath.

"Tony?"

"Yes, love?"

"What does a real relationship feel like?"

Tony sighed. "It...hm...A real relationship feels good. You feel happy and safe, and that person is your entire world. Sometimes you disagree and argue, but there's no violence. No one gets hurt. You're free to go where you want, and do what you want. You don't control each other. You help each other. You're there for each other. And you'll know right away if they're right for you."

"Is that how you and Pepper are?"

"In the beginning, yes. But towards the end, we just found there we weren't getting along as well as we did." Tony told him.

Loki frowned. "I want that..."

"You have it."

Loki looked up at him, tilting his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"You have me, Loki. I'm not going anywhere."

Loki just stared at him. He didn't know what to say.

"I love you, Loki. And I told you that I'd protect you. I told you that I'd be there for you, and not leave your side."

"I-I thought....you and Pepper...I don't...." Loki trailed off.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that Pepper and I are officially done. I haven't heard from her since she left, and she took pretty much all of her stuff when she left."

"Oh."

Tony reached over and cupped Loki's chin. He gave him a soft smile.

"So, you want me?" Loki sounded confused, like he didn't understand.

"Yes. I want you. You're mine now." Tony told him, gently dragging his thumb over Loki's lips. "If you'd like that, that is."

Loki gave a slight nod. "I-I'd like that, I think..."

"Good. I was hoping you would."

Loki leaned into Tony's hand, tears silently rolling down his cheeks.

"Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

Loki turned to him and gave him a small smile. "No one's ever wanted me before..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment what you think is gonna happen x


	21. Through the Glass

Loki laid on Tony's chest, staring up at him. He was asleep. It was the middle of the night and Loki couldn't sleep again. He was worried that something would end up happening to Tony.

He couldn't let his master hurt Tony. Tony loved him. Tony wanted him. Tony made him happy. He couldn't lose Tony. That's why he couldn't tell Tony. That's why he had to protect Tony. Not that he could do much to protect him, but he had to try.

He leaned up and kissed Tony. He was still asleep. He loved Tony too. Loki felt tears in his eyes. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to cry. He didn't want anything to happen to Tony. If he had to go back with his master, he would, just to make sure he wouldn't hurt Tony. He'd do anything to make sure he didn't get hurt.

Loki lifted his hand and wiped his tears away.

"I'm surprised. I figured you'd have broken already."

Loki gasped and quickly turned around. His master stood at the foot of the bed. Loki carefully rolled off of Tony. He looked up at him and bit his lip. He didn't know what to say.

"It's cute how you really think he loves you." He said. "Do you really think he cares about anything but your body? You're just a hole to fuck. That's all you are to him. That's all you are to anyone."

"That's not t-true." Loki whispered.

He rolled his eyes. "Get up."

Loki shook his head.

He just nodded. He walked around the side of the bed, pulling a knife. He placed it at Tony's throat, looking at Loki. "Get up."

Loki quickly got to his feet, glancing back at Tony to make sure he was still asleep.

He grabbed Loki by his arm and pulled him towards the bathroom. He closed and locked the door, slamming Loki up against the wall. He grabbed onto Loki's hair and shoved him down to his knees, keeping a tight hold on his hair.

He shook his head and tried to pull away, but he was slapped across the face.

"You refuse, you fight me, you make any noise at all, he dies." He growled.

He grasped Loki's jaw tightly, digging his fingers in until he opened his mouth.

"Stay like that." He ordered, pulling his cock out.

Loki unwillingly did as he was told, tears falling down his cheeks. He hated this. It wasn't fair. He wanted to scream for Tony but he didn't want Tony to get hurt. He sat there with his mouth open, keeping his eyes shut.

He jumped when he felt his master's hand on his face. He felt him push into his mouth, hitting the back of his throat. Loki immediately gagged, no longer used to the feeling of being forced.

He began thrusting at a rough pace, fucking Loki's throat. Loki choked with every movement. He thought about how he must look right now, saliva, and tears covering him. He tried not to cry but it was hard. It hurt. His master's hand tugged at his hair, as he repeatedly forced his cock down his throat.

He hoped that Tony would wake up. He wanted Tony to do something. He couldn't let Tony find out though. He didn't want him to kill Tony. Loki couldn't lose Tony. Everything his master said about Tony wasn't true. Tony did love him. Tony didn't care about his body. Tony didn't keep him around just for sex. He knew it. He knew Tony liked his body, but that's not why he loved Loki. He's said it. His master was lying. He just wanted to hurt him more. He liked hurting Loki. His master didn't care about him. His master enjoyed making him scream. He didn't love Loki like Tony did, he simply loved hurting him. He loves making Loki bleed.

He shoved Loki all the way down on his cock, releasing deep in his throat. He pulled out, holding Loki's mouth shut until he had no other choice but to swallow. When he finally released him, he collapsed to the floor, crying and coughing quietly.

"I can't wait to have you all to myself again." He told him.

He suddenly grabbed Loki by the throat and pressed him down to the floor.

"Remember what happens if you tell him." He spoke. "Until next time, sweetheart."

He stood and left the room, leaving Loki lying on the floor.

He stayed there for a while, lying in his own saliva. He didn't understand. He just wanted it to end. He didn't understand why it was him. He didn't understand why, out of everyone else, this had to happen to him. He wasn't even safe if he was with Tony. Tony had been right there.

He felt sick.

He got up as quickly as he could, making it to the toilet just in time. He emptied the contents of his stomach, his master's cum, as well as everything he'd eaten recently. He coughed, another wave coming.

His head was spinning. He couldn't tell if he was going to throw up again. He coughed up bile, choking on it as it came up.

"Loki?" He heard.

He went to answer, but as he opened his mouth, he threw up again.

The bathroom door opened.

"Hey wh- Holy shit, are you okay? What's wrong?"

Loki shook his head, coughing and wiping his mouth. "I-I'm fine. My stomach just hurts."

"You're not fine. You're sick. What happened?"

"I just woke up a-and felt sick." He whispered.

"Did you eat anything weird?" He asked, stepping closer to Loki to push his hair out of his face.

Loki shook his head. "I'm fine."

That's when Loki realized that Tony's probably mad at him. He's never gotten sick around Tony before. He didn't know if Tony was upset. His master would punish him if he got sick.

"I'm sorry. Please don't get mad at me." Loki begged. "I'm sorry, Tony. Please. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay. I promise. I'm not mad. Why would I- _Oh_. We haven't had this situation yet, have we? I'm not mad. I'm just worried about you. I'm not going to yell at you and I'm not going to hurt you. You're not in trouble. It's okay."

Loki gave a slow nod.

Tony flushed the toilet and shut it. "Sit here."

Loki got up and did as he was told.

"Let's get you cleaned up and then we can go lay down."

Loki nodded again.

Tony grabbed a washcloth and wet it in the sink. He turned back to Loki, stopping for a moment. He gently grasped Loki's chin and looked at him. Loki suddenly got worried. Was there cum on his face? Was there a mark where he'd been slapped?

"Have you been sleeping?" Tony asked.

Loki was quiet. He looked up at Tony briefly before looking back down. He didn't want to lie to Tony. He shook his head.

"Why?"

"I-I just haven't been able to." He lied. He couldn't tell Tony why he's been staying up.

"Why, Loki?" He asked again after a few moments of silence. "Don't lie to me again."

Loki didn't look up at him. "I just don't want to have any more bad dreams. Th-they scare me."

He hoped Tony would believe this. He didn't want Tony to ask any more questions.

Tony sighed. "You need to sleep. It's not healthy. That's probably why you're feeling sick."

Loki shook his head. "I'm fine. I probably just ate too much last night. I've gone weeks without sleep before. It's doesn't bother me much."

"I don't care. You're getting sleep, Loki. I will stay up all night if I have to in order to make sure you sleep." He said, carefully wiping Loki's mouth off with the cloth.

Loki shook his head again.

"Yes. You're not arguing about this. Sleep is important. At least try to get a little." He spoke, kissing his forehead. "If you have a bad dream, I'll wake you up."

Tony didn't understand why Loki was suddenly refusing to sleep. It had never been a problem before. Even when he has his nightmares, he never refused to sleep. Tony knew that something was going on, something more than what Loki was telling him, but he didn't know what. He figured that maybe Loki was just taking a while to adjust to being in a new place, or something. He'd give Loki like two more days and if he wasn't back to normal, or at least close to it, he'd talk to Loki about it.

"I don't want to sleep. Tony, please." Loki whined.

"You need sleep. It'll make you feel better."

Loki started to cry. He was afraid. He didn't want his master to hurt Tony while he was asleep, and he didn't want another dream like the last one. "Please don't make me, Tony. I-I don't want to sleep. I can't s-sleep. I'm...scared. I'll do anything. Please, just don't make me go to sleep."

Tony hugged him.

"Don't cry. It's okay. I promise it's okay. I know you're scared but you need sleep. I don't want you to get sick. I'll be right there the whole time. You know I won't let anything happen to you."

Loki shook his head again. He couldn't go to sleep. If he went to sleep, his master could hurt Tony.

"I can't sleep. Don't make me. Tony, please."

Tony sighed. He felt bad. He didn't want to scare Loki like this. "Fine. You don't have to go

to sleep right now, but you're sleeping later."

"Alright." Loki said softly. "Thank you."

Tony didn't want to do it, but he was going to have to go to the store and buy something to help Loki sleep. He couldn't let Loki not sleep.

"Come lay down until it's time to get up."

Loki nodded and stood up. Tony took his hand and led Loki out to the bedroom. Loki laid down on the bed, next to Tony.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." Loki whispered.

"It's okay, babe. I'm not worried about it."

He kissed Loki's forehead.

"I have to go to the store later. Is there anything you want?"

"I don't think so...Can I come?"

Tony shook his head. "No. Not today. You're not feeling well and I don't want to take you out like that. It won't take me long."

Loki frowned but nodded. If Tony wasn't here, his master could hurt him. But he couldn't argue with Tony about this or Tony would start to suspect that something was really wrong. He was scared though. His master could come and hurt him again.

Tony ran his fingers through Loki's hair. "I won't make you sleep, but at least lay down and try to rest."

Loki nodded and curled into Tony's side. He didn't want to stay here alone while Tony was out. He was afraid. He didn't know what his master would do. He didn't know if his master would come back while Tony wasn't here so he could hurt Loki. Loki knew that his master wanted to punish him, but he wasn't sure how he planned to do it.

* * *

"I'll be back soon. I promise." Tony said, kissing Loki's forehead. "Is there anything you want?"

"I wanna come." He mumbled.

"No. Not when you're sick."

Loki frowned. "I'm not sick. I feel fine. Please let me go."

"No. I said no. I want you to get some rest."

Loki looked down, tears in his eyes.

"C'mon, don't cry. I'm sorry. I don't want you to get more sick."

Loki didn't look up at Tony. He wiped his eyes and whined.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you have to stay home."

He glanced up at Tony and then looked back down.

Tony sighed. "No. It won't take me long. I'll only be gone for about an hour or two. There's some strawberries and tea on the counter for you if you want it. I want you to stay home and rest."

Loki nodded. He couldn't get Tony to change his mind. He was scared of being alone. He didn't want to be there by himself. His master had already come once that day. Who's to say he won't come again? He wanted to punish Loki. He could easily take the time that Tony's gone and use it to punish him.

"I'll be back soon. I promise." Tony told him, kissing the top of his head.

Loki nodded again.

Tony left the room. Loki pulled his knees up to his chest, looking around the room. If anyone came here, he'd see immediately.

Loki didn't think his master would come back. He had only been there a few hours earlier. It was too soon. Loki was expecting it. He'd be safe here.

He was hungry. Tony said he'd left strawberries downstairs. Loki figured he'd be okay going down there. It was safe. His master wouldn't come back so soon.

He got out of bed and slowly made his way downstairs. He sat down at the table, looking around the room. He took a piece of a strawberry and ate it, grabbing the cup of tea that had been next to his food.

"You must really want to keep him alive." Loki heard from behind him.

He sighed and turned around slowly. "Yes. I do."

"Why is that?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Tell me." He said, walking over to Loki. He stood a few inches away from him, grabbing a strawberry from the bowl.

"I simply don't want him to die."

He grasped Loki's chin, tilting his head up. He was quiet for a few minutes before he began to laugh "You're so fucking stupid. You really think he cares about you. It's so sad, it's funny."

"He does."

He smiled, raising his eyebrows. "I'm sure he does...I wonder if he'll still care when he finds out that you're lying to him. I wonder what he'll think when he finds out all of the things I've done to you."

"He'll still care."

"I'm sure he will. No one wants a used hole."

"He doesn't care about that. He still loves-"

"God, I hate it when you talk." He groaned. “Your voice is so fucking irritating...”

Loki looked down at the floor.

“I can’t wait...” He breathed, tangling his hand in Loki’s hair. “Until you’re mine again. Oh, baby, you’re in for a world of hurt. You’ll never escape again.”

He moved to Loki’s front, grabbing his chin roughly. He ran his thumb over Loki’s lips.

“You’ve never been punished the way I plan to punish you. I’m going to make you beg for mercy.”

Loki kept his mouth shut, not wanting to get yelled at for talking again. He was terrified of whatever his master had planned for him. He knew it wouldn’t be long before his master took him away. He couldn’t stop his tears from falling. He just wanted it to stop. He didn’t understand why it had to be him.

He used his grip on Loki’s hair to pull him to his feet.Loki let out a small, pained whimper as he was dragged into the living room and to the couch.

He threw Loki on the floor, sitting himself down on the couch. He looked down at him, his arms crossed over his chest.

“He won’t be back for a bit. I have some time to play with you...”

Loki pulled himself to his knees, keeping his head down. Why won’t he just stop? Why did he feel the need to torture Loki like this?

“Strip.”

Loki shut his eyes tightly, grabbing onto the edge of his shirt and pulling it over his head. He dropped it on the floor, sitting up a little to pull his pants and underwear off.

Once he was naked, he sat there on his knees, his hands on his thighs. He looked down at the floor, shaking slightly.

“Dance.”

Loki looked up at him with wide eyes. He shook his head. “No. Please.”

“Shut up and do as you’re told or I’ll kill him.”

Loki sobbed softly, leaning over and putting his forehead to the floor. He hated dancing. It wasn’t fair. It was humiliating. “Please. I’ll do anything else. Please, just don’t make me do that.”

He stood up and walked over to Loki. He grabbed him by his hair and pulled him up. “You’ll do exactly what I tell you to, or I will make him suffer while you watch.”

Loki let out a shaky breath and nodded. He couldn’t let him hurt Tony. He released Loki, watching him get to his feet.

Loki slowly began to move his hips, putting on a show for his master. He hated this. It was humiliating and uncomfortable. He wanted Tony. If Tony came back, he wouldn’t have to do this.

“Turn around.”

Loki reluctantly did as he was told, turning his back to his master. He continued his movements, trying his hardest not to cry.

He could feel his master’s eyes on him, watching his every move. Loki wanted this to end. It wasn’t fair.

He stood up suddenly, grabbing the back of Loki’s neck. Loki gasped softly.

“Remember what happens if you tell him.” He said. And then he was gone, out the back door that was right in front of them.

Tony must be back. He’d only leave like that if Tony was back. Loki quickly grabbed his clothes, not giving himself any time to calm down. He pulled his clothes on, wiping at his eyes. He knew his eyes were red and puffy, and he knew it looked like he had been crying. He didn’t know how to explain it to Tony. He didn’t know what to tell him.

He ran back to the kitchen and sat down at the table. He ate a few strawberries, taking a sip of the tea. He knew Tony would ask. He couldn’t come up with any explanation.

He heard the front door open. “Loki?”

“I’m in here.” He said, struggling to keep his voice steady.

Tony came in the kitchen. He had a bag and two cups in his hand. He placed the bag down and put one of the cups down in front of Loki. “Hot chocolate.”

“What?” Loki kept his eyes down, hoping Tony wouldn’t notice.

“It’s like, chocolate and milk. Just try it. I think you’ll like it. It’s sweet.” Tony finally looked over at him, a worried look on his face. “What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

Loki shook his head, trying to quickly come up with an explanation. “I’m fine...I...I-I choked on a strawberry.”

Tony stared at him for a moment before sighing. He sat down next to Loki.

“Alright. What’s going on?” Tony asked. “You’ve been acting strange since we got here. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong. I’m fine.”

“No. Don’t lie to me. What’s going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment what y’all think is gonna happen


	22. Fall To Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for this chapter

Loki sat there, staring at Tony with wide eyes. He couldn't lie. He didn't know what to say. But he couldn't tell Tony. He didn't want Tony to die. He couldn't let Tony die. But clearly he hadn't done a good enough job of hiding the fact that something was wrong. He had to tell Tony something.

"Loki?" He said softly, reaching over to run his fingers through Loki's hair. "What's going on?"

Loki shook his head. "N-nothing. Nothing is going on."

"Something is definitely wrong, babe. You can tell me. I won't get mad."

Loki looked down at the floor, suddenly getting an idea.

He could tell Tony but make it look like he was doing something else. He didn't know if his master could see or hear anything, but if Loki distracted  
him, wherever he was, while he told Tony, he might be able to get away with it.

He stood up, taking Tony's hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Just come with me."

Tony let Loki lead him over to the stairs, before stopping. "What are you doing, Loki?"

"Just come with me, please. I'll tell you what's wrong."

Tony sighed and nodded.

Loki pulled him up to the bedroom and let go of his hand when they were right in front of the bed. He pushed Tony back on it and climbed on to his lap.

"No- You're not distracting me with this. I want you to tell me what's wrong." Tony placed his hands on Loki's waist, ready to take him off of him.

"It's not you that I'm trying to distract." Loki whispered, kissing Tony's neck.

That statement immediately worried Tony. "What? What do you mean? There's no one else here."

"Shh. Just go with it. I'll tell you in a moment."

Tony sighed. Now he really needed to know. "Fine. At least let me sit up."

Loki nodded and got off of him. Tony moved so that he was leaning against the headboard. He patted his lap and Loki came back over, sitting on his thighs.

Tony ran his fingers through Loki's hair, leaning in to press his lips to Loki's neck, right by his ear.

"Tell me." He whispered, beginning to place small kisses along his skin.

"You won't get angry?"

"No. I promise."

Loki let out a shaky breath. "H-He is- was-...He knows w-where I am."

"Who? What do you mean?"

Loki pulled his shirt off, reaching forward to pull Tony's shirt over his head.

"My master. He's been here." Loki whispered.

Tony stopped what he was doing. " _What?_ How, Loki? We came here because you thought he was close to finding you in New York."

"I-I was stupid." He said softly, slowly moving his hips against Tony's. "I didn't stop to read the runes before you copied them. Only some were there to block my magic."

Tony had his hands on Loki's hips, holding him still. "What were the others for?"

Loki swallowed hard. "Tracking."

"Shit."

Loki unbuttoned Tony's pants and pushed one hand inside. He wrapped his fingers around Tony's member and slowly began to stroke him. "I'm sorry, Tony. I-I should've paid more attention. H-he's known all along, where I was. And now he's just fucking with me."

"It's okay. We'll deal with it. I won't let him hurt you. Why didn't you tell me though?" He spoke, a low groan leaving his lips as Loki stroked him a little faster.

"H-he said he'd kill you if I told you. But I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I'm scared."

Loki sat up on his knees and pulled his pants down. He put two of his own fingers in his mouth but Tony grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand back. He replaced Loki's fingers with his own. Loki coated Tony's fingers in saliva.

"And why was this your form of distraction?" He asked, pulling his fingers back once they were wet enough.

"He likes to watch me. I don't know if he can see or hear anything, so I hoped that if he could, this would distract him enough."

Tony nodded. He pushed a finger inside of Loki, causing him to gasp softly.

"He's been here?"

He pushed a second finger in. Loki fell against him.

Loki nodded.

"Did he hurt you?"

Loki nodded again.

"What did he do?"

He pulled his fingers out. Loki sat up, spitting into his hand and stroking Tony. He lined himself up and sank down onto Tony's cock.

Loki whimpered softly. "H-he hit me a few times, and he, uh....when I was throwing up, i-it was because of him. He used my mouth. And when you were out before, h-he was here. He made me strip and dance for him. Th-that's why I was crying."

Tony let out a low growl. "I'm going to kill him."

He thrust up into Loki, gripping his hips tightly. He flipped them over so he was on top of Loki, moving in and out of Loki's body.

"I have cameras, you know. I haven't looked at them, but I suppose I should have." Tony panted.

"When- ah~ when did you set up cameras?"

"The day we got here, after you went upstairs. I didn't get a chance to look at them, but I figured they would be good to have." He said.

Loki nodded, moaning softly.

He could tell that Tony was close. His thrusts were becoming erratic. They were both panting. Loki whimpered, holding onto Tony tightly.

"I'm close."

"Please. I want it." Loki whispered.

He knew Tony would be stressed out later, but he knew that telling him like this would keep him from getting too upset. He also hoped that his master had no idea what he'd said to Tony.

Tony came inside of him. He moaned loudly, his breathing heavy. Tony leaned down, kissing Loki's lips.

"I'm going to keep you safe, I promise. He's not going to hurt you, and I won't let him kill me."

Loki nodded, hugging Tony.

They laid on the bed together for a while, Tony gently stroking Loki's hair as he thought about what Loki had told him.

He knew how hard it had been for Loki to actually tell him that. He knew that Loki was terrified of whatever the Grandmaster had threatened to do.

He looked down at Loki, seeing that he was finally asleep. He looked peaceful, but Tony had a feeling it wouldn't last. Loki's nightmares have been horrible lately.

Tony carefully got up, making sure he didn't wake Loki. He wanted to quickly grab his laptop so he could check the cameras. He ran downstairs and grabbed it off the table before heading back up. He sat on the bed beside Loki, pulling the blanket up over them. He had bought stuff to help Loki sleep but it looked like he might not need it now.

He opened his laptop and signed in, opening the program for the cameras. He honestly didn't know what he was going to see. He knew he wouldn't like it though.

Loki didn't actually tell him when it first happened, so he went back to the first day they were there. Loki had been by Tony's side pretty much constantly. The only time he was alone was when Tony told him to go get ready for bed.

He found that time and began watching the video. It looked normal at first. Loki was getting undressed, about to lay down when he was suddenly grabbed. Tony didn't see where he came from. He had Loki pinned to the wall, one hand around his neck and the other in his hair. Tony could see the pure fear in Loki's eyes when he looked at him for the first time. Loki opened his mouth and he slapped him hard. His hand left Loki's throat to grab his chin.

" _Don't even try it. Don't move, don't make a sound."_

How had this happened when he was right downstairs? How didn't he hear anything? How could he be so blind?

Tony kept watching, as much as it hurt him to see this. Tony listened to his words and watched as he dragged Loki to the bed. He groped Loki, touching him in places he didn't want to be touched.

His words were harsh and hurtful. He could see how they impacted Loki, just by the look in his eyes.

He left Loki lying there on the bed, trembling and crying. He'd laid there for a little while before getting up. He walked into the bathroom. That's why he took a shower. He was scared. And yet he still let Tony touch him that night when he could have said no.

He let out a long sigh. How did he not figure this out? He knew something was wrong with Loki, but he didn't expect this.

He fast forwarded to the night before, when Loki had been throwing up.

He saw Loki lying on his chest, wide awake. He saw the Grandmaster step out of the shadows. He stood there, watching Loki for a while before he spoke. Loki visibly jumped, quickly rolling over. He watched them, heard his threats. He watched the Grandmaster walk around and place a knife to his throat. How had he not woken up? He watched Loki quickly get up then. He was using Loki's love for Tony to manipulate him. He knew Loki wouldn't let him hurt Tony so Loki would do whatever he was told. He watched as he brought Loki into the bathroom. He couldn't see anymore. There was no camera in there.

He didn't even know if he could watch anymore. He knew that Loki said that he'd been there right before he'd come home, but he couldn't watch it.

He closed the laptop and set it down. He turned back to Loki and pushed his hair out of his face. He was careful not to wake Loki up as he pulled him close, resting his chin on Loki's head.

Two months ago, Tony would have never thought he'd find himself in this position, holding someone who'd once tried to kill him as he slept. But now, Tony couldn't imagine doing anything else. He'd grown fairly attached to Loki in the last few weeks and he didn't know what he'd do without him.

Tony knew that there would be a point in time when Loki would leave him, and he knew he'd have a hard time accepting it. Eventually, it'll be safe for Loki to go home or to go off on his own, eventually, he would heal and Tony had a feeling that Loki would leave the first chance he got. He's someone who needs to be free. Tony knew that Loki would choose his freedom over staying with Tony.

Loki let out a small whine as he slept, but he didn't do anything else. Tony didn't think Loki was having another nightmare. He seemed calm enough.

As he laid there, watching Loki sleep, he knew, more than ever, that he had to protect Loki at all costs. He wouldn't let anyone hurt him. He couldn't. Loki had been through so much and he deserved to be safe. His whole life was one giant shitshow. He was abandoned as a baby; raised by a man who didn't care for him as much as he said, who taught him to accept degradation and be subservient; he was unknowingly part of a toxic relationship with his own adoptive brother; he was tortured and controlled, forced to attack a city and kill innocent people; he was sold off as a slave by the man who claimed to be his father, where he was abused and raped for five years. And now, after all of that, he's finally in a place where he's safe. Tony wouldn't let anything get in his way of protecting Loki.

"I love you." He whispered into Loki's hair, kissing the top of his head.

"I love you too." He replied.

Tony looked down at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't. I've been awake for a few. You just seemed comfortable so I didn't want to bother you."

"Oh. Okay."

Loki leaned up and kissed him softly.

Tony ran his hand up and down Loki's back, giving him a small smile. "You okay?"

Loki nodded. "I want to take a shower."

"Alright. You can take a shower."

"Will you come?"

"I have some stuff I have to do real quick but I'll be in there in a few minutes, okay?"

Loki nodded and rolled off the bed. He walked into the bathroom and started the shower.

He stepped in and let the water fall over his body. The warm water felt nice. He felt better after getting to sleep for a little while. It wasn't long, only an hour maybe, but he felt better nonetheless.

Maybe Tony was right, and everything would be okay. Maybe Tony could protect him. Tony was strong enough. Loki would be safe here.

Loki washed his hair, attempting to get all the knots out. He likes his hair long, it's just annoying because it gets knotted so easily. He used to just use magic to unknot it, but know that he can't, it's a pain in the ass. He'd never cut it off though.

Tony was taking longer than Loki expected. He guessed that whatever he was doing was taking a while. He didn't want to be in the shower much longer. He figured Tony wasn't coming and he could just take another shower with Tony later or something.

He turned off the water and grabbed a towel. He dried his hair off before wrapping it around himself.

He opened the door and stepped out.

He gasped, frozen in place when he saw who stood there. His master had Tony on his knees, hands bound behind his back. He had one hand in Tony's hair, the other holding a blade to his throat. The sight before him was similar to the one in his dream.

Loki stood there like a deer in headlights. The only thing he felt was fear. He didn't expect this. He didn't know how he knew. He was scared. He was confused. He instantly felt sick.

"Hello, sweetheart." He said, his voice low.

Loki just stared at him. He was shaking, unable to find his voice.

He tightened his grip on Tony's hair. He grunted in pain, looking up at Loki. "I warned you...I told you what would happen if you disobeyed me, and yet you still did."

Loki swallowed hard. "...P-....p-please, don't."

"Oh, no, baby. That's not how it works. You know I always stay true to my word." He spoke. "If I promise something, I always carry it out."

Loki shook his head. "I-I— I'm sorry. Please. P-please don't."

Tony watched the way Loki shook as he spoke. He'd never seen Loki act this way. Loki was terrified.

He dug the blade into Tony's throat, drawing blood. He hissed in pain.

"No! Please! I'll do anything!" He cried, tears falling down his cheeks.

"Shut up."

"Please, master! I'm sorry. I made a mistake! Just let him go, please..."

"Shut the fuck up, you stupid fucking cunt!"

Loki fell to his knees, sobbing. "Please..."

"It's okay...It's going to be okay." Tony whispered.

Loki shook his head, taking a shaky breath. He stared up at his master.

He was silent for a moment before letting go of Tony's hair. He motioned for Loki to come over. Loki reluctantly got up and took the few steps over. He suddenly grabbed Loki by his hair and pulled him close to him.

"I suggest you keep your fucking mouth shut unless you want to watch him die right now..."

Loki shook his head, not saying a word.

"Drop the towel."

Loki closed his eyes, and let his towel fall to the floor.

He used his grip on Loki's hair to throw him towards the bed. "Now, sit there and keep your mouth shut. If I hear one fucking word, he dies."

Loki nodded.

He turned his attention back to Tony. "Get up."

Tony didn't move. He wouldn't give the bastard any satisfaction.

"I said, get up." He growled, digging the knife in.

"Fuck you." Tony spat.

His upper lip twitched in anger. "I suggest you listen if you want your heart to keep beating.

Tony laughed. "You won't kill me."

"And why is that?"

"I'm your only leverage against him, the only way you'll get him to do anything."

He hit Tony in the head with the handle of the knife. Loki gasped. Tony fell to the ground with a groan.

He rolled onto his back and kicked at the Grandmaster's legs. He dropped to the floor, the knife falling from his hand. Tony rolled over and grabbed it before the Grandmaster could.

"Loki, run!" Tony yelled, struggling to cut the rope that bound his hands.

Loki was frozen in place, watching Tony struggle as his master got on his hands and knees. He tried to grab the knife but Tony moved before he could. He grabbed Tony instead, wrapping his hands around his throat.

He glanced up at Loki. "Don't you fucking move."

"Run!" Tony choked. "Now!"

He finally got his hands free and raised the knife. He stabbed the Grandmaster's hand, grazing his own neck in the process. He released Tony's throat.

"Loki, go! Now! I'll be okay, just go!"

They were both fighting to get the knife. Loki got to his feet, his legs shaking. He stepped towards the door, taking one final glance back at Tony.

"Get back here!"

Loki moved faster.

He'd made it to the stairs when he was grabbed by his hair and pulled back. He cried out, trying to pull away.

Where was Tony? What had happened?

"Let him go!" He heard.

Tony was okay.

The next thing Loki knew, he was falling. He tried to grab onto something, a railing, a stair, anything, but he couldn't. He hit his head on the wall, on a few different stairs. He felt something in his wrist crack and he screamed in pain. When he reached the bottom, he laid on the floor. He couldn't move. The fall had knocked the wind out of him. His wrist ached, pain shooting up his arm. He whimpered softly. His chest and ribs hurt, his head was throbbing.

He heard them fighting on the top of the stairs but he couldn't move. He heard someone coming down but he didn't know who it was. He was too focused on trying to catch his breath.

Loki felt hands on him. He gasped. He couldn't do anything.

"C'mon, babe. You gotta get up. We gotta get outta here." Tony panted.

Loki nodded and let Tony help him up. He whimpered, looking down at his wrist. He had a feeling it was broken. It was the same one that he'd burned.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Tony. It's my fault." He whispered. He glanced up at Tony. There was blood on his face. Loki didn't know where it was coming from.

"Shhh. No. It's okay. It's not your fault." He told hi. "We gotta go."

Loki nodded and let Tony take his hand.

They only made it a few steps when Tony stopped short. He let out a choked grunt and fell to his knees. The knife was buried in his shoulder.

He came down the stairs and grabbed Loki. He shoved him to the floor before pulling the knife from Tony's back.

He grabbed onto Tony's throat and Tony's hand flew up to his. He tried to pull his hand away, not realizing what he was doing until it was too late.

He plunged the blade into Tony's stomach. Tony stared up at him with wide eyes. He let go of Tony, letting him fall to the floor.

"No!" Loki screamed.

He tried to crawl over to Tony but a hand was in his hair before he could make it. He screamed and kicked, trying to get away. He couldn't let Tony die.

He grabbed his master's hand. He couldn't get away. He dragged Loki after him. He tried to grab onto something but there was nothing around. 

"Let go! Stop! No!"

He dragged Loki towards the exit.

Loki couldn't tell if Tony was alive. God, he hoped he was. He couldn't let Tony die. But Tony looked dead. There was so much blood. His eyes were closed.

He couldn't go back. 

He knew what was going to happen the moment his master brought him back. 

He couldn't go through it again. 

As a final, last ditch effort, Loki pulled the knife from Tony's stomach. If he couldn't get away, he'd try to die one last time. He had to do everything he could to try and prevent it. 

He didn't get a chance to do anything before it was knocked from his hands. He squatted down, not letting go of his hair. "Don't even try it, slut."


	23. Violation

Loki cried out as he was thrown to the floor and kicked. He tried to roll out of the way before the next blow hit, but he didn't move fast enough. He tried to shield himself from the next one but it was no use. He curled in on himself, hugging his knees to his chest, taking the beating. He knew it'd only get worse if he fought.

He wasn't sure how long it lasted, but it felt like hours. Once his master had finally calmed down some, he squatted down in front of Loki. He roughly grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up. Loki let out a shaky breath as he met his master's eyes.

"You have no idea what I'm going to do to you..." He hissed, his voice eerily calm. "When I'm done, you'll regret ever even thinking of disobeying me."

"...I-..." Loki tried to answer, but everything ached. He couldn't even breathe without pain shooting up his side.

"Keep quiet or I'll sew your mouth shut again." He threatened.

He was silent for a moment before pulling a knife from his pocket.

"First things first..." He grabbed Loki's hair and raised the knife.

Loki's eyes went wide. "No! P-please don't do that."

He raised his eyebrows. "What was that?"

"Please-...Oh..." Loki immediately shut his mouth.

He closed his eyes tight. He knew he couldn't do anything. Fighting would only make it worse. He knew Loki liked his hair. He knew how much Loki's hair meant to him. He knew how insecure Loki gets if there's something wrong with his hair. He was going to cut it off to humiliate Loki. He spent five years destroying Loki's mind; he knew exactly how to hurt him the most.

He let his tears fall freely. He laid there, on the floor, waiting. He didn't know what he was waiting for.

And then Loki felt it.

The knife cut through his hair. He felt it fall around him.

He didn't know what to do, how to feel. It felt wrong. He felt sick.

When it was finally over, Loki opened his eyes.

He didn't move. He stayed still, staring up at his master.

"Please..." He whispered. "Just kill me."

He laughed. "Now, where's the fun in that?"

He roughly rolled Loki over and pulled his hips up. Loki let out a choked grunt when he suddenly pushed inside of him.

He sobbed in pain, trying his hardest to put himself anywhere else.

He just wanted to go back. He wanted Tony. Tony made him feel safe. Tony didn't hurt him. And now he was sure he'd never get to see Tony again. Tony was dead. He had to be. There was too much blood for him to be alive.

Even if he was alive, Loki knew that the chances of him coming to save Loki were slim. Why would he waste his time like that? Now that Loki was gone, he could have his life back and not have to worry. He could go back to the way things were before Loki.

As angry as he was at his brother, part of him wished Thor would come help him. He wanted anyone. He didn't even care who. He wouldn't care if Odin walked in here if it meant he got out of here.

Loki was suddenly aware of his surroundings again. He wasn't sure when his master had left. He didn't realize he'd finished. He knew he'd be back before long. He wasn't anywhere near done with Loki.

He rolled onto his side, staring at the cell door. Loki didn't know why his master began to keep him in a cell. He'd used to be allowed to move around the top floor. He couldn't leave the top floor without his master, but he wasn't sure why he was in a cell now. Judging by the bits and pieces of what he remembered from the two years, he was in a cell during that time too. Ever since the incident with Thor, it seemed.

Loki took a deep breath. He looked at the floor around him, covered in chunks of his hair. He didn't dare touch his head. He didn't want to know how short it was. He didn't want to see it.

Loki stared at the bracelet on his wrist. He missed Tony. He wiped his eyes as tears began to fall. He wanted to go home. Loki wanted Tony. He wanted Tony to hold him and tell him everything would be okay. He wanted to feel safe again.

It felt different this time. When he'd first gotten here, he felt betrayed. But he didn't lose anything he loved. At that point, he'd already been a captive, of Odin, and of the ones who controlled him. But now, it hurt worse. He doesn't feel the betrayal now, but he knows that he just lost his freedom permanently. He lost the one person who truly loved and cared for him. He can never get it back. He's trapped here, a slave for the rest of eternity. He'd be this man's toy for the rest of his life. He couldn't even end his life.

He didn't want to think about what his master had planned for him. He knew it would be painful. What he got was nothing. He knew there would be more. He hadn't been punished yet, for anything. He'd done so many things he shouldn't have. He'd tried to kill himself, and then he ran away— even though that technically wasn't his fault, he'd still be punished for allowing it to happen— and he'd told Tony that his master knew where he was, he ran and he fought, and he was scared. He didn't want any more pain. Watching Tony die was punishment enough, but he knew his master wouldn't think that same. Loki had to pay for disobeying. And he knew he would.

Loki looked up as the door opened.

"Get up." He ordered, standing in the doorway.

Loki swallowed hard.

"I said get up." He growled. "I have a surprise for you..."

He began to pull himself up, but he clearly wasn't doing it fast enough. His master came over and grabbed him by his neck. He pulled him to his feet and dragged Loki after him.

Loki fought to keep up, knowing he'd get hurt if he stumbled or fell.

He dragged Loki up to his room, dropping him to the floor near the fireplace. Loki kept his eyes on the floor, not daring to look up at him. He was afraid if whatever this surprise might be. He knew it would hurt.

He glanced up at the fire. It's appearance was oddly calming.

His master was doing something by the fire but he wasn't sure what. There was a long metal pole sticking out of it. Loki watched as he grabbed it and pulled it out of the fire.

Loki's eyes immediately went wide when he saw what was at the end of it. It was a rune he recognized, Uruz. It meant power, but once inverted, it meant the opposite. The metal was glowing and hot. He knew what would happen. He'd be branded with that and his magic would be out of his reach forever.

"You know what this is, don't you?"

Loki nodded slowly. "Please no...I-I'll do anything."

"Shut up."

He came closer.

Loki backed away.

He reached down and grabbed onto Loki's hair. Loki found some comfort in knowing it was still long enough for him to get a good hold on it. He dragged Loki, kicking and screaming, over to the bed and bent him over it.

"No!" Loki screamed, trying to pull away.

He held Loki down and raised the burning metal.

"Stop!" He cried. "Please d-"

Loki let out a scream of pure agony as the iron was pressed into his lower back.

There was smoke and the smell of burning flesh filled the air.

Loki had never felt pain like this before. It was excruciating. It radiated through his entire body.

His head was pounding, everything hurt. His back burned.

His master leaned down by his ear. "Keep screaming and I'll sew your mouth shut. I have no issue doing it again. There are other parts of your body I can use."

He pulled away from Loki, letting him drop limply to the floor.

He bit his lip to keep from making noise. He was dizzy from the pain. His vision swam in and out of focus. He felt like he would throw up. His body shook with every breath. He didn't even try to stop his tears.

The pain wasn't fading. It took everything in him to stay quiet.

"Get on the bed." He spoke.

When Loki didn't move after a moment, he placed his foot on top of the burn. Loki whined in pain.

"Now."

Loki struggled to pull himself to his knees, eventually managing to climb onto the bed and lay on his stomach.

"On your back." He ordered. Loki could hear the smirk in his voice. He knew how much pain it would cause him.

Loki didn't fight though. He just did as he was told. He couldn't take anymore punishment.

He gasped and cried out when his lower back came in contact with the bed.

"How does it feel?" He asked, running his fingers down Loki's chest, stopping to feel the way his heart was pounding.

"I- h-hurts..." He managed in shuddering breaths.

He laughed, deep and dark. "Good. But that's not what I wanted..."

He grasped Loki's chin, digging his nails in.

"How does it feel to know you'll never, ever use magic again? How does it feel to know that you're completely at my mercy, with nothing to protect you?"

Loki tried his hardest to calm his breathing enough to talk. "I-I'm...scared. I wish- I wish you'd just k-kill me. I can't take a-anymore..."

"Death would be a reward, a gift. You've earned nothing but punishment."

* * *

"He has Loki- Shit, don't fucking do that!"

"Do you want to bleed out? I have to stitch this." She said. "And who has Loki? You're still not telling us who it is."

Tony had woken up in a puddle of his own blood about two hours ago. When he realized what happened and that Loki was gone, he called Natasha, Clint, and Steve, since they knew about Loki.

"Is it the man who tortured him?" Steve asked.

Tony nodded, groaning as Natasha worked on the wound in his stomach.

Steve nodded. "Alright. Start from the beginning. Tell me everything they happened."

"Hold up-" Clint said. "Where's Thor?"

"Fuck if I know. He and Loki had a...disagreement last time he was here, and I kicked him out. I think Thor might be ignoring me because of that."

He nodded.

Tony looked up at Steve and sighed. "Loki woke up from a nap and went to go take a shower. I was going to go make him a cup of tea; he hadn't been sleeping and I wanted him to get some rest; I was attacked before I could even leave the room. He jumped me and tied me up, waiting for Loki to get out of the shower. When Loki got out, and he saw me, he got scared. He started crying and begging him not to hurt me. He told Loki to get on the bed, and then he told me to get up. I didn't and he hit me in the head. I fell and took his legs out. He dropped his knife and I used it to cut the rope. I told Loki to run. He punched me in the head and it dazed me long enough for him to go after Loki. He grabbed Loki, but as soon as I got there, he let go of Loki and he fell down the stairs. I shoved him back and went after Loki. He was hurt but I got him up. We didn’t make it far. He threw knife and I dropped. He pushed Loki down and he grabbed onto my throat. He stabbed me and then went back to Loki. I saw Loki trying to fight. He was kicking and screaming but I passed out. I don’t know what happened after that.”

He nodded. “Do you have any idea where he might’ve taken him?”

Tony shook his head. “I don’t but Thor knows. He’s the one who saved Loki from there in the first place.”

“So we can’t do anything until Thor comes.”

“I’m not just going to sit here while Loki’s getting fucking raped. Who knows how long it’ll take him.” Tony growled.

“Would you hold still?” Natasha sighed.

She’d finished with his stomach and had moved onto his shoulder.

“Tony, there’s nothing we can do. We have no idea where to start. He probably worlds away right now and we have no idea where.” Clint said.

“Well I’m not going to just sit here. I can’t. I can’t sit here while he- I can’t sit here, knowing he’s being abused and raped and tortured for no fucking reason!”

“Tony, if you don’t stop moving, I will knock you out.”

Tony sighed, wincing when the needle punctured his skin.

“I get it. I do, but...just try. You need to heal. You took a beating. You’ll be of no use to Loki if you can’t do anything.” Steve told him.

Tony let out a long breath. “Dammit!”

They sat there in silence for a few.

“You try and reach out to Thor. He needs to get here.” Tony said. “Tell him there’s like an other worldly threat or something and SHIELD needs him.”

“I’ll try.” Steve said. “But no promises.”

He left the room and walked into the kitchen.

Natasha finished stitching Tony’s wounds and put the stuff away.

“I need a fucking drink.”

“Don’t drink. You’ll bleed.” She said.

“Yeah, okay.” He told her, getting himself up. He groaned, gripping his side as he walked into the kitchen.

He grabbed the bottle of bourbon and a glass, filling it up. He drank it slowly, leaning against the counter.

He heard the familiar crash of lightening outside. So he answers Steve, but not Tony. Of course.

He walked into the room through the back door.

“What happened?” He asked. “What happened to Loki?”

Tony looked over. “Nice to see you too.”

“Stark, do not play games. You said something was wrong, that he got Loki.”

“Yes, he got Loki. I tried to protect him, but he was too much for me to handle.”

“Shit.” He cursed. He looked around the room. “What are all of you doing here?”

“They know about Loki so I called then when you didn’t answer right away.”

Thor sat down. He didn’t say anything. He seemed to be thinking.

“We have to get him.” Tony said.

“We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“My father. He’s all but declared war on the Grandmaster. Yes, it’s only for show, but he has to make it look real. He’ll know if we go there and go after Loki.”

“I don’t give a shit about your father. All I need you to do is get me there. I’ll find Loki my damn self.”

“Tony, you are in no state to fight. You have to wait until you’re healed.” Natasha told him.

“No! I can’t-“

“You can’t sit here, we get it. But you can’t go there either.” Steve told him.


	24. Live Wire

Loki's body shook as forced himself to sit up. He pulled his knees into his chest, being careful not to let his lower back touch the wall. He watched the door, trying to brace himself for whatever was going to come in the next few hours.

He felt disgusting. There was dried cum and blood on his inner thighs, as well as on his face. His wrists were torn up from being cuffed. His backed still burned, even though it'd been a few days since the branding. There were bright red and painful lashes across his thighs and ass.

He can't heal as fast anymore, now that he's lost his power completely. Even when he had the collar, he could still heal pretty fast, but now, his body was barely faster than a human's. The beatings hurt more, the sex left him with more damage, the whippings made him scream, he passed out faster— though that may be the only good thing. He couldn't fight off infections or sickness anymore. He was too weak. He felt it dragging him down, making him even weaker than he already was.

Loki couldn't let this keep happening. He didn't know what would happen to him. He didn't know if he could die now. He hoped he could. With Tony dead and Thor gone, he would remain here for the rest of his life, which with any luck would be short. He had to fight. If he fought and disobeyed, there's a good chance he'd be beaten to death. He just hoped that his magic no longer protected him.

As if Loki's thoughts summoned him, the door opened. He stormed in and glared down at Loki. "Stand up."

Loki looked up at him and took a deep breath. "No."

"Excuse me?" He said, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

"No." Loki said again.

"I'm sorry. I think I heard you wrong. Did you, uh, did you just say no?"

"You heard right."

He laughed. "I think you'd better take a moment and rethink that response."

Loki instantly regretted this. This was going to hurt, whether he said no again or not. If he refused again though, it would hurt even worse.

Loki slowly got to his feet, his entire body aching. He kept his eyes on the floor, not daring to look up at him.

"That's what I thought."

He stepped closer to Loki and grabbed him by his throat. He pushed him up against the wall, leaning in by his ear.

"You know, I came down here to be nice to you...I was going to allow you to eat and take a shower, but now, I don't think so."

Loki gasped. He was so hungry. "Please, I'm sorry. I'll be good."

"Too late."

"No..." He whispered. "Please, Master. I'm sorry. I'm stupid. I-I shouldn't have said that."

"At least you got one thing right...you are stupid. You're a stupid whore." He growled into Loki's ear.

He slid his hand down Loki's body, groping his ass. Loki closed his eyes.

"I want to hear you say it."

"S-say what?"

"What are you?" He asked.

Loki shook his head, keeping his mouth shut.

"Say it!" He growled, taking hold of Loki's hair.

"I-I'm...I'm a- I- no-"

He moved his hand to Loki's throat and tightened his grip. "What are you, Loki?"

"I'm a...I'm a s-stupid...whore." He choked, tears in his eyes.

Why did he feel the need to constantly humiliate Loki? It wasn't fair. It hurt.

"Good boy. Let's go."

He dragged Loki through the halls. Loki could feel the eyes on him, on his body, as he brought him up to his bedroom.

"Get on the bed."

Loki swallowed hard, doing what he was told.

His master grabbed something from the table in the corner of the room and walked over to Loki. He sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed Loki's chin.

Loki's eyes went wide when he saw what his master held.

A needle with thick black thread.

"No-"

"Shh." He said. "You did this to yourself. You know better than to say no. We'll try again in a few days."

Loki shook his head as he brought the needle to his lips. "I'm sorry! Please!"

"Quiet!"

Loki cried softly. Hadn't he been though enough? Why did he he have to do this?

He pushed the needle though Loki's skin. He cried out, trying to push him off.

Loki kicked and squirmed and pushed him but he didn't get anywhere. The needle pierced his lips again and again, pulling scream after scream from him.

When his master finished, he leaned into Loki's ear once more. "We'll see how you're behaving in week. Maybe I'll allow you to speak again."

He flipped Loki onto his stomach and pulled his ass up. He grabbed Loki's thighs, digging his fingers in.

He let go of Loki long enough to pull his pants down just enough to free himself. He stroked himself, pushing into Loki dry. He whined in pain, burying his face in the pillow.

Loki hated this. It hurt so bad. He felt sick. He felt violated and used. He hated the fact that his body was just an object. He hated knowing that he was property. Loki missed his freedom. He didn't know how important it was until it was taken away from him. He took advantage of the fact that he was free his entire life, and now, he'd do anything to get it back. He'd never be free again. He'd never use magic again. He'd never see Tony, or Thor, or anyone be cared about again. He'd die there. Eventually his body would just shut down, unable to take anymore pain. He wasn't afraid though. He wished for death more than anything. He didn't want to wait though. He didn't want to wait until his master killed him. He'd rather die on his own terms.

He moved in and out of Loki's body, flipping him back over again. He hated when he went dry, and he hated having to see his master's face when he fucked him. It was the perfect opportunity though.

Loki closed his eyes for a moment, bracing himself, before hooking his arms around his master neck. He leaned up, letting out a low whine in mock pleasure. He lifted his hips to meet his master's thrusts.

"You like this, huh?"

Loki nodded, tilting his head back and exposing his throat.

"Of course you do. You love having a cock buried inside you. You love being full. You love it when I fuck you. Do you know why that is?"

Loki fought a shudder as he shook his head.

"Because you're a whore. Aren't you?"

Loki stayed quiet.

"Aren't you?"

He nodded.

He slid his hands down his master's back and sides, carefully slipping his knife from its sheathe. He quickly hid it underneath him, waiting for his master to finish.

He had to try one last time. He couldn't stay here. He couldn't do it. He wanted to go home.

His masters hips slowed and Loki felt his cum fill him. He shook as his master pulled out, fixing his pants.

"Go take a shower. You're fucking disgusting."

Loki let out a broken whimper, nodding slowly. He rolled off the bed and got to his feet. He had the knife, careful not to let him see it as he stood up.

He walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He locked it. He turned the shower on and stepped in. He didn't go into the water yet, staying on the other side. He held the blade, staring at the way the light reflected off of it.

He wondered if it would work this time. He hoped it would. He needed it to work. He couldn't live like this. This wasn't living. This was hell. It was torture and if taking his life was the only way out, then so be it.

He pressed the blade against his wrist and stared at it. He pulled it back and raised it to his throat. That would be quicker.

He flipped it around, pressing the point against his skin. He swallowed hard. He didn't know if he could do it. He didn't know why. He'd done it before. It was different but it wasn't that different. Those other times, he knew he wouldn't die, but this time, he's not sure. He's not sure that he's ready to do it. He wants to. He's lost everything. He has nothing to live for anymore. He has to do this. If he did this, he'd never be beat again. He'd never be raped, or punished, or forced to do things he didn't want to do. He'd never be humiliated or attacked again.

He closed his eyes, pulled the knife back, and with a deep breath, shoved it into his throat. He pierced his jugular and the blood immediately began to flow rapidly. He collapsed within seconds.

He heard pounding on the door. He could hear his blood rushing in his ears, almost drowning out the sound. "What are you doing with the knife?"

He banged on the door harder.

"Unlock this door or I will beat the shit out of you."

Loki's vision was fuzzy. He saw spots, going in and out of focus.

"Loki!" He growled. "If you're doing what I think you're doing, you're going to get punished. You know that."

It was quiet for a moment. Loki could t keep his eyes open. He felt the water on his body but he couldn't move.

"You have three seconds to open this door before I break it down and kill you myself."

He felt himself slipping away. The sounds around him began to fade out. This felt different. It felt different from the other times. He didn't feel any part of him trying to hold onto his life.

It was time. He was going to die, and could he move, he'd welcome it with open arms.

* * *

_He heard Loki scream, somewhere far away and distant. He looked around the room, finding it empty._

_He turned around and suddenly collapsed. He was bleeding from his stomach, the room was different now. He still didn't see Loki. He could hear him crying though._

_He forced himself to stand up. He dragged himself along the wall, following the sounds he heard._

_There was blood on his hands. He smeared the across the wall as he walked._

_He looked behind him but when he turned back, the room had changed again. He was in his bedroom. It was a mess. He could still hear Loki. He was screaming for help. He sounded just outside the room, right down the hall, in the living room._

_"Loki?"He called._

_He walked through the doorway, and as soon as he did, he was somewhere else. He was in his workshop. Loki was just outside. He could see Loki though the windows. He stood there, crying. He looked to have been attacked; blood dripped from his nose, his lip was split open, and there was a handprint on his cheek._

_He unlocked the door, and the moment he pulled it open, he stumbled forward and fell. Loki was gone. He was in a different place now._

_Loki stood in the middle of the room, staring at him. He reached out, but he fell short before he could touch Loki._

_Why? Why was this happening? Why was it so hard for him to get Loki? Why is he just out of reach every time? He was right there. He could've grabbed him. He could have touched him. He just wanted to hold him. He wanted to tell him that it'd be okay._

_"Tony?" He heard._

_He spun around. Loki stood there, watching him._

_He reached out to touch him but he was gone again. He had moved back about ten feet._

_"Tony." He said again._

_Tony took a small step towards him._

_"Tony!"_

Tony sat up fast, breathing heavily.

"You we're having a nightmare or something."

He looked over at Natasha and sighed. "No shit."

"Don't be a dick."

Tony laid back down on the couch, trying to calm his breathing. He looked around the room. Steve was in the kitchen and Natasha was on the other couch. He didn't see Clint anywhere.

They'd gone back to New York that night. He was reluctant to go, but he eventually did.

He stood up and walked down the hall. He went into his bedroom and sat down on the bed. He glanced around the room. He missed Loki. He wanted to help him. He had to go after him. He knew it would be worse this time. After everything that’s happened, he doesn’t know what’ll happen to Loki. All he knows is that he has to get to Loki and he has to do it fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment what you think happens with Loki


	25. Haunting

When Loki opened his eyes, he instantly felt angry. He should have died. He didn't understand how he was still here. It didn't make sense. It wasn't fair.

He rolled onto his side, curling up. He didn't understand why he was still here. It didn't make any sense to him. He should've died. His magic couldn't protect him anymore. He didn't know how long he'd been out for. His body ached. He didn't have the strength to get up. He didn't know where his master was.He knew he would be severely punished for that. He'd done it again. It should've worked though. He shouldn't be here.

"Get the fuck up." He heard. "On your knees."

Loki managed to turn his head enough to look behind him. His master stood there, a cane in his hand.

Loki just watched him. He couldn't get up. He felt weak.

"If I have to repeat myself, you're going to regret it."

Loki turned his head back. He rolled onto his stomach and attempted to push himself up to his hands and knees. He stayed still, somewhat out of breath from his movements.

"I don't recall saying that I wanted you on your hands and knees..." He growled. "You're already going to be punished, why must you make it worse?"

Loki whimpered and forced himself up to his knees.

He approached Loki, using the cane to tilt Loki's head up. He looked at the wood for a moment before dropping it to the floor. He grabbed onto Loki's chin and forced him to look up at him.

"I'm sick and tired of your shit." He growled, staring down at Loki. "You don't fucking listen. You're a stupid whore. I don't even think I want you anymore. When will you get it through your thick skull, that you can not kill yourself? You are not allowed to die."

He slapped Loki across the face.

He was quiet for a few minutes before a smirk came across his face. "I think I know what'll fix you..."

Loki whimpered.

"I think some time in the brothel might do you some good...might help you learn some manners. I've tried to train you for the last five years, but you just can't seem to get it. The customers and the men who own the brothel are much, much crueler than I am." He hissed.

Loki immediately shook his head, crying out. He wished he could tell him that he'd be better. He wished he could tell him he'd behave. He couldn't send him to a brothel. This was bad enough. It would only get worse if he were sent there. No one would know where he was. No one would be able to find him. He was already a prisoner, and if he went there, he'd be sold off to whoever wanted him for the night.

"Oh yeah...I think you'll do good there." He told Loki. "I'll talk to him tonight.”

Loki screamed and shook his head. He got up on his knees, trying to grab onto his master. He wished he could beg. He'd do anything. He hated it here but he knew he couldn't go to a brothel. He wouldn't make it. He wouldn't survive.

"You had your chance. I gave you more chances than I should have. I gave you five years worth of chances. And yet, you could never listen. This is your last chance. You'll stay there until you can behave."

Loki put his head on his master's stomach, whimpering and whining, trying to convince him not to do it.

He just shoved Loki to the floor. He got back on his knees as quickly as he could, ignoring the sudden wave of dizziness. He shook his head, crying quietly. He rested his forehead on his master's thigh, willing to do anything he had to do to convince him not to do that to him.

He couldn't do that. It wasn't fair. He couldn't go to a brothel.

Loki whined and cried, but his master ignored him. He was sitting on the bed reading something. He did everything he could to get his attention. Loki's injuries and his will to die was long forgotten. He had to stop his master from sending him off.

He climbed on to the bed where his master was, crawling between his legs. He had to try everything.

"Did I say you were allowed on the bed?"

Loki looked up at him. He shook his head, letting out a small grunt. He reached for his master's pants but was stopped by a hand in his hair.

"What are you doing?"

Loki whimpered and reached for his pants again. He had to convince him.

"Go ahead then, slut."

He released Loki's hair and let him crawl forward. He pulled his master's pants down, reaching inside to grasp his cock. He wished he didn't have to do this, but there was no other way to get his master's attention.

He pulled him out, stroking him. He leaned down, brushing his lips against his skin. He looked up at his master and grunted.

"You want my cock in your mouth, huh?"

Loki nodded eagerly.

"Why should I let you?" He asked. "It's not like you'll behave..."

Loki nodded again, whining loudly.

He laughed. “The chances of you changing my mind are slim. I suggest you take a moment to rethink what you’re about to do, because I can guarantee you cannot give me a blow job good enough to change my mind.”

Loki stared at him, tears in his eyes. He had to change his mind. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t even know why his master was acting so strangely. Loki expected to be beat half to death, but his master had simply dropped the cane that he often used to punish Loki. He’d slapped Loki, but that had been it. He didn’t understand what was going on.

He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to change his mind. Loki knew he wouldn’t be able to convince him not to send him away. He didn’t know how. He had to do something. He had to. But he didn’t know what he had to do.

He was scared. Being here was horrible but working in a brothel was worse. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t deal with that. He felt sick, like he wanted to throw up just thinking about it.

He did the only thing he could think to do.

He turned around on his hands and knees, arching his back and pushing his ass up in the air. He dropped so that his shoulders were pressed against the bed. He reached behind him, grasped his cheeks and spreading himself open so his master could see. He closed his eyes and hid his face in the bed. His cheeks burned and he held back tears. He hated this humiliation but he had to try and keep his master from sending him away. He didn’t know if anyone was going to come for him, but they’d never find him if he was in a brothel. They wouldn’t think to look there.

He felt a hand on his ass, groping and squeezing the skin. He jumped, not expecting the contact. He stayed still though. He didn’t want to move and risk angering his master who, for some reason, was unusually calm.

“You can’t change my mind. I’ve made my decision and you can’t do anything about it. Though it’s rather funny, watching you try.”

Loki whimpered softly.

“Get up.” He ordered. “Let’s go talk to my friend...”

Loki shook his head, turning around.

“Don’t make me say it again.”

Loki reluctantly got to his feet. His master stood and walked over to the closet. He pulled something out and threw it at Loki.

“Put that on.”

Loki picked it up from where it fell. It was a simple black cloak. He pulled it on and held the front closed. His master came over and pulled the hood up. He handed him a pair of boots.

“Follow me and keep your head down. Don’t make a sound.”

Loki didn’t like the fact that he was completely naked under the cloak. He didn’t want to go anywhere.

He followed his master out of the room, keeping his head down like he was told.

He didn’t really see where they were going, he simply followed. He knew once they’d gotten outside though. He felt the cool air and the breeze. He took a deep breathe. He missed the feeling of being outside and breathing fresh air. He knew it probably wouldn’t last long, and the chances of him ever being able to do it again were slim.

He followed his master down many streets, taking different turns along the way. Eventually, they stopped at a set of doors.

His master pushed it open and waited for him to enter before entering himself.

Loki was immediately hit by the smell of pure sex. His vision was clouded by smoke and he choked on it when he breathed in. He finally lifted his head and looked around. There were men sitting around tables, smoking hookah, surrounded by barely clothed and naked women and men. There we’re few men, but there were still some. Some of them had needles in their hands, and some of them looked so out of it that they may as well be dead.

Loki was frozen in place. He was scared. His master couldn’t leave him there. He wasn’t like this. He couldn’t survive here.

Someone came over to them.

“Grandmaster! It’s been a while. What can do for you?”

“Is there somewhere private we can talk?” He asked.

“Of course. Follow me.”

They followed, Loki was reluctant. He was terrified.

They reached an office and were led inside before the door was closed.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

He pulled the hood off Loki. “I’ve had this slave for about 5 years now, give or take a few weeks. And I just can’t seem to get him to behave. I thought that maybe if I left him here for a while, he’d learn, since I’ve had no luck.”

The man nodded. “Can you show me what we’re working with?”

He grabbed Loki and pulled the cloak off, exposing his body. Loki closed his eyes tightly, putting his head down.

He felt the man’s eyes on him as he circled around him.

“Why is his mouth sewn shut?”

“He has a bad habit of talking back.”

He nodded again. “And the brand?”

“He’s a magic user. It seals his magic.”

“Mhm...And his neck? What happened there?”

“Tried to kill himself.”

He seemed to think for a moment. “I think I can work with that.”

He looked Loki over again.

“Yeah. I can definitely work with that.” He spoke.

“Keep whatever you make off of him and I’ll pay you an extra ten percent of everything you make.”

“Fifteen and you have a deal.”

The grandmaster nodded. “Alright. I’ll leave him with you.”

Loki cried out and shook his head.

He grabbed Loki’s chin, forcing his head back. “Shut up. You did this to yourself, whore.”

He let go of Loki and left the room.

Loki stood there, watching him leave. He turned to the other man, taking a step back when he saw the knife in his hand.

“Relax.” He ordered “I’m just going to cut the thread.”

Loki held still, his eyes shut tight. He grabbed Loki’s jaw and held him in place as he cut the thread on his lips.

Loki opened his mouth slowly, whimpering in pain as he pulled the pieces of thread from his lips.

Loki stood still, watching him as he put the knife down.

“You’ll start tomorrow. For now, you’ll bathe and then I’ll examine you more...thoroughly.”

Loki gave a small nod. He didn’t like the sound of that.

Loki kept his head down as he was led down a hall and to a bathroom. The man pushed him into the shower and started the water. He gasped when the ice cold water hit his skin.

The water didn’t seem to be getting any warmer as the man cleaned him. He was trying his hardest not to shiver.

“Why did you try to kill yourself?” He asked all of a sudden.

“Huh?” Loki replied. He didn’t understand the question at the moment.

He grabbed Loki by his jaw again, forcing him to look at him. “I don’t like repeating myself. I’ll let it slide this time because you just got here. But never make me repeat myself again. Now, why did you try to kill yourself?”

“I-I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I...I just couldn’t d-deal with it anymore. H-He killed someone I loved a-and I just wanted the pain to end...”

He just nodded.

Loki didn’t want to be there. He didn’t know what to expect. It seemed awful.

He spun Loki around so that his chest was pressed against the shower wall. He pushed Loki’s legs apart, grabbing his ass. He spread Loki’s cheeks, running a finger over his hole.

His hand moved down, touching Loki’s balls and his cock. Loki tensed at the feeling. He didn’t like being touched like that. It rarely felt good. But being touched there made him think of Tony and he didn’t want it.

The mans hand moved back up, up to his chest and around his throat. He pulled Loki back up and shut the water off. He threw a towel at him.

Still shivering, Loki picked the towel up and wrapped it around his body.

The man motioned for him to follow, and he did. He followed him down yet another hall, to a room with a bed. There were multiple rooms in that hall, all side by side. He assumed those were the rooms where he’d be taken when someone wanted him.

“On the bed, hands and knees, ass in the air. I don’t want to hear a sound.”

Loki nodded and did as he was told. He got on the bed and positioned himself.

“Come on, spread your legs as wide as you can.”

He spread his legs wide, hiding his face in his arms.

He felt the man’s hands on him, groping and squeezing his skin. He spread his cheeks again, pressing a dry finger into him.

“Hold yourself open.”

Loki moved his hands behind him, gripping his cheeks like he was told.

He felt him push another finger inside, scissoring them slightly. He pulled them out, telling Loki to stay like that.

He walked away, and Loki tried to look behind him, to see where he was going, but he couldn’t see anything.

He came back a few minutes later with a few items. Loki couldn’t see what the items were.

He placed them down on the bed behind Loki. He felt the man’s hands on him again. He pushed his finger in again, this time with lube.

“This is going to hurt. Stay quiet.”

Loki nodded again. He shut his eyes tightly. He didn’t want to know what was going to happen. He was scared.

Loki gasped when he felt something cold touch his hole. It felt like metal. The man pushed it in. It didn’t hurt much. It was just uncomfortable. He didn’t like the way it felt. He didn’t know what it was.

And then he felt it.

It felt like it was forcing him open, stretching him farther than he’d ever been. He bit his lip to keep from crying out. It hurt. He’d never been stretched like this.

It continued, opening him up as wide as he could be.

“I need to clean you out, but that can wait for now. I need you loosened up.” He explained, slapping Loki’s ass. “You’re to stay in this position until I come back. Do not move. I’ll know if you did, and you don’t want to find out what happens when you don’t listen to me.”


	26. Eyes of the Beholder

Loki was confused, to say the least. The man had come back a few hours later, released him, took some pictures of him, and brought him to a basement area. He was alone right now, and he was perfectly content with that.

He wasn't sure he understood what the man had done, but he was glad it was over. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now. He'd been sitting here alone for about an hour and he hadn't been told what to do.

A man came down the basement steps, giving him a concerned glance. This man was different. He looked like he worked here. He was barely clothed and obviously on some type of drug, judging by the way he acted. He approached Loki and sat down in front of him.

"You're new." He spoke.

Loki just nodded.

He smiled at him. "Names Trick. What's yours?"

"L-Loki." He told him, offering him a small smile.

"Like the prince!" He said.

Loki nodded again. "Yeah. Just like the prince..."

Loki pulled his knees up to his chest.

"How'd you end up here? Word is you came in with the Grandmaster."

"H-He brought me here because he thought I could learn to behave. He...owns me."

"Oh shit. I'm sorry." He said. "I've heard he's awful..."

"He is."

Loki looked down at the floor. He wanted to go back. He hated his master but he was scared of this place.

"How'd you get with him? If you don't mind me asking."

"I...I-I don't really like talking about it."

"Oh. I'm sorry." He said. "Do you want some clothes?"

Loki nodded. "Please."

He smiled and got up, telling Loki he'd be right back. Loki was scared. He was worried. He wanted to go back. He wanted Tony. He wanted to go home. He hugged his knees to his chest.

He came back into the room a few minutes later, holding a few articles of clothing.

"It's not much, and it's not really... _decent..._ but it'll keep you covered at least."

Loki smiled and took the clothes. "Thank you. It's perfect. Any clothing is perfect..."

He'd brought Loki a pair of shorts, and a long robe type thing. He pulled both items on, instantly feeling better.

"I gotta go back out but it's almost time to close, so the others should be down soon." He said.

Loki nodded. "How many are there?"

"Oh, I don't know...There are five guys, six including you. And like, ten, fifteen girls. We get new girls all the time, but new guys are rare so you'll probably be popular."

Loki nodded again, but he didn't find that very comforting. He didn't want to be popular. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to deal with this. He wanted to go home. He wanted Tony back. He wanted to feel safe again.

He didn't understand why this was happening. He hated it.

He never thought he'd ever want to be back with his master, but he'd take that over this any day. He didn't know what to expect in a place like this. He didn't know how it would be. At least with his master, he knew how to act and what was expected of him.

He hugged his knees to his chest and hid his face. He was tired and hungry and cold. He wished he'd been given something to eat.

Loki moved into the corner and closed his eyes. Maybe he'd be able to get some sleep.

* * *

_Loki sat next to Tony on the couch, leaning on his shoulder, with a blanket wrapped around his body. They were back in New York. It was snowing outside. He was cold, but Tony's body heat helped keep him a little warmer._

_The TV was on, but Loki didn't care. He didn't find it all that entertaining. Tony was watching it though, as he stroked Loki's hair. Loki shifted around, moving to lay his head on Tony's lap._

_"You okay?" Tony asked._

_Loki nodded._

_They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the only sound coming from the TV. He felt safe like this. He was happy, like truly happy. He loved Tony._

_Loki turned and buried his face in Tony's thigh, taking a deep breath. He wanted Tony. He wanted to do everything in his power to please Tony. He wanted Tony to love him. Tony saved his life and Loki couldn't lose him._

_Loki rolled off the couch and got to his knees in front of Tony, keeping his blanket on._

_"What are you doing, sweetheart?"_

_Loki looked up at him. "I want you."_

_"Why?"_

_Loki tilted his head to the side. "Because I love you and I want to make you feel good."_

_"Alright." Tony said, running his fingers through Loki's hair._

_All of a sudden, everything went dark, and a blood chilling scream rang out through the room._

_It took Loki a moment to realize that the scream had been his own. His back was suddenly burning, pain radiating throughout his entire body. Loki tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't. They wouldn't move. He tried to move his hands, but they were bound behind him._

_He screamed again when his skin started burning again. It felt like he was on fire. It felt like he was being burned alive. He could smell burning flesh._

_He didn't know what was happening. It felt like someone was attacking him but he was positive that there was no one around. He could smell his own blood as he was hit in the face repeatedly._

_He felt himself drifting, the constant pain bringing him closer and closer to unconsciousness._

_And then he was suddenly back in Tony's living room, on his knees, just like he'd been only moments before._

_Except Tony wasn't there. Loki was staring up at his master. He reached down and wrapped his hand around Loki's throat._

_Loki tried to speak, but his lips wouldn't move. He couldn't even make a sound; nothing came out. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tony step into view. He had a knife in his hand and a look on his face that made Loki's blood run cold._

_He moved closer, placing one hand on Loki's head. He brought the knife around to his cheek, pressing the tip into the soft skin._

_Loki struggled in his master's grasp, trying to do everything in his power to get away. He didn't understand what Tony was doing. Tony always said he'd never hurt him, so why would Tony take a knife to him? It didn't make sense. He didn't know what his master was doing to Tony to make him do this._

_Tony dug the blade into his skin and he felt blood drip down. He tried to beg them to stop, but he still couldn't get a sound out._

_He was scared. He was confused. None of this made any sense. Everything hurt more than it should. It's like his body's pain receptors had been turned on to overload. Every little shift of the blade, every time his master's grip tightened, every time Tony's hand shifted in his hair, it hurt terribly; more than it should have._

* * *

Tony was starting to get antsy. He did everything he could to distract himself, spending days at a time in his workshop, unable to sleep or eat. None of it worked though. His mind always wandered back to Loki. He felt useless, just sitting here.

Loki'd been gone for almost three weeks. He could only imagine the things that were happening to Loki. He couldn't just sit here. Thor said he'd be able to get them there but that was it. He needed to get Loki back. He was worried about him. He wasn't safe there.

Tony was almost healed. In his opinion, he was healed enough to go help Loki, but according to everyone else, he wasn't. 

He got up and headed up to the kitchen. He pulled out a glass and grabbed the bottle of whiskey off the counter. He filled the glass and took a sip. He leaned against the counter and let out a long sigh. He hated waiting here like this. He needed to get there. 

He spent hours a day, working, trying to figure out if there was any possible way for him to get there on his own. He worked on his suits, trying to find some way to alter them to get him to Loki. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't come up with any reasonable way to do it. 

"Mornin'" Clint spoke, walking over to the fridge. "Little early for that, don't you think?"

"Morning?"

"Yeah. It's seven in the morning."

Tony stared at him blankly.

"Wait- have you been up all night?"

"Apparently." Tony shrugged. "Oh well."

"You need to sleep." He told him. "This is like the third day in a row you've been up all night."

Tony refilled his cup and grabbed a muffin out of the box on the counter. "I'll sleep when I'm dead."

He headed back down to his workshop and sat down. He looked over his notes, trying to find something he missed. He needed to basically be able to travel into deep space. He needed a vehicle, whether it be his suit or something else, that could withstand extremely low temperatures, and could fly long enough and fast enough to get him there. He also needed to know where 'there' is. 

There was no way that he could create something that could do that. He was at a loss. He didn't have anything that could withstand that. It was possible for him to mess with the structure of the Quinjet, but he was unsure if it would work. He needed a spaceship. He knew that Thor could get him there with the Bifrost, but he didn't want to wait. The longer he waited, the less likely it was that he'd get Loki back alive. He needed to get himself there as soon as he could. He needed to talk to Thor. He couldn't get there on his own, so he'd have to convince Thor to send him there and he wouldn't take no for an answer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long and is a little shorter than usual. I've just been crazy busy and I've had some writers' block. 
> 
> Comment what you think is going to happen.


End file.
